Ignored Again

I was weak & super hormonal earlier & just read all of this again to get back on the right track. I have to keep doing that, kind of like I’m studying for a test. I can make alot of progress but then I tend to go backwards (I’m like that with diets too lol) one thing at least I’ve made lasting progress on is not posting on stupid Snapchat. I’m not going to until a week from now

I am sorry you are hurting.

Two things to think about.

First, millions of people have gone through this and survived, some have even thrived with a new love. You are not alone by a long shot. Take comfort in that.

Second, try to remember who you were before you got involved with this man. You will be that woman again, but even stronger and smarter.

It will take time but the sun will rise again and you will be free of heartache.

Thinking of you, keep us posted.

Today once I started my day, I’m doing way way better thankfully. Right now I feel good/happy. I hope it lasts

My best male friend is going to come spend time with me twice this week so that will be good for me, he is such a wonderful friend.

Anyway today I told myself this saying that I made & I’ll share incase it helps anyone else:
If it wasn’t what you thought,
You didn’t lose what you thought.

Flower, well I did take responsibility for my shortcomings but I never considered him a player, at all. He never did anything wrong or went MIA til 9 months in. I never even considered the thought of him being a player…just someone with alot of friends. If I knew he was a player, I wouldn’t be surprised & I wouldn’t have thought so highly of him. I always knew he had a good amount of female friends but I have mostly male friends so I never thought that was a bad thing. It is only because of Snapchat that I saw him looking like a jerk

Phillygirl, oh for sure. My mistakes of not realizing things though, I’d think well maybe this or maybe that…just never thought player.

I am glad you have male friends who can give you male insight.

Ask your male friend what he thinks this guy is doing…it might help all of us.

I was just hanging out with my friend & told her I want to get angry. That’s honestly the healthiest thing for me in these situations, to be angry & done instead of sad because that’s when I’m vulnerable/weak. She said “be careful what you wish for, look at snapchat” he had just posted an elaborate spread of fancy food on his table, 2 glasses of champagne, & a blonde girl sitting next to him waving at the camera. The next was a video of her sitting on the back of his couch, she said don’t make me laugh. He said why not. She said because I’m gonna choke on my food. Then she walked toward him/the table. It gave me this overwhelming feeling, that was the state that broke the camel’s back. I finally saw what I needed to see to truly get it through my head. I got the vibe they are more than just friends, like I could definitely see them having sex tonight. That Snapchat is what truly did it for me. As disgusted as I am, I’m grateful. I got what I asked for. I wanted clarity & I got it. She told me he reeled me in, got me, then it’s on to the next girl & she was absolutely correct. Normally I’d be crying but this wave of calm came over me. I feel RELIEF. I feel relief. And I promptly deleted my Snapchat account.

youve gotten great advise and support, and now you know unquestionably what this man really is.

He may contact you again, he may not. BUT actually he hasn’t dumped you… he has ignored you. Now you dump him. In your mind you are walking away, not him, because his record is to contact again. That doesn’t make you dumped it makes you shelved/ignored.

You are therefore the dumper- this very moment. He doesn’t have to know that, that she for you to know. YOU know YOU are now done. End of.

No more contact or reaching to him. Thank god you didn’t send more messages or ultimatums etc.

The reason you haven’t been able to make sense of it is because you are normal and decent, and he is not. No further analysis I said required there.

If he comes a knocking, please, I think I speak for us all, tell him haha! Goodbye.

Honeypie, Thank you, that is what I feel like, a sort of quiet dignity that I know what the deal is & I removed myself from the situation! Today is one week of no contact on my end, I’m so glad I didn’t make any more attempts! It felt good to deactivate Snapchat to say I am not looking at this toxic torture anymore, not letting him hurt me in that way again

Love is not a game. Dysfunctional relationships are though

If you are going to game play and not be honest and sincere, you are not in any kind of mindset to be dating.

Real love is about respect, admiration, consideration, selflessness, encouragement, healthy boundaries, patience, kindness, and being each other’s best friend and fan.

If you don’t have that- it isn’t love.

Yeah, phillgirl; but before you get there, it is a pull and push, i mean no two people just jump in love and stay that way no matter what they do..and there must be a complicity and compatibility etc etc..but love game is when you wanna call him 24/7 but you don’t cause you know it’s not right, when you wanna tell him you love him but you know it’s too early so you retain yourself, you wanna not keep your boundaries when he messes up cause you don’t wanna lose him, but you have to react cause you don’t want him to think he a got you for granted..it’s just that, it’s not really playing unless the person en face is doing precisely that..common, if love was so easy and straightforward, no one would be here on this forum..

This guy really is unbelievable! If he really has to try this hard to make it look like his life is all that “Hey look at me the coolest Playboy that ever lived”…. it shows how pathetic he really is. If someone is really that happy they don’t have the need to try so hard to project the image.

I just can’t even. I’m sorry you had to see that, but sometimes taking the rose colored glasses off gets you to realize the truth. He is emotionally unavailable, and very likely a Narcissist. He is a coward, selfish, lacks empathy and compassion. He plays hot and cold to manage down your expectations of him, and you’re left feeling “what did I do wrong?” The answer is nothing – it is him, not you. He has MAJOR issues, and the best thing you can do is get off of social media for a while, heal, find yourself and block his number, because the second you feel good again he will be back. He has played this game before, it is who he is, it is how he operates.

The good thing is you now know what he is like. You had some nice memories, and you will grow stronger because of this. Karma will come around, just live your life and find your joy. Cut all contact with him, you are way too good for this A$$bag. He is a joke, like seriously he really thinks he is something. Stay on your white horse and never take him back.

This girl in the video will be in your shoes soon enough, looking at this newest post that includes yet another woman, and she will be wondering “what did I do wrong?” Good Luck to her, to all of these women – luckily you dodged a bullet, you will be SO GLAD someday you are no longer with him. All you need is some time to heal!