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- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by
anon.
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Serenity
Do you think that a 14 year age difference is too much for a relationship? Could you see a 28 year old being able have a relationship with a 42 year old man? The man has never been married before and has no kids, but he’s probably a lot more “experienced” than the woman as far as relationships go, which might kind of make the woman feel akward. But if the guy was nice, looked 10 years younger than he really is, and you had a lot in common with him, would you say go for it or not
K
Yes. Until you get to really know a person, a long term relationship is unknown. Just go with the flow if it feels right in the moment.
Age is a chronological number, it doesn’t always reflect compatibility or where people are in their lives and what they want. Besides, he looks younger, so you don’t have to worry about too many people judging. Less stress to start off. There is a lot each person can learn in this scenario. He is likely emotionally mature, but there is only one way to find out!
Do what you want to and stay safe :) Open communication without judgement is key I find.
Raven
Past long term relationships?
Anderson
42/2 + 7 = 28. So you’re obviously fine.
Jokes aside, it’s a difference in life stage or immediate goals that’s a bigger problem than age. If you have that in common you shouldn’t worry about it.
Liz Lemon
Like Raven said, what is his relationship history?
If he is a 42 year old man who’s never had a serious long term relationship (not being married is fine, but has he had serious relationships?) I would be more concerned about what that could indicate, rather than the age gap.
The age gap itself isn’t a big deal if you have similar interests and life goals. Assuming he’s had other relationships– yeah he might be “more experienced”, but there are plenty of happy couples that are close in age, where one partner has more relationship experience than the other. That doesn’t really matter as long as he treats you well and you’re happy together. So I would say go for it, in that case.
Lane
I would not assume he’s experienced, especially if he’s 42, and has never been married. It truly depends on compatibility, having the same goals and desires, and you get along really well.
Not saying its automatically a red flag, as sometimes one’s career can make it difficult to settle down, however I would definitely want to explore this further, as he could very well not be experienced at all, which may have to do with a personality issue.
I knew a guy who was handsome, well established in his career but his personality was sorely lacking to the point all the wives (our husbands worked with him) agreed he was going to be single for life because of it lol. Some men just don’t have the proper social cues, are overly quirky/odd (like the one I mentioned), too clownish/childish, to be taken seriously and are repeatedly rejected. Not saying he’s one of them but he could be?
Newbie
When i was your age i had lovers around 44 and tjey were horrible at it. Could have been me too though being insecure. But anyway 14 years is doable, its more about sharing the same interests and goals in life. The guys i dated back then were settled and one was really wealthy but that didnt suit me at all since i wanted to travel and explore.
So its not about the numbers but about what you wanths
I dont do huge age gaps. There may not be much of a difference between 28 and 42, but wait till it becomes 51 vs 65. You’ll never be in the same life stage. You may want to have children, but will he when he’ll be 70 when the child finishes varsity? You may want to still go out and have fun when he needs to wake up early for his career. And one day when you retire, and want to travel the world with him, he’ll be 80 or dead. So a definate no from me
And not having been in a committed relationship at 42 is a huge issue. I myself are 43. And i can tell you, all men in their 40’s wants the prettiest youngest showpiece, but they’ll never commit.
anon
” it’s a difference in life stage or immediate goals that’s a bigger problem than age.”
This is true. I am a woman, mid 40’s, and my most satisfying relationships are guys who are late 20’s early 30’s. Any older, and I end up dating dads (being childless, this leads to a disconnect), guys looking to start families OR men who are beginning a health decline.
For the guys, I am very active and fit, enjoy travel, not too hung up on needing lots of attention and not looking for commitment. It works out really well, and we have a lot of fun.Long term, it won’t work- they will want families.
For you- this guy may be looking to start a family (if you are as well) and it could work out great long term. That said, single 40 something men are a complex bunch. You have garden variety divorcees who may or may not have time to date, and often carry baggage from divorce. Make sure these guys like YOU not just the idea of sticking it to their ex by dating a younger woman. Then you have the “perpetually single” 40 somethings- some just can’t commit, and some just never had time due to building a career. The “worked to build a career” guys can be an excellent match for someone like you, as they may just be ready to settle down.
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