Advice on an almost relationship

After 3 months, you reaching out shouldn’t be an annoyance, so do not think of yourself that way. He was being sketchy and not communicating with you. He’s shown his true character to you now, and continuing to pursue him will be a waste of your time. Amazing relationships that are progressing don’t involve future faking (making vacation plans) while quietly resuming dating other people and only telling you anything at all BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT. This isn’t a sad ending, it’s lucky you learned who he really is and that he wasn’t actually committed before you got more invested.

No answer for 2 weeks is an answer I’m afraid. For some reason or another he’s decided not to pursue things further with you. I’d just leave it be and move on with your life.

It’s happened to me before where a guy has just ghosted me like that. He’s doing you a favour really. At least you don’t have to waste more time with someone who has clearly told you that they’re not sure they want to commit to anything. If you’re after a long term commited relationship this guy probably isn’t for you anyway.

What Maddie & Raven said. Also for what it’s worth I don’t think it’s acceptable at all that he straight up ghosted after 3 months of dating, especially if it really was dating and as often during that time as you said.

Also let me ask you this- what on earth good, at all, do you think will come from you being with him again? He’s already ghosted you and put himself on the market behind your back. Two red flags. One of my favorite sayings is if someone rejects you, the only thing worse than that would be you giving them that chance to do that TWICE. Tough love but major food for thought for me, hope it does the same for you.

Best of luck and definitely work on building up your own self-worth. “I don’t want to bug or annoy him” is literally not a thought I generate anymore- used to be, so I totally get where you’re coming from, but that was like another life ago. You can get there too! Personal power, do not let men just dictate how every future relationship with you goes. (Apols for grammar.)

When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!

Sorry you are dealing with this. Don’t reach out to him. It’s over and time for you to heal and move on.

I’ve never been ghosted because I didn’t give much of my time to a man who was not my BF. If they dropped out (stopped asking to see me), so be it, because I was still meeting, talking to, and hanging out with other single guys, so it was one less I guy I had to spend time with haha. Unless we were “going steady” (term we used back in my day), then I was single and continued to meet, talk to, and hang out with other guys.

Thankfully my father taught me to do this when I was around 17 where he told me, if a guy isn’t pursuing you, he doesn’t have those feelings. He was right! I tried the chasing thing when I was crushing on a guy who wasn’t crushing on me and it failed badly. Interestingly, when I did nothing and let the guys do all the work, it became glaringly clear its how the mating (aka dating) game works.

The only answer you need to know is that he was unable to develop the level of feelings he needs to feel in order to continue, no differently than you are unable to develop the level of feelings you need in order to even date or continue seeing a guy—its really that simple.

It would be a futile waste of your time and energy chasing Mr. I don’t love you v. spending your time and energy meeting Mr. I’m In Love with You. He is out there, you just haven’t met him yet. You may have to go through a few more Mr. Infatuation or Mr. I’m not ready types before you do but you will meet him eventually. This is how you attain closure—knowing the right man for you is still out there waiting to meet you :o)