If I dumped him….would he ignore me?


Home Forums Break Up Advice If I dumped him….would he ignore me?

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  • #386497 Reply
    Katie

    If a guy was dumped, would he be too scared to talk to me? To initiate contact after the breakup?

    #386501 Reply
    Katie

    Let me put it this way. Guys point of view. Guy gets dumped because girl didn’t feel like he felt the same. He texts her every now and then but nothing comes from it. She tells him to not talk to her for awhile because it seems like he won’t put in more effort or fight for a relationship. It’s been two weeks and he didn’t text her after she says that. Is he just respecting what she says, or doesn’t really care? Would a guy fight even when told not to talk to her if he really cared?

    #386502 Reply
    Katie

    It’s been a little over a month since the breakup.

    #386504 Reply
    Free Spirit

    If he cared, he would be contacting you to see you.

    #386506 Reply
    Katie

    Even after I told him not to contact me?

    #386508 Reply
    Free Spirit

    Yes, as I understand, you did let him know your reasons for the step back and he still is making no effort. Wise move because you put yourself first. Give more time and just keep moving forward.

    #386512 Reply
    Cleo

    The real question here is why would you want him to initiate contact after you dump him? Do you truly want to dump him in the first place?

    #386517 Reply
    buttercup

    You tell a man to not contact you so they don’t. Men are quite simple.

    They don’t get subtle hints and reverse psychology.

    When a women says don’t contact her the underlying hint is that she really wants him to contact her. He hears don’t contact. So he doesn’t. Straight forward.

    #386518 Reply
    Katie

    I did break up for a reason. Because I knew, for sure, I had more feelings for him. He was already hesitant about being in a relationship and then he barely tried when we were in a relationship. He did initiate contact after I dumped him. But only to say things like he missed me or asked what I was doing. Then, I told him to not contact me. Now it’s been two weeks and I have heard nothing. I wanted to see if he cared.

    #386519 Reply
    Katie

    Then should I just call him because not talking to him sucks. Maybe try to ease into starting a conversation? I don’t mean to play games. But it feels like I am. Then again, it didn’t seem like he really tried to get back with me either. I’m just confused and really miss him.

    #386526 Reply
    Flower

    That Will teach you to not do something you really dont want to, but judging from what you are saying, he wasnt really invested, so not a big loss. Now you have to behave as like you own your décision, cause Otherwise hé won’t take you serious at all, moreover you ll seem like a drama queen, who cause all this mess and then wants it back, you ll look like someone who doesnt even know what she wants. Dont do it!! If hé decided to get back after you contact him, hé would give even less. One go my friends did with her now husband she told him to only come back if hé changed this hrs and this. Well, i think it took close to 2 months, but hé did come back! On her terms!

    #386532 Reply
    Katie

    I didn’t tell him to come back if he changed. I just said don’t talk to me for awhile, I need space. Does that matter?

    #386556 Reply
    Aries

    If u contact him after dumping him he will respect u even less and he will slack even more.
    He knows u like him and prob no why u dumped him and if he really liked u he would be trying real hard to get u back. He occasionally sends a i miss u text? Yeah, hes only feeding u crumbs and any attempt to message him will leave u feeling even more hurt. He will just string u in along until a girl he REALLY likes comes around.

    #386576 Reply
    Free Spirit

    Grest advice Shabz!

    #386578 Reply
    Free Spirit

    Wrong post. Sorry.

    #386579 Reply
    Free Spirit

    Yes it really does matter the specific words you said and it is quite all right. It allows him to determine his feelings. Do not contact him because he will view it as needy and desperate. Keep the power. If his actions show it is not meant to be, just let it go aND look forward to the future and enjoy the present.

    #386583 Reply
    Raven

    Katie,
    You’re playing games. Games always backfire :(

    #386593 Reply
    Free Spirit

    Katie, you weren’t playing games. You were merely realizing he was not showing he was investing in you. Therefore, you weren’t settling for bread crumbs. If you accept what he was giving you, you would not have been respecting yourself. You asked for space for this reason. If he is into you, he would step up.

    #386669 Reply
    Katie

    I definetly agree with you Free Spirit. I didn’t want to put up with his random meaningless texts. I know I wanted space for a reason and I do need to stick by what I said. Thank you. It’s just hard.

    #386947 Reply
    Katie

    I just ran into my ex’s friends at the grocery store. They looked at me and said “hey” and tried to walk away fast. I waved and said hello politely but it bothered me how avoidant they were. Has anyone else experienced this or am I being too sensitive about it. It was like they didn’t even like me lol.

    #386948 Reply
    Free Spirit

    Just surround yourself with those in yourlife who are loving, encouraging and supportive:)

    #386969 Reply
    Katie

    I will. Not talking to him for over 2 weeks and it’s killing me. I can’t help but feel hurt he’s doing fine and doesn’t care. It’s hard to let go. I’m doing better day by day, but some times it’s harder than others. This is one of the hardest breakups for me ever.

    #492449 Reply
    Sarah Millman

    I ended things with my partner the day after Christmas this year. I had to do it because we weren’t going anywhere with our lives as a relationship. I had my dreams he had his own and they just didn’t go in the same path. Most of the relationship he would make me do things I didn’t like from time to time and I’d tell him I didn’t like it but he’d just say sorry and do it anyway. He used to be so nice and caring but after the last 4 months he pushed me away he seem to have lost interest in a way and didn’t like me for who I am but for who I was. I let him go because I didn’t want to hurt anymore because I’d always try to explain my feelings and he wouldn’t take it well. He pushed it all on me like I didn’t care about his feelings. It really hurt. I want to push forward and focus on me but the process is going slower than I thought. I can’t sleep because of it. He never enjoyed my inspirations to be fit or my music. So I guess what I’m looking for in the future while I just have fun for the moment is A man who fulfils a woman’s needs. Who can love me for me even on my bad days. Will tell me the things I wanna hear without me having to tell myself all the time. Thing is I gave everything back to him that he gave me. I didn’t want to keep it all because of the memories. I don’t have bad dreams when I get to sleep just thoughts that stop me from getting sleep. I hate the fact he’s acting all fine about it and doesn’t seem to be hurting like I am. But if he isn’t hurting and is enjoying the fact I am gone maybe I should to.

    #492564 Reply
    Bryan

    Ok. I got dumped by my gf 2 months ago. I’m DYING to get back with her. I reached out a few times but she said “move on”. So I did. I have had no contact with her at all in 3 weeks. She contacted me by phone bc she ran into my friend and my friend laid into her for how she treated me. She got really defensive and took no responsibility. I took the high road each time. Never argued. Agreed with her decision. She was mean to me but I still miss the good times. But will I reach out to her? NEVER. She said “move on” so
    I am. I miss her so much. BUt If she felt the same it’s incumbent on Her to
    Reach out to me. And it’s incumbent on YOU to reach out of you are aching. Your problem as I see it is your ego is bruised. Just because he was distant doesn’t mean he can’t adjust. Men are adaptable same as women. Sometimes men just simply don’t know they’re not being attentive and need to be told. If you love him the. Reach out to him and SET BOUNDARIES. Why wait? If you really have feelings for him then tell him. He reached out to you already and you shot him down. I hate games. Say what you mean and then act on it. If you love him and care for him then act on it. The ball is in your court bc you put it there. I’m in a diff spot because my ex was clear. My ex also was brutally mean to me. I wasn’t spending time with her either but i was brutally honest about it. She was fine with it until she wasn’t. Then she snapped and abused the crap out of me. Blamed me. Called me names. Told me I will be jealous and she’s amazing. Said she’ll be with someone new soon and I will be jealous. Called me character flawed. I did NOTHING to deserve this. She just is immature and she said the only reason I was hurt by her comments was bc I’m “too sensitive”. Wow. Any guy ever gotten dumped and then had the girl dump ON you? Don’t let the chance get away.

    #492572 Reply
    Hannah

    You told him you didn’t want him to contact you but actually you do? To me that’s playing games.

    I wouldn’t contact someone who specifically asked me not to, would you?

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