Is there any hope?


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Sylvia 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #779596 Reply

    Mullegoj

    I have been seeing a guy a little bit since the summer. Due to circumstances we haven’t been able to see each other that much and the “relationship” has mostly been texting. He had recently gone through a breakup which he kind of let me know the last time I saw him which was also the time we had sex for the first time. Ever since then the texting was weird and I could feel that I became weird in the texting as well because I could feel something was off. He ends up sending me a message that he can feel he is not ready for a new relationship…….
    I know that there is nothing I can do about that and I also called it off. However I cannot stop thinking about him and how things would have turned out differently if I had acted else like. We have not been in contact for a month now and I simply dont know if there is anything i can do other than lean back….. :( ? I go through the situation again and again and it really frustrates me

    #779597 Reply

    Tallspicy

    Hugs! So, reframe this as learning;

    What did you learn?: here are examples
    A. Stand in what you want
    B. Share what you want early and make sure aligned
    C. Ask about where someone is in their process

    What would you have done differently? Not to get a different outcome, but to show up as your best self, for you. That is all you can do.

    You cannot make someone want you or not want you. And stop abandoning yourself to someone who does want you, never put someone ahead of you in the love que.

    #779598 Reply

    Mullegoj

    Tallspiracy: Thank you. I for sure have been think a lot and learned A LOT from this experience and how important it is to stay true to yourself and character. I truly I will be able to use these things then next time I meet someone.
    However I have these immerse feeling of regretting not having the perspective I have now when I was with this guy.
    I have been thinking about texting him and asking for a meet up, but I think it might leave me in a even worse situation :(
    I know there will come another one around eventually but things like this does not hang on a tree. And I hav ethics horrible fear when I meet someone I like that I am up for a heartbreak…..

    #779611 Reply

    Sylvia

    Poor us, almost every single post (including mine) is about overanalysing a guy who wasn’t into us. And still hoping they’ll come back. It’s been a month so a while, there is a tricky balance between making him “miss you” and forgetting you. Meet up – no way. If anything when you’re with friends you can text him then and ask if he wants to join you with your friends. More carefree option.

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