I'm a virgin, but want a friend with benefits

Bedazzle I have had many mistakes – on my and my friends parts! – to have developed that theory!

Don’t ever, ever have sex with someone you like until you know they feel the same way. If you don’t care and seriously only want to have sex, have fun! The trouble is the mind can convince you it’s casual when it isn’t (especially when hormones come into it!)

“I’m willing to bet half of the women crying over guys on this website don’t even experience orgasms to secrete any kind of Oxytocin. I think it is all social conditioning and low self esteem that’s keeping them attached.” Yep! My theory exactly Alia.

The rest of what you said is really interesting and I think you’re right.

Hi Hannah,

Three years ago I was in the exactly same situation. I knew he wasn’t my kind of guy, but I thought he would do fine as a friend with benefits. I told him I was a virgin and I know a lot of guys are scared of that (especially when they don’t want to get in a relationship with you). Chances are your guy would get cold feet if you tell him, but I would tell him anyway. First times (and second, third, fourth,… times as well, I didn’t know that either) often hurt physically for a woman. If the guy doesn’t know you’re a virgin, I think it will hurt even more. The guy I did it with knew, so he was nice and did his very best to make it special for me, which I still appreciate.

Concerning the emotional bond, I got it as well, I doubt it is the oxytocine :p It was just me being crazy ;) and I just didn’t want to let go. I got hurt obviously, very much. At the end he was becoming very disrespectful to me as well and he dropped me as if I were nothing. That hurt as well. However, till today, I still don’t regret that I have done it, because otherwise I would still be a virgin and the older you get, the weirder it gets to have to say that to a guy. If I could do it over again, I would’ve done the same, but I would’ve chosen another guy for it, because I have a better sight of what I want now. But I read there are girls on this forum that did regret it, so it’s really up to you. Just be prepared for the physical pain and perhaps the emotional pain, but I guess at the end we all go through that.

And if can give you further advice: if you go through with it, buy a vibrator, because if you use that regularly, the pain will become less, much faster than if you let nature do his thing (nature is not kind to women :s ) and it’s only then that you can begin to enjoy it.