period sex

Period sex is perfectly normal (and it’s normal for women to get very sexually enthusiastic with the hormone changes that accompany a period starting), but I know of plenty of men like this and those feelings are common as well. It generally has to do with societal norms, which often aren’t the most fair to women or them having unique bodily functions. Pornography sensationalizes and fetishizes anal sex, so men find it sexy or empowering, but western culture is historically scared of dealing with women having their periods. Look at some movies and tv shows… periods have been the butt of jokes or part of gross out humor. In the US, period hygiene products couldn’t even be advertised on TV until the 1970s!

Some men are misogynists and don’t want to get over this, some men are very uncomfortable about periods but know it’s not fair and try their best to deal with it (which it sounds like your fiance is doing), some men have no issue with it at all.

You can’t force your fiance to like period sex, but do respect that he is trying to show up for you, and keep the communication up and see if there’s any way to normalize it so he gets more comfortable over time. Doing it in the shower or maybe on a towel with the lights off seem like okay compromises as long as you find something that works for you both. I don’t think it’s you at all or really anything fully logical, but it’s not an uncommon hangup. As long as he’s respectful, just find what is fun for you both and doesn’t make either of you uncomfortable. And just as you have a boundary around anal sex (but it’s not a rejection of him), you can respect that period sex isn’t his favorite thing without taking it personally. Over time he may find he enjoys it more or that he just isn’t into it, and you have to decide if that’s any sort of dealbreaker for you or not. If the rest of the relationship is strong and he doesn’t treat you unequally in other ways that make you uncomfortable, this seems like something you’ll be able to get past one way or another.