Ignoring Me

Hold up, after all this you are still considering seeing him again?
Really?
There is nothing to fix here this man has been claear in his actions that he does not want much from you, yet you would still consider allowing him back in?
I don’t get the point of writing about a man’s bad behavior more than once but, continuing to go back.
The fact that you call him a friend baffles me as well. My friends don’t hurt my feelings time and time again.
I’m really not one to say this but, I think it’s time you work on your self respect and boundaries.
Really take some time to read the responses here because doing nothing and sitting around for him to come back is not a wise choice.

Guys do things like this quite frequently in new relationships. I’m not sure if it’s because they value their freedom or space and want to make sure you’re the type of women who has her own life to live and won’t cling to him or why exactly they do. I’m sure most do this unconsciously. My current bf did this at the beginning of our relationship. We were friends prior too and we started hanging out together spending everyday for a week and then randomly after a week he left, didn’t text or call for a day and left me wondering what he was up to but here’s the thing; I didn’t let it bother me. I assumed he was getting caught up in his emotions and didn’t a little space. I didn’t contact him and when he contacted me the next day I made him wait a little bit before I replied. By doing this I pretty much let him know that yeah I like you and I’m interested in seeing where this goes but if you don’t measure up I have other options and I’m not waiting around on anybody. I never messaged him back that day and guess what, he just showed up at my house. I think it floored him that I didn’t freak out on him and I just did my own thing. That’s what a lot of the articles on a new mode talk about is respecting yourself and then others respect you. This concept had changed my life and I now know that I’ll be okay whether I have a man or not and by thinking this way men are all over it… When he does things like this don’t let it bother you and do your own thing .

Alexi, I think your situation is totally different from hers. She’s posted before and this is a continuous cycle.

Good Dancer,
You keep hoping he will change and letting him do this to you. This is very frustrating to read, especially since this is at least your second post about this situation. You’re letting him. Everyone is telling you what to do. I think you’re merely on here to vent and not seeking advice. Or for us to validate that you should continue to stick this out. Good luck with all this mess.

The first paragraph is a typo . I meant to say just because I have posted more than once doesn’t mean I don’t want it to stop

Spontaneous was an auto correct

Sounds to me that your cup is not full with this man and when he does come back you’ll be back with the same story.Since you won’t just end things it leads me to believe that you are hoping he will come back and smooth things over a bit.
The choice is yours to either take heed to the advice given or learn a lesson.
I suppose you will go with the ladder.
Those people that are no longer in your life are out for a reason.

Yanzy

Thankyou we have been friends nearly 3 years and he also knows about the last couple of douchebags I’ve been with and he once got mad at me earlier this year before we started having sex, that I should be with him and stop wasting time with losers, and how he is a NICE guy…..

I’ve told him it’s “over” before but it’s never stuck, so he probably won’t even believe me, so that’s why I think just disappearing and not replying to texts will be more effective. If like you say I will know his true feelings once I end it, I’m more likely to find that out if he can’t get a response from me. It’s just the way he works. If I said hey I’m done it’s over, and sent a text saying that, he wouldn’t believe it. It’s easier for me emotionally to just disappear rather than making announcements that I AM disappearing from his life

I truly hope you do because you’ll keep getting mistreated if you don’t.
The thing about all this is you may not be serious about moving forward but, one day he may actually start being serious with another woman.
Do you really want to stick around and see that happen?
I see way too much credit be given to a guy you call a friend, with a friend like that who needs enemies?

JJ

The thing that’s hard for me about making an it’s over announcement is that prior to March this year (sex) we were the best of friends and I never would have imagined him acting like this . If you had asked me what I thought of him I would have said he’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. There’s 3 years of platonic friendship behind it where there were no issues

You’re making excuses for him. I doubt you would tolerate that behaviour from one of your girlfriends. Friendships can and do end.

I don’t see the appeal on ambivalent guys…guys who aren’t only “kinda there” but not really there, or who only show you attention when he wants something (sex) and then forgets your existence afterwards. Is that what you want? Someone who only gives you a half assed effort? Why do so many women fight to keep these kinds of guys around instead of kicking them to the curb? You’re right, you don’t have to text him and tell him you’re done. Just pull a permenant Houdini act and delete his number. Hell, block it if you have to. Stop accepting this vague behavior. Believe and know that you deserve better.

When I decided to move on from my ex, my friend admitted that he had feelings for me since last December. He’s my boyfriend now and I couldn’t be happier. The point is, you need to let this “friend” (and I use that term very loosely) go and find people that will cherish you.

Well done. As long as you are resolved in your head and stick to this.

He didn’t respond because he simply isn’t bothered- as much as that may hurt- that illustrates what we have been telling you about his ambivalence regardless of whether you were friends before.