17 Younger and Gorgeous Room mate

I know – I was addressed by him as psycho and he now set in private his so public Instagram account and changed his alias there. Yes I will find a new bf as I discovered that the gorgeous 17 years younger than him chick is his room mate since 2019! They do things together on long weekends and weekends with photos and sweet messages from my bf. He was in denial and pissed to me today that I should leave his friends out of this. However, I have strong and reasonable evidences that he is lying. He has not yet deleted me on WhatsApp even if I already deleted him a few days ago. So shady.

I’ve had male roommates that I’ve also been close friends with (one is indeed like an older brother) and absolutely nothing more was going on on either side. However, in those situations there were never any rules against bringing a date or significant other over or having them meet! That part is very strange and seems suspicious.

Walking away from the bf was the right move. But I don’t think you needed to reach out to the roommate. The problem was between you and your bf. You were not comfortable with how he was treating you. That’s on HIM, not her. So even if he told the truth and nothing was going on between them, it doesn’t matter: he wasn’t showing up for you the way that you wanted and he wasn’t taking your concerns and needs seriously. HE chose not to let you over and not to connect to you on social media and not to see you on weekends. He’s a grown man so those are his choices and really had nothing to do with her. You don’t say how long you were dating, but if he was officially your boyfriend, then you certainly had every reason to end things with him for not taking you seriously enough.

You’re not psycho for being suspicious when he was acting shady and doing very little to make you feel secure in the relationship. But even though writing her may not have been “psycho,” it was not a good option either. Once you reached out to her, if it was true they’re just friends then he was going to feel like you don’t trust him — and get mad. Or he lied and they are more than friends (or at least he wants to be) and then he was going to be upset you were on to him cheating and probably still deny it anyway — and get mad. So emailing her was a no-win situation for you and wasn’t going to fix the problems or make things okay between you and that guy.

You’ve learned more about what you want though (which is to not get involved with someone who is in a living situation you’re not comfortable with, or with someone who doesn’t prioritize you once you’re the gf!) and it doesn’t sound like you lost out on a great man here. Even if he was telling you the truth, he wasn’t a good lifestyle match for you. Plus, I also think it’s weird he spends soooo much time with a friend that much younger. That is a huge gap and would be like me spending all my time with a student who wasn’t even old enough to drink! I don’t think it says anything good about his maturity level lol.

FWIW, my money is on they actually are “just friends” and he’s telling the truth… but ONLY because he wants more and is hoping one day if he orbits her long enough and he does enough stuff for her, she’ll stop shutting him down. Be glad you’re leaving a messy situation behind, and look for a trustworthy guy who respects you. You’ll find someone better next time!