Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › What to expect from my ex-girlfriend?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
Rebekah.
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iron606
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up three months ago after five and the half years of relationship. We are both in our forties. She found another guy and dumped me. She forced me to move out from our mutual apartment.
During this last three months, those beautiful moments we had were all over my mind, more or less every day, and I feel regret that she has left me. But I managed to move on and worked a lot to improve myself and I made a progress.
But at the same time I kept calling her to come and visit me in my new apartment.
And then, last Friday she came to my apartment, we had a good time and we had sex. She stayed overnight. Yesterday she came again and we had a really good and passionate sex. But all the time she was telling me that she is satisfied with the new guy and that she is going to stay in the new relationship. When I asked her for the reason, she said that he treats her good, he is funny and that she is in a way taking advantage of him (something like he is paying for all the food). When I told her that I’m seeing someone else too, she started to cry and she said that she likes me the way I am now and that she feels regret I was not like that before when we were together. I told her that she can leave him and that we can try something again, but she categorically refused that. She said that she wants to be with him and maybe one day in the future, who knows, we are going to be together again, but not now.
I’m also sure that she came to me and cheated on him, because she doesn’t care about him at all. But she said that is not the truth and that she fell in love with him.
I was quite fine, but now I feel distressed almost like three months ago. So this just brought me harm.
So why did she come to be with me? Does she really know what she wants? Who does she love?
Raven
Maybe if you start buying all of the food things will work out…
Maddie
You really want to stay long-term with a woman who dumped you for someone else (which implies they hooked up before you split), then cheated on him with you, then says she cares about you both when her actions indicate she loves / cares about neither? She’ll keep cheating on whoever she’s with because, why not? She’s definitely not interested in attending to her own deep issues and admits to using people. So, why don’t you feel you deserve better?
So many more questions you can ask yourself, too. Why are you sabotaging things with the new woman? And why are you trying to date someone else when you’re on the rebound and asking your ex to come over?
If you seriously want to feel better, block the ex, stop dating for a while, and get your own affairs in order. You’re currently inviting the drama you’re experiencing by thinking so poorly of yourself that you’ll accept the crumbs from a woman who has zero respect for you…. while completely disrespecting another woman you’ve chosen to get to know. Bad behavior all around.
tammy
is this a real post? she cheated on you with him. and now shes cheating on him with you. lol. there is a possibility that she may have cheated on both of you with others as well. if you are looking at a steady relationship with a future, then you need to block this woman from your life and move on.
KarinaDogLover
She is with him, period. Does it matter who she really is in love with? She chooses to stay with him. Whatever reason why she cheats on him, that’s not your business.
You are the affair she is having. She is stringing you along by saying “who knows what in the future”, that’s just all BS there. She wants you to be there to stand by on call whenever she could use you as a booty call or for her ego.
What do you want? If you want to be her FWB, then just keep on having sex whenever she comes over. But she should not have the power to stop you from dating someone. If you want a relationship, then she is not the one. You should not cheat with her on her partner.
Lane
Sounds like she’s going through a mid-life crisis. She seems to be seeking happiness outside of herself, like a dog chasing its tail, she’s circling back, only for it to keep alluding her because she’s trying to fill a void the wrong way. I understand it, as I went through one myself when I ended my 20+ year marriage but soon discovered that another man wasn’t the solution so I went on a venture of self discovery by focusing on what made me happy, and did so by engaging in many activities such as golf, softball, jumping out of a plane, camping, hiking, river rafting, hanging out with friends, and focusing on my career—truth be told is was a blast, and one of the best times of my life!
I know its hard as you’re in the thick of it but the best thing for you to do, is to fully detach from her, and dating, period. Its perfectly normal for your mind to think of the good times to help numb the pain, however, don’t fill the void with other women because its not fair or right to use them, the same way she is using you—two wrongs don’t make it right.
Take a TIME OUT from women for awhile. Focus on your career, retirement goals, meeting new friends, engaging in old or new hobbies, start a bucket list, and above-all, learn how to be alone, yet not feel alone you because you have enough great things going on in your life that you don’t have time to think about her.
In time, a year or two from now, you will be in a much better head space to date ladies again, and eventually meet ‘the one’ who not only has her stuff together but who will love and adore you, just the way you are, and never want to hurt you like your ex did. Make that your goal! :o)
iron606
Thank you all for your thoughts. I appreciate that. Your support will help me to move on…
Rebekah
Sounds to me like she’s a narcissist and is only using you (and her new beau) for supply. Run away as fast as you can or prepare to be tortured if you stay. And perhaps call things off with the other chick you’re seeing, to be fair to her, since you obviously are not that into her or you wouldn’t have slept with your ex in the first place. New Girl deserves better than that. And perhaps start focusing on how poorly your ex treated you within those five years, so it’ll be easier to move on. Bet you were tortured more than you realize and it’s time to start getting angry instead of mopey.
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