Ghosting & Time-wasting in online dating

It really is. But its good to be aware of it and respond accordingly. Some men are online because its low level investment, some are dabbling because they are in unhappy marriages or relationships, some have issues you know maybe insecurity or shyness and some have major issues as in narcissism, mental disorders whatever. My point is there are so many types online it is just
so accessible but of course theres also just the odd normal guys that are looking for a girlfriend and are willing to do the groundwork. The best way to manage it is to expect nothing and do not get too invested. If a guy is consistent, easy to chat to, available for calls and willing to open up about his life overall then thats a good start. If hes cagy, hard to reach, mysterious, disappearing or being flakyand stuff then give him a wide berth. If he gets sexual too fast then hes telling you thats what he is after. Dont let the idiots put you off just keep on trying and whatever you do think that something is wrong with you after you get a disappointment. You really have to have a thick skin for dating but i just see it as fun and dont get too caught up in the outcome. Keep going out and keep up your hobbies and online on the side when youre bored and it will be fine. x

Think of it as an expo with all types of vendors and consumers. You are there as a vendor and consumer. You talk to people, give out and collect business cards. Out of all the people you talked to and the stack of cards you have, you might be interested in a fraction of the products and a fraction of the people are interested in your product. When you check into things further you find out some are junk, some don”t work, some cost too much, some will even catch fire lol! But, if you do your research you may find someone who is interested in a collaboration of your products. Even then, not all businesses turn a profit but if the market is ready, the product is good, and there is teamwork, you can build a successful business.

As simplied and impersonal as it is to compare it to business – I know business can be very personal as it’s a person’s livlihood. Just try to not let it consume you. Work on making the best quality product you can. If you build it, they will come.

The advice given here is good. Just think of online dating as a tool to meet guys. Don’t get too caught up or overly invested in it. The goal is to meet guys in person and not text endlessly.

If a guy is flakey (sets up a date and then cancels for some lame reason, for example) just move on to the next one. An example, I met a guy online & it seemed like we had a lot in common. We set up a coffee date and at the last minute he backed out with some really flimsy excuse. I was gracious about it and told him to let me know when he wants to reschedule. I never heard from the guy again. And naturally I never reached out, that was my last text to him. The guy was not serious so there was no point in wasting my time. If a guy does something like that just let him go- never chase a guy! Especially one you’ve never met!

Don’t be crushed when you meet guys and there’s just no chemistry. That will happen most of the time. I have seen women post on this site who are disappointed because they’ve had 3 or 4 online dates in a row that were duds. That’s the norm! You’re looking for someone who’s a good match for YOU; most guys will not fit the bill. I like Katy’s analogy of the business expo.

Just don’t take it too seriously and has already been said, definitely keep focusing on your life, your hobbies, your friends– don’t let online dating become the most important thing in your life. For one thing, it makes you a more interesting person and a better date if you have stuff going on in your life that you can bring to the table on a date. We all want to date someone who’s interesting! And, keeping busy with your own life will help prevent you from getting too hung up on any online dating failures.

To end on a positive note, I met my current boyfriend online and we’ve been together almost 2 years and are crazy about each other :-) so it can happen! Neither one of us really expected it but when we met we just clicked and it was so clear we were into each other. So it can happen.

It is not ghosting when a stranger disappears. It is someone simply taking themselves out of the running. If you call it ghosting, it gives it way more meaning than it deserves. People are flaky, and it is best not to care – hence my 0 f%cks rule – until someone is your boyfriend, you are not overinvested.