Home › Forums › Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Advice › Going out in a LDR
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
Faby.
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Faby
Hello everyone,
I’m new here and would need some advice.
My boyfriend and I are already in a LDR for over a year (He’s living in Australia and I’m from Germany)
Actually everything is going alright and I’m really happy with him. I just have the problem that I get this weird feeling when he tells me that he’s hanging out with his friend’s group.
Its not that I don’t trust him which I do. It’s more about that I’m getting upset that I can’t be with him, knowing that this is right now a part of his life that I can barley take a part in.
I want him to go out don’t get me wrong, I really don’t mind that… it’s really just makes me upset because I’m not with him especially because I know that his friends girlfriends are there as well.Is anyone of you experiencing the same or ever has and if, how did you handle it?
Can’t wait for your answers.
Best wishes
Anderson
Do you have a couple of friends or group, that you hang out with yourself?
Faby
Yes, I do. Still it’s kind of hard for me. I don’t really understand why as well. I just have a weird feeling and am just upset about it.
Peggy
Gaby, how old are you? If you are under 20 I suggest you forget the long distance ( and it is very long distance) guy and meet people locally to date. If you are older-is there an “end game” in sight here? Meaning that the two of you have discussed when you are going to be together all the time,whether tht is living together ,marriage or at least being in the same city. If that is not in the cards soon-I worry that this is a waste of time.
Who knows if the “gut” feeling means anything or is a measure of your insecurity. I would stay busy in your own life and not pin all your hopes and “entertainment” on him. But if you are not seeing him at regular intervals through the year and have plans to be together soon-I honestly would rethink being in this relationship.Peggy
Sorry-Faby not Gaby!
Faby
I’m 22 and yes we seeing each other regularly. We hope than we can be together by mid/end of next year.
Like I said I hang out with my friends as well. And I want him to hang out with his but I’m just getting this odd feeling that I’m missing out of something in his life. Or better saying not being a part in that.
It might be the distance and I hope it will change as soon as we are living together, but yes right now it’s hard.Anderson
Yeah I expect it to still be hard but it takes the edge off a bit if you are social yourself.
I’ve been in a distance rship. Did so well for so long not giving any chance to get involved because I knew very well how difficult they can be but sh** happens. Anyway, we both experienced the same struggles. Idk about common but it’s normal and understandable. In the beginning parts, I told her how I had this annoying dumb jealousy that her brother got to do the most mundane things with her, and I didnt. Things I never cared about before like walking around the mall. I didnt even like window shopping! Or when she went to try new restaurants with her friends. It was a bittersweet feeling. She completely understood and said she felt the same whenever I’d go watch a movie with a friend/sister. And one time we were on a phone call talking normally and I was cooking while singing, and she broke down crying because she wanted to be there with me to share the happy occasion/mood. We both understood each other and it helped a bit. But that’s the effect of distance relationships. Soon one day you will start wishing you were the random mosquito that got to at least touch your distance partner’s skin before it got slapped to death. Except I’m just joking with this last one ;-) whisperORAMIwhisper
So you’re not alone and I hope knowing that helps. If not, depending on how understanding/mature you two are, you could talk to him about this. Making it clear that you’re not implying he needs to stop but just that it’s difficult. Hopefully he empathizes but even if he doesn’t it will help to vent.
Faby
Hello Anderson,
thank you so much for your message. It actually made me feel better because now I know I’m not alone and I guess it’s kind of normal having that feeling when you are so far apart from each other.
Btw I talked to him as well and he kind of understands how I’m feeling. :)
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