Double Date Tips?


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  • #781412 Reply
    Ella

    Hi!
    I’m 21 he’s 22, both in college and have been seeing each other since around Halloween. We are not in a committed thing yet and have only had 5-6 dates overall. Taking it slow and just trying to go with the flow, we are clearly not “BF/GF” yet. We finally slept together on date 5, and I was worried it might backfire (honestly still is). I’m so used to guys just treating me so badly after we have sex. I told him this and I knew going into it there is always a possibility but I wanted to have sex and I should not beat myself up about it. Anyways he said he really likes me, text and talk everyday, and he wants me to meet his older brother who he talks HIGHLY of. We are going on a double date with his brother and his gf, then me & him. This is my first time meeting someone’s family members and he phrased it as “my brother was wondering if we wanted to go out…” yadda yadda yadda, which makes me think 1) the brother WANTS to meet me or 2) it was a casual way of saying he wants to introduce me to his brother. I am unsure if I should be stressed about this or not!!! Isn’t meeting someone’s family member a big thing? I really like him & really just trying to go with the flow, and just trusting my gut.

    #781414 Reply
    Lane

    To be honest its sounds promising! Men need to go through an “uncommitted phase” to get a sense of how they feel about you in different situations to be able to know if its just lust/infatuation or if real feelings are being developed and those go much deeper than the surface level. Wanting you to meet important people in their life is a great step in the right direction, especially if they are important to them as they want to get a sense of how you would integrate or mesh in other areas of their life.

    Just continue to be yourself. Don’t forget that your job is to make sure he is of good character so need to listen, observe and watch him in different scenarios too see if he’s only being on “good behavior” which anyone can do for a short bit, or there are things lurking underneath that he hasn’t exposed to you yet. Think of men like an onion, there’s the surface that could look pretty on the outside but underneath those layers could be a rotten core. What you see on the outside is not always what you get on the inside so don’t be in a rush just to get ‘a title’, because that’s fools do, they rush in. Smart women take the time to really scope a man out before THEY choose them :o)

    Being that the two of you are so young don’t start planning a wedding yet! Men today are taking much much longer to ‘settle down’ now so unless he has a solid career and is ready to start a family don’t expect this relationship to last very long. Short-term relationships are actually best at your age as they give you an idea of what kind of partner you mesh with best, and one’s you don’t so when that times comes when both [key word] are ready to settle down into a domestic lifestyle you’ve had enough experiences to know what you like and don’t like in long-term partner. The one that lasts longer than at least a year or two and you’re still overall happy with each other with minimal upset is a good milestone/benchmark to set. Good luck!

    #781565 Reply
    Ella

    Hi Lane!
    Just wanted to say thanks for the advice. The double date went really well in my opinion and it was a lot of fun. I didn’t ask him any questions on what it meant and what not I just said how I had a nice time meeting them and how fun it was. He agreed. I ended up sleeping with him over at his place and we didn’t end up going to bed till 4 am….and I could barely sleep. 1pm strolls around and we end up getting brunch together at 2, he walks me back to my place at 3 kiss once hug and say bye/Happy Holidays. He said he would text me and I believe him, I just felt a weird vibe at the end of it. I am not too sure. I really like him and am unsure what’s the best protocol with this! Obviously wait for his text. I just don’t want to get too in my head about this!!!!

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