He blames for every argument that he starts on me


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice He blames for every argument that he starts on me

This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Erin 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #881853 Reply

    Lisa

    I would try to keep it short. My boyfriend gets irritated at the drop of a pin. When I ask a straight question, he wouldn’t reply straight to the point.Would give and instance which made me upset to the worst because he blamed me for dragging issues when he was the one who dint answer at the first place.He ordered food ,ate some,kept the leftover in the fridge.Next day I asked him,what was it as the online order says American chopsuey ( non veg). I wanted to know what meat was it. Because I don’t eat pork and he does. I wanted to make sure it’s not that. His reply was ” why would somebody give you expensive stuff like pork or anything else at the price of chicken”?
    I said ok, I was unaware of what u got as I dint eat with you last night and I dint see the dish yet . ( I was at work).
    He dint stop there.he continued why dint you google, i haven’t seen any other meat other then chicken in American Chopsuey until now. Restaurant people dint know that you would investigate so much if they just wrote ” non -veg ).why dint you ask last time when I told you that u have kept some food for you.
    I mean c’mon…these many replies for just on simple question ?
    And in the end..you drag it too much..thats why we fought so much, you need to change a lot for your good.
    All I could figure out is there is only good thing between us and we are super happy while we are making love. Rest of the time, I need to calculate and talk.He would never accept his part of nagging and always points out how I react. My reaction is based on his action. Why doesn’t he acknowledge his actions? He wants me to change because he thinks it’s for my good, but if I ask him to reduce his drinking habits, he would yell at me saying ,who are you to say this? Iam drinking from my own money,when I ask you money for my drinks, then you can question. Iam like this and will stay like this forever. He justifies his bottle of beer that he is under control after he drinks, that’s what matters ,it seems.And I should not poke him while drinking. When he is not drinking, he is nice..does laundry.. talk to me about his work problems, shows concern about my family and as said we both enjoy each other a lot, very adventurous, love to spend time together .
    But these habits , iam scared that when sex goes downhill, what will happen. Now atleast after few days of arguments we pull ourselves, we enjoy each other to the fullest.Iam so confused. Why doesn’t he just leave me as iam and keep his questions and answers straight. Why doesnt he accept that he hurts me a lot with his words of anger. Instead he complains I say hurtful words, when I speak any fact about him.

    #881877 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    “there is only good thing between us and we are super happy while we are making love.”

    I had a relationship like this in my early 20s. I was on pins and needles with the guy half the time, because I could never say the right thing; and we argued regularly, but the sex was great, so I stayed way too long. What I learned is, you spend about 5% of a relationship having sex, and 95% of it outside of bed. So good sex is not enough. I have great sex with my current bf, AND we get along wonderfully outside of the bedroom. You can have both, and should WANT both.

    I’m not sure what your question is, exactly? Things will not magically get better in your relationship. For one thing it sounds like your bf has a drinking problem, and unless HE wants to change that, it won’t change. You’re stuck in a cycle of negativity. He hurts you, you argue for days, then you have sex and everything feels great, temporarily. Then the cycle starts all over. You are not going to change him.

    #881883 Reply

    tammy

    i met some one over 2 years back. thing is we had great sex and he was awsome in bed. but he was very socially awkward and so insensitive. always said the wrong thing and that was so annoying to me. we hung around for few months but then we realised that this could never work. ofcrse we always ended up apologizing to each other. he for his insensitivity and me for getting irritated at him. though sexually attracted to each other, we were just totally incompatible. you guys need to cut this short and move on.

    #881895 Reply

    Raven

    You ask, “iam scared that when sex goes downhill, what will happen.” — What will happen is, you’ll be stuck with a loser…

    Your relationship is co-dependent & entering toxic… Is this how you want to spend your life?

    #882341 Reply

    Erin

    “I had a relationship like this in my early 20s. I was on pins and needles with the guy half the time, because I could never say the right thing; and we argued regularly, but the sex was great, so I stayed way too long. What I learned is, you spend about 5% of a relationship having sex, and 95% of it outside of bed. So good sex is not enough”

    100% agree with Lizzy!

    It’s time to call time out of the relationship,it has all the makings of a toxic and Co-dependent relationship. It’s all unhealthy and you’re going to keep getting sadder, even the sex won’t make you feel good at some point, it will feel like something you just have to do to keep the relationship.

    Sadly people change and it’s important to remember that they do. Sometimes we get stuck in relationships where we are still dating a past version of someone that we are blinded or in denial that they are not the person we knew back in time.

    Accept the change and move on so you can get in healthier relationships.

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