Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Silence.. Need help
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by
Khadija.
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Ann
Hi Ladies,
I have been reading the forums for some time now and am needing some help. It is the middle of the night and I cannot sleep. A guy I met online and have been talking to nonstop for about a month now is.. ghosting. We were getting along really well and I found myself liking this guy more and more.
He asked me to send more photos of myself to him, which I did. I have been met with silence ever since. It is obvious to me that he did not like the photos and it hurts. Have any of you experienced this before and how did you deal with it?
Your words of encouragement are needed and appreciated right now :(
Raven
What kind of pictures did you send?
Ann
They were regular selfie types, smiling. I didn’t think they were much different from what he already saw of me. I am taken aback by his reaction. :(
P
Please don’t think he rejected you because of your photos and the way you look. He most likely wanted to see if you would send him nudes. It seems most women do and men and some women think nothing of it.
It stings but please try and forget him.
Liz Lemon
You haven’t met this guy in person? You’ve just been texting/messaging? I don’t mean to minimize your pain, but if you haven’t even met the guy, there’s not much to get upset about. You shouldn’t get attached to guys that you don’t know in person. Plenty of guys message women online for entertainment and have no intention of it going anywhere, and they will stop messaging out of the blue when they get bored or find someone else to talk to.
You don’t know what happened. Maybe he started talking to someone else. Maybe he has a wife/girlfriend who caught him. I know it’s hard, but I wouldn’t personalize this. It was not a guy that you actually knew. Take this as a lesson not to get really attached to a guy you haven’t met.
T from NY
Never send men you’re aren’t actively dating (as in physically meeting up with) more pictures. They’ve done nothing to earn them. And as stated above he was probably wanting sexy pics for his spank bank. These days if a guy I was talking to asked me for more pics, who hasn’t taken me out several times, I would be completely turned off. If they had been great up to that point – I would say “Maybe we can take a pic of me if we ever meet in person”, then change the subject.
If that didn’t shut them up – I would just stop talking to them because it’s just eww.
T from NY
And regarding you feeling rejected about him not responding. That’s natural and anyone would initially feel that way! But take heart. He’s shown you who he is. If he was the guy for you – he would have responded positively and promptly. I don’t even stay upset if a man doesn’t court me, or want to date me, anymore. When they start acting that way I’m initially bummed, let myself feel it, but almost immediately begin to think and feel – Whelp okay. Not for me. Because the man for me will be SO into me and want to progress with me. Then I go bake a pie or something. You got this. Let him gently go back to the universe and get back to living your wonderful life.
Khadija
If he already saw your other pictures he knows what you look like. I suspect he wanted nudes as P suggested. In any case take a lesson from this, don’t spend hours talking to a guy online. In doing so you created a false attachment and now you’re hurt because he has gone quiet. The reason why he’s gone quiet is about him and not you.
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