Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Girlfriend flirting with someone else
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Better off single.
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JOE13
I will try to be brief.
I am 46, my gf is a 37 single mom (2 kids)…few months ago she went to a club with some girls, i found out that she ended up flirting and dancing with some young guy of 21. Before i find out she told me that some guy came to her, talked to her while she was dancing, but she refused him and sent him away. I found out that she danced with him, i confronted her with this, and said “yeah, i forgot, we danced a little bit, few seconds, but that’s it”, and she swore that it was it. After a while i saw some videos made at that club, and i saw that she danced somehow in an intimate way with him, several times, and spoke and laughed several times, and at some point she danced with him on the table, also in an intimate way (when i say intimate, i didn’t see any kissing, but intimate positions, grinding…etc).
I confronted her again with this and she said that simply she forgot about that dancing on the table, because she drank too much that night, and the reason that she danced with him because we had a big fight that day and she just wanted to forget.
The idea is, whatever happens we can talk about it, even if we end up cheating, we can discuss it, so i don’t understand why she still insists on lying.
I am not sure if what i wrote makes any sense to you. But i appreciate your advice.
Thanks in advanceAsayi
She’s 37 with 2 kids and still found the time to have an intimate and indecent dance with a 21 young man? Plus she keeps lying to you… Well it doesn’t sound promising this situationship you’re in. Sounds like she’s not serious.
Would you forgive her if she cheated? Because if your answer is yes, she’s never going to respect you.
Lane
I’m going to blunt with you…sometimes we just need to let our hair down and have some darn fun!!!
She did not lie to you, she intentionally left out specific details so you wouldn’t act like a raving jealous lunatic—a smart woman intuitively knows this. Listen, I understand your side, I get it as I’m sure if the shoe was on the other foot she would feel like you do which is why you don’t ask or discuss stuff like this when you allow your SO to go out and have a lady’s night or guy’s/stag night because nothing ever good comes of it when you do…the less you know the better.
Her ego was stroked, she was enjoying the attention and having light innocent fun. Trust me, she did not take this guy serious at all, it was about the venue, the music, hanging with her friends and letting her hair down for awhile. Trust me on this, YOU are the one she loves, the one she wants to be with and the one she is devoted to! She knows the fine line and didn’t cross it, and you should feel secure in knowing that. Now kiss, tell her how much you love her, that you trust her, and will stop bugging her about it.
Raven
How often do You take her out & cut loose?
Dangerouse
Quit being a whiner. You know darn well she’s faithful and loves you. Why you wanna start trouble? Be careful, love her, don’t harass her.
Colleen
Are you trying to drive her away?
Colleen
I assume she enjoyed herself interacting with other patrons of the same establishment while looking forward and being glad she has you to come home to.
Maybe you should take her out and dance with her yourself.
kaye
It sounds to me like you are researching and trying to catch her in a lie. “After a while i saw some videos made at that club, and i saw that she danced somehow in an intimate way with him, several times, and spoke and laughed several times.”
I’m sure these videos didn’t just happen to appear. You had to intentionally go out there and track them down. Look either you trust her or you don’t. So she had a few too many drinks and danced with some young guy at the club. She came home to you. If she didn’t get his number or kiss him or spend any time alone with him, really what’s the big deal?
If you don’t trust her because of something she has done in the past this would make sense. But if you have no reason not to trust her then why are you going out of your way to catch her in a lie and keep confronting her about this?
You two were in a big fight, she had a good time and enjoyed the attention of a young guy and that was the end of it. She didn’t cheat on you and she didn’t lie. You need to move on from this or you’re going to let your jealousy ruin this relationship.
Better off single
She’s an attention whore. It probably really didn’t mean anything. It’s disrespectful to you though.
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