Is he trying to court me?


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Is he trying to court me?

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  • #929350 Reply
    Maggie

    The question sounds lame, I know, but I didn’t know any other word to use besides “court” since I have a sudden gut feeling that’s what’s going on here but I can’t be too sure.

    I have a guy that I’ve recently started something with. There was no taking stage at all and we pretty much got together the second I got back to town. We both implied that we wanted to hookup, except ever since the first time he came to pick me up, we’ve barely even done that which leaves me confused. I guess I assumed certain things about him which is why I expected little from him, but the way he’s been acting keeps surprising me.

    Although we’ve kissed and things have gotten heated before, that only happened maybe once or twice and clothes never came off. Last week when we last saw each other, he teased me about being a little tipsy which I was since we were coming back from a friend’s birthday. Then he got all quiet and pulled my head onto his shoulder and said something like “you should just stay right here then, when you drink it makes me wanna protect you”. I just froze and said nothing while he basically kept his arm around me and his hand on my head and kept driving. We haven’t gotten to see each other recently because of his jobs and my school schedule but now he’s started to offer me money, like wanting to Venmo me cash. When I asked why he just said he wants to spoil me because he knows I like getting my nails done and wants me to treat myself to Dunkin.

    So yeah, I’m just a bit confused at this point. I thought he wanted a one time hookup but if you asked me what on earth we’ve been doing for the last four weeks, I couldn’t even tell you. I don’t even know whether I should accept the money or how to respond to his recent comments about wanting to protect me. Thoughts?

    #929353 Reply
    Ewa

    sounds like he is a good player, chances are he will be gone as soon as you two have sex

    #929358 Reply
    Lane

    If you want to know something what do you normally do? I usually ask, in a very direct manner, what I need to know so I can decide what I want to do with the information.

    It appears to me that he likes you, is attracted, but I do find his behaviors to be a bit ‘over the top’ this early, so I would label it as “infatuation” or “rushing in” at this point in time, and try to pace it and slow him down a bit. I would not accept the money but I don’t think he’s a player, as my (now ex) husband within a couple months of dating took me out to dinner and presented me with a tennis bracelet, picked me up and jumped over a puddle, and did those kind of ‘courtship’ things (other than offering me money), that you are describing so I wouldn’t make any hard or fast conclusions yet.

    If a man really likes you, asking him a direct question isn’t going to scare him off, only those who’s intentions are questionable will. So just ask him the next time you see him or does something sweet, such as “I’m unsure if you are courting me or not?” and then carefully listen to his answer. If its a YES, then you know what his intentions are. If he balks; tries to wiggle out of answering it, or says something along the lines of “I just enjoy spoiling you”, then you know he’s not and can decide how YOU want to proceed based on his response. Knowledge is power! :o)

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