Guilt - a new mode

This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by kaye.

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January 2, 2020 at 11:14 am #782056 Reply

April

I have been with my partner for about 4-5 months and we end up sleeping at each other’s most evenings, even when we’ve seen our own friends etc.

My mum (who I live at home with- I’m 27 and still not able to afford my own home!) has been a widow after my step dad passed 6 years ago. Since then, she sees her two best friends once a month and her work colleagues also once a month.

I’m an only child and very close to my mum. I moved away to university, but mum had my step dad then. I’ve been in many relationships, but not where we’ve spent so much time together.

I feel so guilty about leaving my Mum and was just wondering whether anyone has ever felt the same. It sounds so pathetic but I just feel a sense of guilt that my Mum doesn’t have what I do.

Thank you xo

January 2, 2020 at 12:36 pm #782062 Reply

Anon 2

Yes, I’ve felt the same. I never left my mum til I was 48. I felt so bad leaving her to move in with my partner but you have to go live your own life. I still go see her every other day. Yes it was hard for both of us but life moves forward and so must we x

January 2, 2020 at 4:31 pm #782080 Reply

kaye

First you are feeling guilty for a reason! You can’t afford to live on your own so you’re living with your mom at 27. You’re using your mom for what you need now- affordable living situations- but not giving her what she needs- companionship/company.

I see no reason at only 4-5 months in you are spending almost every night together. When things move super fast they usually fizzle out just as quickly. I would limit spending the night together to just a few nights a week and spend the majority at your home with your mom. Not only will you help pace the relationship and not get burned out on each other and smother each other, you will make your mom happy and make your guy miss you and realize he really loves you!!

And I hope you are contributing to the bills in the household at least!!
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