Depressed Ex extremely happy only a week after breakup


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Anderson 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #791650 Reply

    M

    A week and a half ago, my ex broke up with me due to her depression and anxiety. She claimed she loved me, still cared about, and said we could maybe even get back together again but needed to figure things by herself and needed space. This came after a dramatic personality shift 2 weeks prior. I was heartbroken, as I myself suffer with the same mental issues. After she made a depressing social media post the next night, I reached out to her to let her know I was there, that I understood she needed space, and did my best to be supportive and let her know she wasn’t alone. She thanked me and said it meant a lot. During this time period, she’s kept in contact with me on and off on snapchat. A week after our break up, she started posting things on her socials saying preaching self love, and yesterday saying she’s “the happiest she’s ever been.” I’m really happy for her, but at the same time heartbroken. I’m terrified she’s going to move on with another guy and see me as the cause of her depression despite how much she said she cared about me before. When she’s been contacting me on snapchat, she never sends texts, only barely visible pics of her face or the room. She’s so distant and it feels like she’s gotten over me so fast. I don’t know what to do, I cared about this girl so much and she seemed to care about me so much before. Is this normal, and is there any hope we could get back together? And if so, how? I’m just so confused and hurt right now. Thank you.

    #791651 Reply

    Jen123

    “Is this normal, and is there any hope we could get back together? And if so, how? I’m just so confused and hurt right now. Thank you.”

    I don’t know whether the two of you will get back together but I don’t think there’s a “normal” when it comes to processing a break-up.

    I think each person handles it differently and I also think it depends on several factors.

    My longest relationship I put forth so much emotional effort trying to maintain it that I just reached a breaking point and afterwards I was relieved it was over.

    Whereas another relationship I was very disappointed when it ended but I had to put on a brave face and find ways to distract myself otherwise I would become very sad.

    So, it’s different for everyone.

    #791652 Reply

    Paige

    I just want to throw this out there:

    You mentioned “mental issues” in your post.

    I’m not sure if you mean a diagnosed illness or just feeling down and anxious, but in case you DO mean a diagnosed illness, she might be entering a manic state if she has bipolar disorder – especially if she has stopped taking her medication for some reason.

    Other than that,I agree with Jenn123: Everyone handles a breakup differently.

    However, I think you should lower your expectations of “getting back together” and try to be happy for her when she finds another lover, because from your description of your interactions with her, I don’t think that you’re ever going to have the same relationship with her that you’ve had in the past.

    #791653 Reply

    Anderson

    Staying in touch after a breakup is often at someone’s expense.

    You seem like a nice person but that’s hurting you more rn. Being broken up with is a kick in the gut as it is, on top of that you are reaching out to her if she needs anything. That’s two reasons why it’s not surprising she seems happy (putting a pin in whether she truly even is).

    I understand the urge, mind you. Genuinely caring or being attached to someone can’t stop suddenly. I wouldn’t be surprised if my ex thinks I was a scumbag that didnt truly care for her because I changed and never checked up on her after our breakup and therefore didnt care. But the truth is I cared too much, even after the breakup, and something I tried hard to put an end to.

    There’s always a chance to get back together with an ex. But if you give in to revolving your life around it post-breakup you’re going to make yourself incredibly miserable and likely even hurt your chances.

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