Am I too sensitive to his respond?

Yes, you’re being too sensitive…

What kind of date did you do on where you didn’t chat?

Maybe you need someone who has the time to date?

Two dates in 1 month is low interest, I’m sorry to say. Especially if one of the dates was “rushed” and you didn’t have time to chat (what did you do on the date if you couldn’t talk?)

He has time to message you, but not meet you for a meal or a coffee or a drink? I agree with Stephanie in that regard, he should be wanting to see you and chat with you in person, not just message.

I don’t believe he has such a “busy schedule” that he can’t see you more than once every couple of weeks. He eats dinner every night, doesn’t he? He could invite you for a meal. Or if he really IS that busy, he should not be dating.

I don’t think you’re sensitive per se. I think you want to date a guy who has time for you, wants to get to know you, and prioritizes you. This guy ain’t it.

He took me to a movie date and afterwards dropped me home. We didn’t get to talk much and it was only until he got home that he texted me asking if I like the movie.

I do want to meet up more often but he always seem tired and when he plan to do something with me, he would say he will let me know but that usually take about 1-2 weeks before we meet. He would video call me nearly every night just to chat. I don’t believe he can be so busy and tired that he can’t meet up once a week for dinner, but it make me feel like I’m too demanding asking him to meet when he already told me his tired and drain from work.

I’m keep getting mix signals and not sure how to interpret them. He told me his interested in me, but don’t seem to stay long when we do meet up. He never said he like me, I’m not sure if I should take the lead and tell him I like him first. I’m not sure if being interested and like are the same thing or not.

A guy who is interested in you & wants a relationship makes it clear. He will not leave you wondering. He will ask to see you regularly. You won’t feel “demanding” for wanting to see him. He won’t constantly be “too tired” to see you. When I met my bf he had a stressful job working 50+ hours a week (he got up at 5 am for work every day), and he has a son so he had his parenting responsibilities, and he still made time to take me out 1-2 times a week. He was never, ever “too tired” to see me.

It sounds like this guy likes your attention but does not want to start a relationship, like Maddie said. I’m sure he enjoys your texts and video calls. He probably is flattered by the attention. There are lot of guys out there who will waste your time endlessly texting/calling but don’t want to make the effort to build a relationship. It sounds like he’s one of them.

Lucy, I have found if a guy comes on really hard and strong right from the beginning and you are responsive to him but indicate that you want to take your time / slow down a little, if he can’t respect that and it causes him to quickly lose interest then he’s looking for fantasy sparks and chemistry and not a solid relationship anyway. And the proper response to hearing that on his side isn’t for him to get difficult about seeing you or make you feel like a burden, it’s to stay consistent as he continues to contact you, even if he contacts you a bit less to respect you and allows you to set the slower speed for dates. (I’ve even had guys take my wanting a different speed as rejection when it wasn’t and get all out nasty to me, meaning I dodged a very immature and entitled bullet!)

Honestly, when I was younger though, I’d sometimes do the same thing as an over-eager guy might do. If the guy I was interested in wasn’t immediately full speed ahead too and wanted to take a bit of time to actually get to me better, I wouldn’t take him at his word, I wouldn’t believe his interest, and I’d either push harder or get scared off. That was my *own* insecurities and my own problem and it was because I actually wasn’t ready for a healthy relationship and thought it all needed to be chemistry-based! It was really all about me, not the other person. So don’t blame yourself here, think about different perspectives.

At this point, you can try telling him that if you weren’t clear about what works best for you in early dating, you’d enjoy seeing him once a week. If he gives excuses or makes you feel weird about it in any way, he’s not looking for a real or mature relationship with you. I think since you’ve only met him twice, this isn’t really even dating yet and isn’t worth it if he’s already causing you confusion and anguish. But if you truly believe you miscommunicated at one point, then don’t blame yourself, instead just speak up. I don’t think you did miscommunicate, though, I still think it’s incompatibility and him not being too serious.

Again, some version of asking for what you want, not blaming yourself, and leaving if the situation doesn’t meet your needs is back to the solid initial advice from T.

@Maddie What you said make a lot of sense, I do feel like we’re both not compatible or he just doesn’t like me romantically. He also been telling me he want to take things slow as well, but I feel his version of slow is low interest since he make me feel more like we’re friends than potential partner.

I feel that every time I doubt about his feelings for me since he doesn’t really express it, he would randomly say stuff like, “Just so you know I am still interested and keen, sorry if I haven’t been able to see you as much as I would like”. I make me want to give him more chances to show himself.

It might be stupid of me to ask this, but when a guy serious about wanting to get to know a girl and serious about wanting a relationship. Do they often say it straight up? For example, “I’m looking for a relationship and I want to get to know you to see where its lead”, something along those line?

This guy I’m seeing told me at the beginning he is looking for a relationship and just trying to find the right girl. But he didn’t really implying he hope its me or he want to see if I could be the one.

@ Liz Lemon, I feel like his dating me because his enjoy my company, our constant texting everyday and video calling at night. I also enjoy it but i feel it starting to get a bit boring for me, like there is no excitement in our conversation.

I know he been out of a long serious relationship for 5years now and only been dating, told he he still haven’t found the one yet. 3 months before he ask me out, he was dating someone else. I thought he was serious about looking for a relationship since he haven’t been in a serious relationship for so long.

I actually went out to dinner with him yesterday. It was nice he took me out to his favourite restaurant and pay for everything, I did offer but he said no. I still don’t know how I feel even though dinner was good, he constantly observing me and pouring water for me, which I find was thoughtful. We talk and laugh but I still feel a distance. As we were walking back to the car he would tell me that he like to take things slow cause of his past experiences, I just agree and said I understand. He didn’t make any moves on me and when he drop me off I gave him a hug but it felt a bit awkward since I don’t know how he feel and didn’t feel like he properly hug me back. Maybe he was shocked that I hugged him. Afterward he did msg and say he had a good night and that he want me to know he still interested in me.

I don’t even know what to do next. If he really not interested in a relationship with me, but just want company then he is doing a great job of keeping me around.

Question: do you even like this guy? You talk about distance, mixed signals, confusion, feeling like just a friend, and things getting boring. You clearly are looking to be in a relationship with someone, but don’t you want it to be someone you like and feel comfortable with and good around? You seem much more concerned with how he does or doesn’t feel about you and winning him over, and like you haven’t asked yourself if you want to be with HIM. Your posts sound more like you want to be with somebody.

Do men ever say “I’m looking for a relationship and I want to get to know you to see where its lead”…. it depends. Some do. My boyfriend did, but he was also very ready to get married if he found the right person. Liz is right that many men will not. They may not know themselves so well or they just like spending time with different women and having fun or they are looking to be wowed by the right woman. So they will not say something like this and mean it, but it definitely makes things much easier if someone knows they are ready and doesn’t play any games. I had to get very mature and confident in dating to be able to also be so direct in saying what I was looking for, and I could not do that until I was older. Most men I’ve met who have been this direct and who are actually honest about it are older, too. So I do not think you can count on most people to do this and make things so easy for you, but if you find one who says this AND their actions match, you will recognize that it is someone mature who will be serious and you will know to give them good consideration.

At the beginning I wasn’t attracted or interested in him, but after texting for a while it seem we have similar values and he seem really nice. So I decided to go on a date to see what his like in person. Before the date I thought he have a lot of potential to be a good partner and hope that I can like him and eventually fall in love. The date was good but I feel there wasn’t much chemistry between us. It didn’t help when he brought up how he had a really deep connection with one of the girl he dated 2 years ago. It kinda put me off a bit but I try to not let it bother me.

I am looking for a relationship and really want to find someone that I can connect with. My ex cheated on me, so I think I just want to find a good guy who won’t ever do that and this guy seem like a gentleman and his ex also cheated on him so he would never do that to someone else. He have good morals and respect women, I like that about him.

I think I am trying to connect with him and want to like him more but I am frustrated that his not giving me anything to work with when he want to take things slow and not showing that his interested in me romantically. I’m hoping that in time our feelings can grow more.

I have try and cut down the video calling. We still text everyday and it does feel nice that he still make effort to text me. He did suggest let’s go to see another movie and even send me the trailer for it. I said it looks good and let’s go. He said ok let see what he can do, but haven’t heard anything about it since.