Is he gonna ask me out?


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This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Talia 1 month ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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  • #814713 Reply

    Clara

    Hi- I will try be quick.
    I went on a date on Monday (it is Thursday now) with this guy I met on hinge. We hit it off, great chemistry, he made the date longer, long story short: great time. He did message the next day something about him being so sleepy at work, given we were out so late, so it is all nice.
    My problem is, he hasn’t asked to see me again. I know, it has been only 2 days, but we did chat a little yesterday – low key, breezy flirting, where he said I don’t know you well enough yet, implying we will get to know better I suppose.
    I might be overreacting, but why wouldn’t he make plans already, or is it still okay given it has only been 2.5 days since we met.

    Thanks guys

    #814714 Reply

    Anila

    Chill, he will most likely. It has been only 2 days, and he has been in touch.

    #814717 Reply

    Ewa

    first of all this is not a good start, cause I can tell you are too keen.He might not be making plans because :
    A) he is single so he might be dating multiple women at the same time meaning he doesn’t know when he will have time for you
    B) he enjoyed the date but still waiting for better option
    C) he liked you but is not asking you out as he might not know when he is going to be free next

    point is stop overthinking and waiting for men to ask you out, date others and if you are not that type then as someone else said just chill :)

    #814722 Reply

    Anila

    I don’t think the poster is too keen, she is just interested in him. I think Ewa you are drawing way too harsh conclusions way too quick – it has been 2 days since the date after all…..
    the poster does not say anywhere that she isn’t keeping her options open at all.

    #814724 Reply

    Ewa

    my conclusions are not harsh, this is dating in 2020 :)
    also he might be playing it cool, I am sorry but to me this is keen if she is asking why he hasn’t asked her out and it is only been 2 days :) no offence and I am not trying to be mean but to me this is too keen :)

    #814725 Reply

    Talia

    Hi Clara,
    You don’t look too keen to me, and I don’t think you have anything to worry about either. Regarding the fact that we are in 2020, I’d say that you’re allowed to ask him out yourself, as a girl, and maybe he is even waiting for that. I don’t think it would seem too eager.
    All the best

    #814738 Reply

    Lola

    I would not worry either, as long as he arranges one within 7 days. Longer than that without asking for a date could be low interest.

    #814740 Reply

    T from NY

    I also agree that you are too keen and overly invested in a man you barely know. This is evident by you writing in about a guy you’ve been on one date with and monitoring how often you’re talking to him and wondering aloud if he’ll ask you out. It’s great to be excited that a date went well – but healthy women understand that in dating – men come and go and it’s for YOUR OWN mental health and self love to not care about men until they are your boyfriend. Have crushes? Yes. Have butterflies and be happy to hear from them? Not only is it fruitless to try and predict their movements it actually hurts your chances with progressing the relationship. (Even though you don’t even know this person, his character, his habits and know if you would want to have a relationship…) The reason it can interfere is because most of communication is non verbal. And men can smell desperate women, or women who don’t vet them properly, ones over the moon too soon – from a mile away and it turns them off. Healthy, high quality men are drawn to confident women because men value freedom and respect above all else. It’s hard for them to fall for you if they feel you’re overly invested too soon because they will feel trapped and not respect you don’t live your own life.

    Your most important job with dating is being in the receiving mode while cultivating your wonderful life by dating yourself first and foremost. It takes PRACTICE not to care because we live in a society saturated in teaching women they are the most worthy when they are desired by a man. Live your life! Be happy! Watch a man’s actions. Let HIM lead. Don’t initiate. Actions and words have to line up for it to be real. And the man meant for you will be feel EASY and you won’t have to make predictions.

    #814741 Reply

    Sensy

    I wouldn’t feed his ego giving them all the flirting and I would make him do the work. Save that for a relationship.

    #814742 Reply

    Sensy

    *him

    #814744 Reply

    Sensy

    Well said T from NY!!!!😍

    #814846 Reply

    Lyla

    My rule of thumb is asking for a second date within 7 days. If you waited 7 days and there is no sign of him planning to see you again – forget it.

    #814851 Reply

    Newbie

    With saying he extended the date do you mean you slept with him or something like that? Because that would explain your anxiousness atm. In any way i woundt extent first dates too long. You got to leave some mystery for a next one. For the rest i agree with the ones saying you are too keen which never works in your favour. I like lyka’s 7 days rule

    #814854 Reply

    Lane

    The only thing a woman can do in this situation is WAIT to see if he’ll plan another one or not, within a few days. The quicker they ask you out again, then you know that, at a minimum, you are at the forefront of their mind. If not, its OK because its life way of saying “your not the right match for each other.”

    DO NOT get caught up in the ‘text trap’ with a man you just met. That’s LAZY, cheap and easy to do, whereas taking a woman out to impress her because he’s impressed with you is the best route to take in dating.

    If he doesn’t plan another tell yourself “SO WHAT, BIG WHOOP, NO LOSS because there are plenty of guys out there who will put in a lot of effort to impress the heck out of me!” Trust me, I’m so glad a lot of them didn’t call back because it freed me up to meet a man who loved and adored me :o)

    This dating mindset makes it sooo much easier when THE MAN goes above-and-beyond to prove to you what a great BF he would make! Those are the best relationships.

    #814881 Reply

    Talia

    We wouldn’t know if he would ask you out or not, but I would say 2 days without a text is not a big deal at the beginning.

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