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T.
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Tina
I am a introvert so I keep a lot of things to myself. I deal with things internally and it’s really getting to me. I recently joined a social support group online and I try to be social. When I do so I feel that I am yet still ignored. I try to include myself on discussion but it seems that what I say is looked over. It honestly feels terrible. I have a few people that I speak to outside the group . Well so I thought. I reached out to some and got no response back. But they for sure read my message. I try to reach out and I get ignored. Someone I thought was a friend treats me so dirty I had 3 deaths in my family and I told that person and they seemed to care at the moment but that quickly changed. For instance I told my friend my grandma passed away from a stroke and they had the nerve to ask me a few dats later hey how is you grandma like I didn’t tell them she passed away. I reminded them again she was gone and they offered condolences. However a few dats went buy and again they asked me about my grandma. It’s like what I say does not even matter. My crys got help fall on deaf ears. It hurts even worse to see this person be there for others and go above and beyond to do so. I can’t help but ask myself what makes me different. Why can’t you just be here for me. It hurts not feeling like you belong. I try to open up and I get shut out each time. It really never fails. I’m crying while I write this because it hurts just that much. It feels like I have to keep my feelings in and not share. I have a journal but having a actual person would be a blessing. Someone to call me just to see how I am doing someone to just genuinely be there. I just need advice on moving on.
Ss
Hey! Sorry you feel this way. I can’t really offer any advice as i don’t know what it is you post but it seems a bit off that a support group isnt being… well .. supportive.
All you can do is keep putting yourself out there and maybe try some therapy to work on your self esteem? You seem low and perhaps that comes across to others.
Sending you rather inadequate internet hugs xx
T
Hello! I’m so sorry to hear that. I used to be like that too, I would be part of a ‘group’ but still get ignored while others don’t. But let me tell you something I’ve learnt, don’t over think why- to be honest with you, some people just don’t care. And it’s definitely not you! You simply haven’t found like-minded people to share things with. What is important is to have a strong mindset to not let it get to you. This is extremely hard to learn in my opinion and it took me years to learn. I also agree with Ss, support groups are supposed to be supportive but definitely don’t let this make you lose hope!
When I was feeling left out and don’t belong, I learned to spend time with myself. This means doing things I like on my own e.g. painting, studying, trying out new coffee shops. I didn’t really like to join clubs or social events (e.g parties) so I simply didn’t go. But that didn’t mean I don’t try to make friends, I still reached out to people and tried to make friends by asking them out to coffee or movie. It wasn’t until only three years ago I took the initiative and asked if I could join this group of girls for lunch from my college class and they are my best friends now. To date, I still get so exhausted after a social event but I still try my best to enjoy and not over think.
Just make sure you approach and go into this with an optimistic mindset and if a friendship doesn’t work out, it’s all good. I’ve seen people lose hope and got so sad over this that it made them lose even more people that cared. So managing your mental health and minset is key here! I really hope this helps, private message me if you need more advice xx
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