This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Shoshannah 8 months, 4 weeks ago.
October 15, 2019 at 7:02 am #775548
My bf and i had a really ugly fight last week. I didn’t believe him about some of the things he was claiming and he said we’d talk the next day.
As he works all day and didn’t text me as he said he would. I realized the next day that he blocked me on all social media and he blocked my number and said to myself that he needs time to work and he’ll text me during the weekend, but he didn’t.
I did try to reach out to him until the weekend because i didn’t even know what was happening. I texted him from my friend’s phone on Whatsapp to explain to me at least if and why we are over and he just blocked that number too.
We have been long distance and he did break up with me once before but he explained why he couldn’t be with me anymore, that it was too much for him etc. So that’s why i’m so confused or not being able to understand that it’s really over.
Why would he just block me after saying we’d talk about things? And as i already know the answer to this question deep down: are we over?October 15, 2019 at 7:11 am #775549
I know you feel blindsided but honestly ask yourself why you want to be in a toxic relationship? What is it about *you* that allows for this kind of treatment and bad behavior from men? What I do know is that if a man, or anyone, did this to me I would be gone forever by blocking them back, irregardless of how long I’ve known them!
Don’t ever be a doormat, someone who allows men (or people in general) to wipe their feet on you, treat you badly, and think its “OK.” Its not OK, its not right, and those are the kinds of people you need to excise from your life.
I know it hurts and stings but how many times do you want keep being stung? It needs to be over with YOU, tell him “F you, this is how a pussy deals with problems and I don’t need that crap in my life!” Get mad, not sad!October 15, 2019 at 12:32 pm #775578
It’s possible that you angered him so much that he’s not ready to face you. He’s blocking you because he doesn’t want to say something he’d regret.October 15, 2019 at 1:53 pm #775585
We need a lot more information on the fight and what you did not trust him on. His response is terrible, but more context is needed.October 15, 2019 at 2:27 pm #775587
Yeah block him back and move on. Dont accept this behaviour. If he didn’t want to be with you, he could have told you. Theres a nicer way, to do bad things.
Honestly, block him back and move onOctober 15, 2019 at 11:26 pm #775622
It’s you not me
If he wanted to be with you he would be. It wouldn’t be this complicated. There would be more of an effort and actually want to SEE you and spend time FACE TO FACE with you.
You have a big heart and you’re so forgiving. Sometimes it’s just better to forgive him and let him go since that is what he wanted in the first place.October 16, 2019 at 4:04 am #775626
Lane: thank you for those kind words
LJ: i thought about that too, but it’s been 6 days and still no answer and i tried reaching out to him so many times…
Tallspicy: well we’ve been together for 3 months and we live in different countries, we met when i was studying abroad, stayed in contact and got together. He had money issues so i lend him some. I did trust him with the money at the time, he came to my country, met my parents and all that, but i never met his family, even when i came to visit him, we weren’t at his home. We were talking about moving in together, to a different country. 3 weeks ago he was supposed to send me back the money, but it never came, so last week he went to the bank again to do the transfer. The problem was that he is supposedly working all day and didn’t text me for the whole day, i say he was ignoring me. So yeah he supposedly goes to the bank last week, asks me for my acc info and i tell it to him, also tell him to text me when he’s done, that i need to call him. He didn’t. I texted him around 5 times and called him and nothing. So i wake up in the middle of the night and wake him up as well. I told him i don’t believe him half the stuff he’s been telling me, that i want a receipt of the transfer, etc. just some proof that he was really doing what he said he was, because up to this point all i had was his words and he was acting shady. So he tells me that we’re gonna talk about it the next day, he was really pissed that i woke him up in the middle of the night. The next day i realized that he blocked me. That’s the short version,but i think those are the important parts.
So i don’t know if it was about the money, about the fact that when i confronted him to give me some proof of his words, he blocks me because he doesn’t have any proof. Or it was because i pissed him off so much, he wanted to hurt me so bad to just block me. Either he’s such a good actor that he was able to plan a future with me, meet my parents, be goofy and in love with me, even after he got the money or he’s just so done with me. I believe he’d block me the minute he got the money, if it was just about that.
J: i agree, but it’s so much easier to say that than to do it. I cry all the time, can’t sleep, eat, he really broke me and i just want an epilogue to this at the very least.
It’s you not me: you’re right. He would at least reach out to me in this time…October 16, 2019 at 6:41 am #775628
Girl what a mess. Why on earth are you letting a man you’re only dating for three months money? And why on earth are you long distance? Honestly I think this guy was never going to pay you back and when pushed he just exited. This is not a hymn problem this is a huge problem. Do not date men who asked for money. And best not to do long distance. You only knew this guy for three months, where are your boundaries?October 16, 2019 at 6:42 am #775629
Oops, loaning, not lettingOctober 16, 2019 at 6:45 am #775631
Quote: I believe he’d block me the minute he got the money, if it was just about that.
Of course, he would block you the minute, but likely it isn’t the main purpose of his behavior. It already doesn’t matter.
Just try to found a new boyfriend. Even if he texts you in a month and returns your money – just take them and forget him. I wish you would clever enough to forget him forever. Are you not deserve his attention? – He doesn’t deserve you.October 16, 2019 at 7:20 am #775632
OK, this is a major YOU problem! This was a hard life lesson for you and I’m going to impart some advise: You never, and I mean never, loan money to that you cannot afford to get back! Always, and I mean always assume you will never get it back because humans are inherently selfish and self serving, its the hard cold truth.
This man was a trail of broken promises. You were so desperate to be loved you put on a big old pair of blindfolds and latched onto a big old lemon! YOU (key word) did something really stupid by giving a man you hardly knew $$$. You only give $$$ to a HUSBAND, or someone you can fully trust to repay back because you’ve known them for a very long time and can fully trust they will pay you back.
These lessons in life are done to prevent you from making the same mistake over, and over, and over. Again, if your OK with losing $$$ then give it to then, like you did with him, as “a loan” is a written contract between the parties, clearly describing the amount “loaned;” terms of repayment, with a date and signatures for legal purposes. If they fail to pay it, then you take them to court. Next time you “loan” money, follow the legal rules, and if you can’t take them to your local court then don’t give away your money.October 16, 2019 at 11:45 pm #775679
That is human being for you but what he had done for you, I don’t think u deserve that if he loves u as you think.So my say is that,for now, try being with your friends so as to quickly forget the idiot. You will be well but just a matter of time.The worst he could have done was to neglect all your messages rather than block you.So dear, forget about her and move on with your life.October 17, 2019 at 8:07 pm #775710
It could be a few things going on here.
1) He feels smothered that just because you lend him that money, you’re now on his case for it back and even want proof that he is doing it. And now the lovey dovey momentum between you has turned sour because lending money rarely creates a good bond. He is pressured and blocked you for some peace and quiet.
2)He was never going to give it back to you in the first place. He pretty much scammed you. Three months together, plus being long distance it’s crazy to make such transactions because a person can easily get away with it. Never do this, especially if it’s a big sum.
Stop finding ways to contact him and see if he reaches out after a few days. If he doesn’t consider this money and “relationship” gone.October 18, 2019 at 9:12 am #775732
He wouldn’t have necessarily blocked you the minute he got the money, because maybe he was counting for more money in the future. Or that you won’t want it back any time soon, in which case he would still enjoy the sex and your company (you can enjoy this too, even if you’re in it mostly for money). This is a horrible story and I’m very sorry for you. Not only your lover is gone, but your money too, and you probably feel terribly used and duped. He sounds like a giant ass too, I mean this is just ridiculous, the minute he is asked for money back, he blocks you, wtf. I never thought about such an easy way to get rich – borrow money from people who live abroad and as soon as they want it back, disappear from their lives… what a business! It was probably because you confronted him, but someone with any stability or just intelligence, would at least tell you ‘I’m sorry, I actually don’t have it at the moment’. Learn the lesson – don’t be that easy to trust people, be careful with long distance, don’t give your money away unless for charity.