He said he likes me but actions says otherwise

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Vera 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #785544 Reply


    I’ve been in limbo with this guy for a few months – he told me he liked me November 2019 but what he says and does do not match up.

    Firstly, what was weird about him telling me he liked me was that he mentioned that he had liked me when he first met me in July and it faded but he had begun to like me again. Could never figure out what this meant or why it faded in the first place but I let it be

    Following the confession, I didn’t give a definite answer because I wasn’t sure I wanted to get invested and he had also mentioned he wasn’t ready for a relationship. For a while we maintained a FWB relationship until I had to go out of town for a bit over a month. We texted occasionally but not everyday. There would be sweet “I miss you” at times but there would also be periods of long silences on both our ends because neither of us initiated.

    When I returned, he met me at my house but there was no contact for nearly a week after that. Then I suddenly got a call from him saying he had a bad day and needed someone to talk to, I had a talk with him and eventually stayed the night. But immediately after he flaked on our lunch plans the next day. Again, there was no contact from both sides because I was busy with school and him with attachments. When we began talking, it seemed natural because he would ask me questions and be interested in my life.

    I subsequently went on a 2 week holiday to take some time to myself. But he would send me posts and social media and I would reply in the most neutral friendly manner I could. As a way of reciprocation, I did send him pictures and funny content. But I realised that he did not even ask when I was going to return – he might be busy with his attachment but I don’t want to be giving him excuses. Also, when I ask him how his day way he sometimes doesn’t reply to that question and replies to something else entirely.

    What do his actions mean??

    #785545 Reply


    Why are You even entertaining this guy?

    He doesn’t have to do anything & still gets to sleep with you… and

    #785546 Reply


    And = typo

    #785547 Reply

    T from NY

    His actions mean he is getting high quality returns of attention, companionship and sex with low effort. He takes you as he pleases and you’ve allowed this situation. At this point NOTHING he does should convince you he likes you enough for a bf/gf relationship. If he did he would have locked you down already. Some men really can be an addiction. It will take great strength and determination but if you want something real and steady he isn’t your guy. If you keep it going it means you are just as emotionally unavailable.

    #785570 Reply


    You have a FWB relationship. That’s it. When he has a bad day or wants sex he contacts you. Otherwise he can go a week or more without contacting you. Also trying to figure out how you stay the night when he wants you to but he can’t make lunch when you had plans? What did he send you home before lunch or something?

    At the same time you leave for a month, then leave for 2 weeks. Even if he wanted to see you, you’re not around!! What do his actions mean? They mean he likes you enough to have sex with you but not enough to have a relationship.

    Also, I agree with T from NY. He doesn’t have to take you out, buy you dinner, make you feel special. All he has to do is call and tell you he had a bad day and you run over to have sex with him. Low effort! What do you expect when you make it so easy? And you’re gone a month and he shows up as soon as you get home…again for sex! Did he bring you flowers, a gift, dinner? I bet not!!

    #785595 Reply


    What are his attachments? Is he married or have other girlfriends? I’m not sure what you think good is going to come of being a side chick.

    Long silences on his part indicate you are an afterthought.

    Trying to figure this guy out is pointless. You mean nothing to him.

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