This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by M 4 years, 2 months ago.
May 5, 2016 at 3:40 pm #530174
Have heard people said this many times.. but if someone truly loves u, he would never leave at the first place. Once the heart is broken it is broken.. so even if the person regrets and comes crawling back, we cannot take him back, not any more?May 5, 2016 at 5:10 pm #530199
I can understand why people say that but it’s not my experience. Just look at Prince William and Kate Middleton and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. Both couples who broke up, got back together, got married and had kids.
My own personal experience is that he did come back. It will be a year next month that we’ve been back together. Things are amazing, we’re incredibly in love and talking about marriage and the future. The first time we dated he thought I was still hung up on my ex husband and he was a rebound. We got in a big fight and it took months before we were back in contact. The second time we broke up was because I was being needy and insecure. He owns his own business, his free time is precious and I was adding to his stress wanting to see him, getting irritated when he didn’t answer a text within and hour, etc. And he told me he couldn’t deal with it and broke up. He said maybe we could try again when things at work settled down. That is when I found this site and realized it was my needy behavior that caused issues (he never said that, just I was adding to his stress.) I worked on myself and he worked on making me a priority and work now comes in second. As a matter of fact, he’s looking into doing something else so that we can have a better future together. :)
So for me the third time is the charm. We were talking just this weekend about how it took the journey we went on for us to get where we are. Without it, he wouldn’t be able to accept my close relationship with my ex because of the kids and not feel threatened, I wouldn’t have worked on my issues (it was hard for me to go from being a wife for 23 years to a girlfriend) and he wouldn’t realize how important I am to him and that money and status and success are now second to our relationship. Obviously it remains to be seen if this will stand the test of time, but I couldn’t be happier and every day he shows me how committed he is to our relationship.
So yes I think they do come back if it’s true love!!!!May 5, 2016 at 6:26 pm #530217
I think that’s fodder for movies and novels… Real life ? Not usually.May 5, 2016 at 7:43 pm #530227
I think it is rare.
A person has to have a full comprehension of what they lost.
That takes the ability to see you were in the wrong.
But, once in a blue moon it happens.May 5, 2016 at 9:10 pm #530238
Oddly enough, that’s what the current wisdom is, and yet every single couple I know that is happily married broke up at least once.May 5, 2016 at 9:36 pm #530240
I believe in “soulmates”. Soulmate connections can be very intensive and painful. The partners break up come back to each other a lot. The connection never really severs. This is usually because they are dealing with their own “issues” and both need to learn lessons and work through them. When those lessons are learned, the final union takes place between the two.
Although most people think of a soulmate as a perfect harmonious union of bliss, your true spiritual soulmate is the person who is intended to help you “complete yourself.”
Even though we tend to think of soul mates as a symbiotic union, soulmate relationships can be rough at the beginning. They can be like two jagged edged puzzle pieces trying to click into place. Sometimes it looks like you do not fit together at all, but soon after a little bit of twisting, turning, and flipping the pieces around, you feel the moment of the perfect click. It’s a feeling deep in your soul, that says, this is the right one.May 6, 2016 at 12:27 am #530259
I am forced to break up with someone like that, a soulmate. We just click. I believe we both have issues. But we just compensate each other and our issues compensate each other as well. We just keep coming back to each other. Normal norms and logic aren’t strong enough to convince him or me. I know one can have more than one soulmate. But finding another one isn’t easy and breaking up with one is so difficult. I went by the rules here to move on from him and he also tried to move on from me, but it is still hanging there. Cannot find anything powerful enough to make a clean cut. If I told him to not come back I know it’d be a joke, coz I am not even ready to let it go. I don’t even know where to start?May 6, 2016 at 2:11 am #530264
Going through this I feel hopeful. WE have been together for 6 years, and recently it became a long distance relationship. He says he doesn’t feel it anymore I feel it is work stress, I just don’t feel like waking up in the morning. Hope he returns, I can’t imagine my life with anyone else.May 6, 2016 at 3:40 am #530271
I’m confused. If you want him to come back, why end it? I’m assuming because he’s not treating you right?
I only know one couple who split and ended up together, so I agree it’s quite rare.
Sometimes love just isn’t enough. You can love someone but they make you more unhappy than happy, you can be incompatible in too many ways, etc. It’s never easy to let go but really it’s your only option if you’re not the right fit for each other.May 6, 2016 at 5:18 am #530277
Our ability to love is not predicated on the other person’s compatibility with us. We can love people who are not good for us.
That is why when you see this situation it is important to let go…you can still love the person but not live day to day and rip yourself apart about them.
Love is a beautiful and sometimes strange thing.May 6, 2016 at 8:06 am #530295
It would depend on why you broke up to begin with and whether both of you are willing to seriously address the problem that caused the rift. Sometimes it’s just a lack of maturity or bad timing and while you shouldn’t wait around for these individuals to get their act together, if they do in your absence and you just happen to still be single why not give them a second chance?
That being said, I might believe in second chances, but I don’t believe in a third or a fourth. One break up is all they get and even that greatly depends on what happened and how the relationship was in retrospect.
If you’re constantly breaking up and getting back together, that’s indication that the relationship isn’t working on some fundamental level, no amount of “wanting to make it work” will fix it.May 7, 2016 at 12:10 pm #530583
I just found the saying “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”
just something to consider ;)May 7, 2016 at 8:23 pm #530632
Wishful thinking, most things once broken can not be fixed, same like relationships, you just can’t go back.
it may work temporarily but, always end up the same; BrokenMay 7, 2016 at 9:11 pm #530637
The painful cycle of breaking up and getting back together again and again and again is unhealthy. It’s not soulmates, it’s soul-crushing and addictive. Relationships like that can change for the better but only if both people are willing to do the work it takes to heal their emotional wounds. It usually starts with the woman doing the work but if the other partner doesn’t get on board at some point, the relationship has to end in order for the person who is working to fully heal and find a healthy relationship. Just my opinion, through research, experience and observation, though.