Ghosting etiquette?


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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  K 1 month, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #788712 Reply

    Ann

    I am single girl who has been trying online dating.. so far my experience hasn’t been really nice, but boring. You met someone, start talking but so far from that nothing has really happen. I can totally relate on being ghosted.. and is a bad feeling, but I can’t deny that I have ghosted too.
    So my question is.. Is there a polite way to ghost someone or how can you tell a guy you are not interested instead of just ghosting and feeling like a bad person.

    #788715 Reply

    Raven

    Always follow the Golden Rule: Do unto others…

    #788718 Reply

    Tallspicy

    It is not ghosting if it is less than 3 dates. It is just dating.

    But if you want to be kind, just say… I don’t have the bandwidth to pursue this right now, it was lovely talking to you and good luck in your search!

    #788720 Reply

    Lane

    The major problem I have with the term “ghosting” is that its not ghosting if nothing has been formally developed or established (BF/GF level) between both parties. Anytime before that, If a guy stops asking me for dates I don’t need him to tell me he’s not interested, his silence (not asking for dates) tells me all I need to know so I just ACCEPT he’s not interested in pursuing anything with me and move on without any fanfare. That’s the easiest way to date.

    Only if the guy keeps asking me on dates and I don’t want to date him any further will I say something like “It was nice meeting you but I’m just not feeling it. I truly wish you happiness in life and love. Good Luck.” Short simple and too the point as there’s no need to drag something out longer than it needs to be.

    #788724 Reply

    K

    Your question indicates you’re too concerned with being a “nice girl” and/or with people liking or approving of you. You probably have difficulty handling conflict.

    You aren’t required to give everyone an explanation or put a neat bow on everything to finish it off. If you’ve been casually chatting with someone in text or email, you can stop replying. If you’ve been out with someone once or twice and they ask you again, you don’t have to respond if they ask again. Just because someone says something to you doesn’t mean you owe them a response.

    If you want to say something to stop them from contacting them, my best advice is don’t make up lies, even little white ones. That hurts you in the long run. No long explanations needed, but be honest. “On my end, I don’t see us progressing. It was great to have spent some time with you and I wish you the best.” People appreciate honesty. If you start making up white lies like I don’t have time for a relationship right now or I met someone else when that isn’t the truth, you’ll find they keep coming at you. And you dishonor yourself by giving fake explanations – “I don’t want to” is good enough.

    You don’t have to feel bad for walking away from someone who isn’t right for you.

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