Heartbroken over Breakup


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This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Elvira 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #886381 Reply

    leila

    I broke up with my fiance, 3 weeks after his sister died. I wasn’t happy for a while, and he ws upset with me for traveling with friends 3 weeks after the funeral. I had asked him if it was ok, he said yes that he’d be working anyway. So I went. Before I left he asked me about something that happened a year ago w a female “friend” of his. That made alot of memories come back which I thought was gone. Memories and alot of mistrust. WE got into a small argument and I left on the plane. When i got back we were talking and he started verbally abusing me. I tried to calm him down, he started asking me to end things. I think he wanted me to fight for us but I had no strength left. I listened as he got angrier slammed the phone on me and I sent a text saying “I guess it’s over”

    I wasn’t happy for a while. He was using me for money, and accusing me of things. I was also wondering if he was talking to that female friend again.

    My question is why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel as if I’m wrong? I cry picturing him in his apartment, the one I helped him get…or driving in his jeep the one I helped him with also…Why do I feel so guilty? I know his sister just died, but he pushed me to say it. I miss him so much but know this is for the best. How do I live without this guilt?

    #886465 Reply

    Zoe

    Never be guilty ending toxic relationship. You only have one life. Only be with someone that is good for you

    #886561 Reply

    Elvira

    Hi Leila,
    There are many emotions after a breakup, and I think regardless of the situation the person who loves/cares will feel a sense of guilt. Guilt that they didn’t try harder or do things differently. However, remember that no matter what there is only so much you can do or control. A relationship is 2 way and both parties need to contribute and want to make things work equally. In my last relationship I felt a sense of guilt as well after the breakup, but I also remember the “bad” times caused by him either by his attitude or drinking. In your case there was mistrust and from what you say a lot of giving on your end. I think you’re an extremely caring person who may have been taken advantage of. The littlest comment will make you rethink your actions especially if you feel the person still needs you. I think you should take this time to reflect on what you want/need before giving all to others. Take some time to reflect on the relationship and how one sided it was. Sometimes it pays to be selfish and take time to spoil and take care yourself versus others. The guilt will surpass….and you will realize you deserve better.

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