hurt by words

I am looking for some advice or perspective.

The other day the guy I am with/seeing made a comment and I’m finding it hard to shake.

We were somewhere and someone kept taking our picture. I said it was probably for their business, for advertisement. I was enjoying it because it was our first photos together and I was happy to have some. He said, “We’re not really the type, we’re not photogenic enough for ads,” or something like that.

He said it like it was nothing but it really hurt me immediately and hard. All I heard was him saying he doesn’t think I’m attractive. Meanwhile I have always thought I’m very photogenic. (I’m not as young as I used to be, when I was younger I could never take a bad picture. I have never minded a camera.)

I told him he hurt my feelings and he said he didn’t mean it that way, said “I mainly meant me.” Then made some comment about how he meant “ads are mostly for actors” and “we’re just normal people.”

I asked him later if he thinks I’m pretty and he said “I think that should be clear by now.”

I have tried moving on from the comment but I can’t help but feel like he doesn’t think I’m beautiful and how can I move past that to be vulnerable and naked and intimate? I know I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world but i’m happy with myself and maybe feel like my lover should find me beautiful. Like no matter who you are or what you look like your lover should think you’re beautiful.

I’m just finding it hard to not still feel hurt. I can’t tell if it’s him being insensitive, him really not finding me beautiful, or if it’s insecurity in me that would pop up regardless with anyone.