Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I've Never Climaxed With Him
- This topic has 13 replies and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by
Ron.
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Johanna
Just wondering if anyone else has this problem. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now and have never climaxed with him in the bedroom. I pretend to finish so we can finally move on because the act gets tiring after a while. He thinks I’m very responsive and that I have a great time but in reality it feels all right but I can just never reach that point. it might be due to overthinking, or maybe I just have a hard time “being in the moment”, but I think it would take a long time to get to the psychological root cause of why this is, if there is any.
I was wondering if anyone had any tips for the mechanical aspects of sexual intercourse that would make it easier for me to climax with him? Anything that would arouse me more, or some special pill, or creams that would make the act more pleasurable for me and lead to me climaxing? Sorry if this is a weird question or too TMI, but I really feel like if theres some miracle medicine out there that would make me more sensitive I would like to try it.
Raven
Well first thing, stop pretending you’ve cum!
Cos now… He thinks he’s doing things right…Try different positions… Get on top, use lots of lube.
You getting enough foreplay?Try a vibrator.
Hannah
Is it just him or have you had the same problem with other people?
Ali
Ok, so you have to stop faking (been there, done that, and unfortunately all you are doing is training him that what he’s doing is working when it’s not).
Have you had similar problems with other partners? If not, what was different?
My current partner is the only man I have consistently been able to come with on a very regular basis– for me it has to do with level of comfort and trust even more than technique (he actually was quite a lot less experienced than me when we met). But he’s gentle, teas-y, and loves me unconditionally, so I always felt comfortable expressing what especially felt good and he could do more of :) in that manner I got him pretty nicely trained, haha!
Ali
Also– if you happen to live in a state where weed is legal UM sex on weed is amazinnnnnng. Not trying to say substances are a solution, BUT it makes you super sensitive and relaxed.
(Cali girl here so Im not advocating anything illegal. I started using medical marijuana for chronic insomnia and discovered this….)
Amy
Pretending to have an orgasm is a slippery slope (no pun intended) – we all have probably done it at one time or another to make a man feel good about what he’s doing, but in the long run it can lead to an unhealthy situation.
If you guys are comfortable exploring new things, you can always invite him to try different positions, manual stimulation, toys, you can even offer to “give him a show” and he can watch while you please yourself.
Some women can have an orgasm from vaginal intercourse, some need clitoral stimulation, everyone is different. There’s no “right” way to have an orgasm, so if there’s something you need in order to have one, tell him so he has the opportunity to do it for you! You can make it playful and erotic so he doesn’t feel like he’s being taken to school. A wicked little grin as you say “wanna do something fun?” and take control of the session could turn it into the most explosive sex you’ve ever had.
A man usually WANTS to make a woman feel good during sex – and if you hide the fact that he’s not doing it for you, you’re doing both of you a disservice.
Bedazzle
Not sure of your age, but if you are low in oxytocin, you won’t feel pleasure the same way and having an orgasm is difficult to impossible. Many doctors don’t necessarily know this so if you do go see a gyno do some research. You can also buy oxytocin on line.
Maggie
Be honest with him. You’re only doing yourself a disservice. I can’t imagine never letting myself have an orgasm.
For me, it’s almost entirely mental, I can make myself orgasm just thinking about how much I love him lol. Just ne present in the moment. Start experimenting a little bit, maybe with a vibrator or something. Masturbate with him watching so he can see what you like.
Bedazzle
I don’t know that being honest with him at this point is beneficial. I would wager he would feel very betrayed. I think could do some serious damage to your relationship at this point in the game. I would suggest you stop faking it and start showing him and being playful.
Ali
Yeah, I don’t think you can go saying “hey guess what I’ve been faking it”!
I got into a habit of faking it with an ex (which is how I know it’s a bad bad idea) and reversiing it was a challenge, but at one point I did say “you know, I seem to be having a harder time reaching orgasm lately, must be stress or something, but maybe if we try XX” and that did seem to help.So you could do something like that.
Dimakatso
Very common with females to be honest,also comes with maturity if you didn’t have it at your beginning of indulgence.
my advice is to do self practice,I.e masturbate because it involves lot of self understanding in as far as what makes you tick.From that point communicate during sex and inform him all your g- spot.Sorry,for missing out the most wonderful part of the game.Remember,sex is an art driven by both parties and be there completely and concertrate,loosen up and good luck hey!L
Who is this Amy girl with the pic that looks like an autopsy photo
eddy
Just find out what you like and show him that way both of you guys will be happy. Most importantly listen to your inner critics when you start have sex,stop it and focus on the pleasure that you experience on that moment.
Ron
4play will always get you into the sex mood, do not rush for penetration. it prepares you for the sex mood and be psychologically ready.
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