Real girls vs Tiktok girls

Just need to vent and process a little.

I started dating someone a couple of weeks ago. He’d been around for a while before that, and once a few personal things in my life had settled, we finally connected. He had always been clear and consistent about his strong feelings for me, and I genuinely believed his intentions were good.

Before we officially started dating, I never made an issue out of him keeping his dating profiles. We weren’t exclusive, and I wasn’t giving him the kind of commitment that would have warranted him taking them down. However, once we started to move forward and about a week before we committed as a couple, I was disappointed to find out (through friends) that he was still active on those apps.

I brought it up with him and explained how important honesty is to me. I made it very clear that ongoing dishonesty is a dealbreaker. He responded by taking the profiles down immediately, telling me that he had only kept them up because he hadn’t been sure about my feelings for him. After that conversation, we made things official, and I felt like we were starting something real.

But last week, I had this overwhelming gut feeling that something was off. I couldn’t shake it. A few days ago, I opened TikTok for the first time in months and looked at his profile — and what I saw confirmed my concerns. He was actively following and commenting on videos by women, especially those posting fitness content or clearly signaling they were single. One comment to a woman simply said “hi,” and for me, that was enough.

I ended things with him immediately. When I confronted him, he didn’t express real remorse. He only apologised for how I felt, not for what he had done. He told me he wasn’t “looking for anything” and that “he just comments.”

That’s not something I can accept. It doesn’t align with the kind of relationship I want or the kind of respect I expect.

While I’m proud of myself for standing by my boundaries and not compromising my values, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt and disappointed. I really believed he was different. I thought he was genuinely one of the good ones.

If anyone else has gone through something similar, where someone presents as honest, emotionally available, and serious, but still can’t act with integrity, I’d love to hear how you handled it. I know I’m not alone in this, and sharing helps.