Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He disappeared
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 2 weeks, 2 days ago by
Tallspicy.
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Lynda
I have been dating this guy for less than a month. To be honest everything went really fast we spent de holidays together he told his family about me me too and he was the one who came on to me and talked to his family about me first. He said he has feelings for me I spoke to his mom on the phone everything was good. But this Tuesday we talked on the phone and I mentioned it would have been nice to meet during work or after worker just to say hello since we work for the same company but not on the same floor. He said no when he comes to work it’s only to work eventhoug he used to come get some coffee on my floor and he talks to people. He said me and him it’s something outside of work. I said I just wanted to say hi not flirt or anything.. I told him we can even meet after work just to say hello and I can meet him where he parks his car and he said u don’t know how to get there. So I dropped it and I said I wasn’t mad it’s just weird. He said don’t read to much Into this it was a phone conversation he told me he did not feel well because he didn’t sleep… we texted a bit but he was cold and dry even on the phone and I haven’t heard from him. It’s been too days now, usually we text everyday he sends me a good morning text and me a good night one
What should I do ? Why is he acting this way ? Should I text him?
Thank youEric Charles
KeymasterHey Lynda.
That is a bit strange, but by itself it could be fine.
I can understand a man not wanting to mix his relationship life with his work life. He might not want nosy co-workers prying into his personal business, so he prefers to keep the relationship outside the workplace entirely.
On it’s own I think that’s something a guy could want and makes sense.
Now going from texting daily to no texting is a bit strange too, but that also could have a plausible explanation.
With this kind of thing, your best bet is to keep your cool, give things some space and see what he does… in the meantime, keep yourself occupied with things you enjoy, time with good friends, activities that lift you up, etc.
If there’s no issue, he’ll come around and things will be good again soon enough. If there’s an issue, it will come out soon enough… and if it’s a small issue, you’ll work through it and it will be fine.
Main thing here is you don’t want to create a problem where there is none… that’s what often happens if your worry and fears take your mind for a ride, and then you start doing and saying things rooted in that fear… it’s almost always much better to lean back and give the situation some space to breathe.
Hopefully all is well soon.
– Eric
Raven
@Lynda, Has he contacted you?
@raven he did after the third day and it was weird we talked and he was made i didn’t reach out for 2 days he was at the hospital apparently (for anxiety and stress it was for few hours then left). I didn’t know it was that bad but he didn’t reach out too I did check on him after and we talked and met. But I am getting tired of him being cold and shutting off when he is not getting enough sleep (I know I sound cold). It’s been barely a month and he gets cold and shuts off and distant when he feels “sick”. I feel I have to over compensate by being overly patiente and understanding and affectionate. I am taking a step back and see if he initiates date and affection. What makes me angry he doesn’t go to the doctor to fix this issue once and for all. he tells me he’s going to go but then decides to do something else! He also meets with his family friends and goes to work he has energy for that but not me ?! I don’t know maybe it requires more energy for him when he’s with me but it’s normal it’s the beginning you have to put effort into it… He is feeling unwell again I’ll send a message to check if he’s still alive but that’s it!
@Lynda, Glad you’re able to see that he needs a mommy- not a GF.
Tallspicy
Sick is code for avoidant. It is his nervous system not ok with intimacy, he prefers intensity to intimacy. Stop overfunctioning and i think this gets worse, not better
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