How Do I Get Out of a Situationship

I know the quickest and most effective way to end a relationship is probably to just end it, have no contact and well- move on with your life- but he makes it soooo hard.

Ok so this guy and I- Kevin, started texting each other last year. We then took it to hanging out, we connected, it was sweet and just generally going well. Although I must now admit, I think for me, he was a rebound. I wasn’t completely over my ex and Kevin seemed like the perfect “upgrade” from my ex (I was totally oblivious to the fact that I had unresolved issues and thought moving on would make everything alright) I think he picked up on me possibly using him as a rebound so he started pulling back. He was initiating less dates, didn’t call as much and that would obviously frustrate me. In the midst of that frustration I started to become needy.

I started initiating almost all our dates- and he’d be more keen to meet up if it was at my place coz you know, sex. I even found myself paying for most of these dates and that’s when the “He’s not into you” article came to mind. I realized for whatever reason (obviously then I wasn’t sure what reason) the relationship was going south and that I needed to get out. It doesn’t help that during all this, I wasn’t doing what I loved professionally so I generally was a broken woman- in all ways imaginable! I had nothing going on for me and he is VERY ambitious so I’m sure I turned him off. Anyway, I realized he was merely waiting on me to end things so I sent him an email, he responded and we both agreed it was the right thing to do.

As time went by, I started dealing with all my pent up emotions. Both from my previous relationship and those with Kevin. And I mean, I dealt with them!! I went on a soul cleanse. Did A LOT of introspection. Started a 30 days self-love program, went to gym, hell I even found the courage to leave my job and pursue my dreams. I was really having the time of my life falling in love with myself again. I think with all the good I was surrounding myself with, I started to exude to. A lot more guys were approaching me- good guys- but I was so high on the self-love I really did prefer being by myself. THEN I bumped into Kevin. It really didn’t unnerve me, I was happy to see him and by the look on his face- he was happy to see me too. We caught up a bit and for me that was that. I went home and completely forgot about it.

When I get home, I realize I have a few texts from him. He was obviously nervous about sending them coz they were that of a teenage boy, but I just giggled that off and replied “It was good seeing you too. I’m so exhausted, let’s talk tomorrow” hoping he’d just forget about it and life would be as was. He didn’t forget. He sent a good morning text the next day and wished me a good day. I replied. Before I knew it, we were back to the texting and he finally asked me out on a date again. I agreed. We went out, had great fun, he didn’t even expect me to invite him over and I was feeling good about things.

We went on more dates (initiated and paid for by him) it was good but he was just never the same. He wasn’t the guy I had originally met. I think with the time I spent nurturing myself and my spirit, I now find it easier to pick up on a persons vibrations. And to me, I pick up vibrations of uncertainty from him. Almost like he has a “this time, play it safe with this one” approach towards us. It’s like he has one foot in the door. And I don’t know what to make of it. It’s frustrating and I’ve tried soo many times to pull back and maybe let him figure things out- coz this time, I’m confident I have no issues. None that would should make him wary of having a healthy relationship with me that is. But he doesn’t let me. When I try to pull back, he goes and does the sweetest things. Sends the sweetest messages. Then when I’m fully there, present in the relationship, he’s not 100% in it. All those sweet gestures are brought down to a minimum. He does just enough to not lose me. And it is sooo frustrating. I’ve come to really like and value this man, but our relationship is feeling more like a Situationship with all the unbalanced emotions. Lately I’m finding that his uncertainty is now rubbing off me. I also now have this wary emotion within me. And not just with him, with everything. I’m sure any spiritual person understands what I mean. It sucks coz I’ve worked so hard to get my spirit to where it is. And I’m not sure whether this man is pulling me down or if it’s a sign that I maybe need to do more. Help:(