Ghosted... OK to ask for closure

This topic has 36 replies and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by ANM Staff.

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October 31, 2018 at 1:20 pm #727712

Abbi

OK, I get I overreacted.
But please bear in mind that I did say he was acting distant in the run up to this.
We also spoke every day for 4 months, so yes I did panic when I didn’t hear from him for a day. Prior to this, he always messaged, even if it was a quick hi.
I still think it was rude that he ignored my message on Sunday night and a second message I sent on Monday, I may also add that he was online a lot during this time, so I do think he needs to work on his manners.

October 31, 2018 at 2:01 pm #727718

Abbi

I just don’t ignore messages from people I’m into… But I guess that’s just me.

I hold my hands up, I overreacted

October 31, 2018 at 2:18 pm #727720

Bethie

Does not sound like ghosting as your title.
Yes, overreacted – and am saying you are not an eejit, but maybe acted a bit like an eejit 8-)

October 31, 2018 at 2:23 pm #727724

Devil’s Advocate

This is the part where you call him and tell him how beautiful the flowers are and how you’re sorry you overreacted. You realize he was stressed with work but since you had talked to him everyday for 4 months you were worried when he didn’t respond.

Women need to realize everything a man does is not a reflection on the relationship. If he’s busy and can’t talk to you for one day it doesn’t mean he’s ghosting and wants to break up. Maybe I just envy people who have no clue what it’s like to be so busy from the time you get up until your head hits the pillow that it’s possible you could miss a day talking to someone!!

October 31, 2018 at 2:33 pm #727725

Abbi

I explained to him why I was unimpressed yesterday and he said he understood and in hindsight he should have given me a quick call or message.

I had a difficult long term relationship before this and I put up with a lot of crap during it.

I guess I have to learn to strike the right balance.

I have already thanked him for the flowers, and I am preparing a nice dinner for us tonight.

Thank you everybody

October 31, 2018 at 2:43 pm #727726

Khadija

You really will need to put the past behind you.

A guy not messaging you for a day isn’t taking crap.

He handled this well but, that’s not to say he will if this happens again.

Find a balance and other things to fill your life. A guy taking longer than usual to return a text should not have caused you to in a sense make a fool out of yourself.

October 31, 2018 at 3:08 pm #727731

Anon

It’s not fair to take out on your current guy what a previous boyfriend did. Your past difficult relationship is not his fault.

October 31, 2018 at 5:25 pm #727747

Emma

I wouldn’t hurry with apologies. LOL

If he sent you flowers, he knows he is in the wrong. Ignoring someone is not nice, so he is trying to make up for it.

You said he was getting colder in the past weeks, there is probably a reason. He might not be ready to end things just yet, but there is something on his mind.

Asking directly would not give you the right results, it is better to observe and listen. Thank hm for the flowers, say you appreciate it, because it did to feel nice to be ignored. And do not dwell on this more.

Relationships are not like courts, you can’t just settle things in one conversation. And people might not tell you the truth. All you can do is stand your grounds, and do not allow disrespect and mistreatment. Do not double text next time. If it happens again, you’d be foolish to seek anything serious with this dude. LOL

September 14, 2019 at 1:26 am #772927

China

I have a similar situation.
We have been friends for over 11 years. Then we started dating last year March. Things were great until May 2019. The last time I heard from him was May 17th 2019 . What makes it even harder is that it is or was a long distant relationship.
I have called and sent several messages . He responded to the last text that he has been going through a lot of setback with his business.
I feel like I am losing my mind because I need some sort of closure.
The last text I sent to him was on August 17. I want to text him so bad to ask for closure. I am so confused, heartbroken This man was good to me and he suddenly just ghosted me .

September 14, 2019 at 2:18 am #772930

Raven

This guy was not good to you…

You were friends for 11 years, dated for 2 months & then he ghost you…

He just showed you who he is… Sorry Honey-

September 14, 2019 at 12:10 pm #772944

ANM Staff
Keymaster

This thread is nearly a year old – let’s keep things fresh!

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