Dating and Poor Self Image/Weight


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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eva 5 days, 15 hours ago.

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  • #930593 Reply

    Clementine

    Hello,
    I’ve been back in the dating world now for a few years but I took a break when Covid happened and only recently started to get back into it. I gained a decent amount of weight during Covid and already had a few pounds to lose so while Covid kept me from dating new people and using the apps I would be lying if I said I didn’t find some relief in taking a break due to feeling self conscience. Anyway, I’ve recently lost 45 pounds or so and am much happier with my body but I still have another 20 to go until I’m in my healthy BMI. I met a guy recently and, despite my weight loss successes, I couldn’t even focus on the meeting or getting ready because all I could think about was that he would meet me and think I was too heavy for him. I know I have come a long way but I also know I’m not yet in my healthy weight range so with that lingering in the back of my mind: should I wait to date? I am usually a pretty confident person, even when I had a little extra weight pre-Covid but with recently getting back into the dating world all I can think about is how the guy will see me and how my extra 20 pounds will impact any potential relationship (and yes I sent a full body picture before I met the recent guy.) Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Do you have an advice to give about this? Thank you for reading my post.

    #930597 Reply

    Raven

    Every one put on the Covid 20… Have Fun!

    #930602 Reply

    Maddie

    As long as your photos are up to date and accurately represent you, there shouldn’t be a problem. Instead of assuming the worst, assume that if he didn’t already like what he saw then he wouldn’t be interested in meeting up. Since you’re meeting up, he’s into it. Try not to worry about it past that.

    It may help to remember that you’re both (hopefully) going there open to meeting someone new and looking to have a good time and check out if it’s a good match. He’s not heading out on a date hoping you’ll suck so that he can be hypercritical and judgemental. If he is those things, then he sucks, so you have nothing to lose.

    Raven also makes a good point. People looking different than they did before covid is pretty typical. But he didn’t know you then anyway, so if you feel good about yourself when you arrive (and match your looks in your recent photos), he won’t even think about it.

    Have fun!

    #930636 Reply

    Eva

    That decision is fully up to you. If your anxiety is leading to self-sabotage then it’s better to wait. But the issue is only in your mind, provided you have up to date full body pictures in your profile (which you say you do). In that case no guy should be disappointed. People are aware that people mostly have pre-covid photos, because frankly there was not that much photograph-worthy going on since then, so everyone rational expects people to look slightly different, but if difference is noticeable, it should be documented.
    If your photos are honest, guys know what you’re signing up for.
    Keep up working on your body, you’re doing a good job!

    ps. there’s a small tip if you use apps- you might want to start a new account once you hit the desired weight, to have a better ranking, as it takes too long to override old ranking

    #930637 Reply

    Eva

    *guys know what they’re signing up for

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