Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Different interpretations of the past
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Haha.
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Haha
So I went out with a guy 3-4 times over the summer. He was fun and I was starting to like him some as time went on but there was more of a friendly spark than anything else. After the last time we hung out I sent him a text saying “thanks for a great night.” And then never texted him again. It just wasn’t something I thought I wanted to pursue romantically. And he didn’t text me either so I figured we were on the same page and no harm no foul. Fast forward to about two months ago when he added me on Facebook. Again – nice guy, no drama so no hard feelings. I accepted. He started messaging me here and there re random things and we engage but nothing serious. Yesterday he sent me a message totally out of nowhere about the inauguration and how we should hang out and watch it together? I kind of ignored the question and only addressed the rest of his message bc I still have no interest in any sort of romantic connection. But then today out of nowhere totally off topic he messaged me “sorry for ghosting you over the summer – I feel really bad about that and I don’t know why I did it.” Errrrm … what? I honestly didn’t know how to respond so I just said something to the effect of “no worries” and then he again referenced hanging out sometime. I didn’t think anyone ghosted anyone here? I certainly didn’t feel ghosted – his comment threw me off! Weird, right?
Newbie
I dont understand your issue unless you did feel a bit ghosted and now dont want to look like you were the ghosted one.
If you didnt feel ghosted you could have said: i wasnt feeling it either so no worries. (Snarky), i didnt notice you were gone (a bit on the passive aggresive side), i talked to a few guys that summer so i was busy but nice of you to check in now, or:
If you dont even know why you stopped talking why bother me with this apology.
Or what you said.
Anyway i would not pay attention.Newbie
My point is: if you really have no interest in him then there isnt reason to powerplay or understand his reasoning. Clearly he did feel he was backing of as he never replied to thanks for a great night. What was that great night anyway? Did it involve sex? If it did and he disappeared after that, i think you do have a right to be angry about it and feel ghosted. Because we can all look like cool girls that now sex without commitment doesnt have to progress to more, but getting left in the cold is still a rotten thing to do
T from NY
Also. If it’s one thing ghosters do – they ghost. So deal with this dude with caution. You didn’t catch feelings then you say, you don’t have feelings now you say (although you’re writing to us – so you care a little bit) but who knows what can happen if you did hang out? The heart is a mysterious and uncontrollable thing. Beware of yours with him.
Haha
Oh yes I completely understand and agree with all of the points made above (thanks for taking the time to read and comment.) No sex with this guy – it really wasn’t like that. We met for a few beers and watched a football game at a nearby bar. He picked up the tab so I felt compelled to send the “thank you” text. The whole thing just got me thinking – I wonder how many other guys think they ghosted me in situations where I just assumed things fizzled out/that is was a mutual parting of ways. It just caught me off guard I suppose. He’s really not my type (and actually funnily enough I had forgotten we were even Facebook friends until he messaged me recently bc he posts ad NAUSEAM and it was annoying so I removed him from my newsfeed lol!)
Newbie
I know exactly how you feel when you really didnt think much about it. I dated sort of, years ago, and remember a guy i had a short convo with blocking me the next day. I was actually insulted like: you think youre such a great catch huh. Lol
So Yeah some have huge ego’s. I can be pretty mean but most sane people here would tell you to leave it aloneNewbie
Dude is clearly bored atm lol
Haha
DEFINITELY! As soon as I realized the direction that convo was taking I responded kindly and went back to work. But you’re SO right! A part of me was like “errrrrm .. really, guy? We’re good” lol. It’s just so funny to me how two people experiencing the exact same experience can view it so differently. Anyway, thanks again for reading and commenting. Happy New Year to you as well!
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