30 and never been loved and I don’t know if it’s my fault

Hi everyone, I really need some advice

In 2021, I had my first boyfriend. The first time in my life I truly felt comfortable with a man to be myself. We connected deeply, I enjoyed sex for the first time and he was so incredibly kind and gentle. The only thing was, he had nearly moved to my country and I was the first person he met here, basically I was his first friend here as well. Which was fine, but he had very little money and a few months then I realised that he had never actually planned a date himself. It’s super embarrassing, but I planned all the dates and I was the one putting all the effort in and also he always talked about his ex-girlfriend a lot and I think because I didn’t have the experience of having an ex partner I didn’t know that wasn’t normal at the time And in time I felt him pull away he became very cold with me and not the person I originally met. He dumped me, but it still broke my heart and it took me years to heal from it.

My friends always told me I would meet someone better but feeling attracted to someone is such a rare thing for me. It’s mainly based on personality and a couple of years later I met another lovely man. It was very early stages of dating and he was a little hot and cold But I decided to give a chance and when we were together and spent time together, we had a very good connection and finally after years of being hurt from my ex I felt attracted to someone but I also felt very scared of losing this guyy and a little overcautious. I didn’t know if I was being too much or too little was a flirty enough or was that too flirty? I just felt like I couldn’t be myself.

And eventually, even that guy told me that he didn’t have any romantic feelings for me. This really hurt and has literally made me question why the guys not love me.

It’s been two years since then, I’ve tried to put myself out there in various ways, I go to run club. I go to socials people in my city and I’m on the dating app. I can’t get anywhere with the dating apps. I can’t even get a reply I overthink my response as well, it wasn’t like that with my first ex it was just easy.

Also, I’m turning 30. And I’m quite worried because I knew that I always wanted a family one day I’ve got a lot of worries that I just can’t do relationships so I don’t play the game right to make someone fall in love with me. I’m very caring when I date someone and I’m very supportive And I tried dating in summer but I just felt like I couldn’t fully relax into it and once again the guys didn’t put any effort in either.

I thought I’d mention as well, and I don’t mean to sound thing, but I now appreciate that I am a pretty woman. I get a lot of compliments out and about in public all the time which is very flattering, but sometimes still makes me wonder why I’m single or why the people that I dated didn’t love me. My family have this series that the last two guys use me as a trophy on their arm. I don’t know if being quite attractive can make men date you for the wrong reasons

I really struggled to find someone that I’m attracted to as well, which makes me sad because I felt so much for those last two guys. I wish that they gave me more chance. I was caring and supportive and I was an understanding person. I just did all the work and I’m so embarrassed. I’m worried that now I’m 30, it’s basically the end of the road for me the people that like me on dating apps, I just not people that I would even want to go for a friendly chat with. I’m not interested in the people that like me I want someone smart and kind and gentle and intelligent like the people in the past and I’m just scared that that was my one last chance.

Sorry this sounds like I’m moaning but I’m just feeling a little emotional this evening. Basically, I just don’t know where I’m going wrong and I have a lot of thoughts and worries that there’s something wrong with me that prevents men from getting any feelings. I feel like I can’t play the right dating game to trigger the desire in a man.

Finally, both the exes from the past on now married and happy. I just want my happy ending and then every time I think I’m gonna find it, they don’t want me back. I’m otherwise a confident woman and successful but I’m very lonely.