So, my guy friend and I care about each other deeply. lately I have been kind of pushing his feelings and this is what he said… ” I cant define my feelings, but it’s strong and it scares me” If I talk to you or are around you too much, they intensify, if I push you away, they are still there but out of sight out of mind”. Then basically at the end of our conversation, he just said I feel like our conversations are forced and I just want it to be organic. So what does that mean? Is he pushing me away like he thinks is easier? Or does it sound as if he still wants a relationship? Im so confused!

My FWB and i have been sleeping together for about 6 months now. From the beginning i told him obviously he is open to sleep with others, but if he is i would rather know. He said that of course he would tell me if there was anyone else. So things were going fine, and i often would stay over in the week. One particular day i left as he was going out with some friends for the night, and then the next day i came back over. When i went into the bedroom i couldn’t help but notice some earrings on the side of the bed i usually sleep on. I don’t have proof but my gut feeling told me that a girl had been there that night (i saw him that afternoon and we slept together).

I asked him if that was the case and he straight up denied it. He said he had been cleaning his room that evening and found some old earrings an ex had left at his place and just put them on the side table. Although this could be true, i feel a bit like it is bs lol. The problem is, i have no proof.

Do you think i have a right to be annoyed? I just personally found two girls in one day (if this did happen), a bit too much and close together. Also, if he is sleeping with others why does he find it necessary to lie to me?

Hi,

Just wanted to ask for opinions on a current issue between me and my bf.

My bf and I have been together for 6 months. We started dating in May and got together in July.

Between May and July, our casual dating life went pretty great. We got along well but I was clear in my position that I’m not ready for us to be exclusively dating. He on the other hand made it pretty clear that he was serious with me and only me. We had plenty conversations where I had explained that my options were still open and that we had only recently got to know each other for me to only be focusing on him.

After we got together in July, I decided to tell him that I met with someone in June and slept with him. I told my bf that I didn’t want to start this relationship hiding things from him and that if he wanted to rethink his decision with me, he could. He was of course hurt, and we spent days afterwards trying to process his emotions.

Now in January 2025, he’s telling me that he can’t get over the hurt. He said he’s been trying to hide it but it comes to the point that every argument we have will remind him of that one incident I had told him about. He’s even more upset that after the night that I slept with someone, it was the very next day that I told him I have decided that I want to only focus on him exclusively. On my part, I didn’t think about how this had affected him I guess. I just thought that that incident gave me great clarity that I have developed feelings for my bf then and gave me the desire to pursue things more seriously with him. That was why I didn’t wait it out as I was excited to tell him that I only wanted to date him exclusively from then on.

Even so, in July when we talked through everything, he still decided that he wanted me. Now he’s saying that he can’t get over the hurt.

I’m not sure what to do to help him get over the hurt. Or how should I be feeling. I’m confused because his hurt have caused him to say nasty things to me and treat me differently than before. I’m made to feel like I should be earning his love back. Or should I not feel this way??

We have been in a committed relationship for 2 months but have known each other for almost a year. We are currently in different states and fly to each other once a month. We FaceTime for hours everyday and have grown very close.

But he’s graduating end of this year, applying to jobs, and right now his chance of getting a job in my city is slim. Unfortunately I am stuck in my city for the next 2 years for graduates and there’s no way I’ll sacrifice my education to move with him. So I asked him if he doesn’t get a job near me, is he willing to continue what we have for the next two years and he refused. He says long distance ruined his last relationship and he will never make the same sacrifice again. We were both crying and very emotional about the possibility of the end. He worries about this everyday and it’s killing our mood. I told him I’ll give him time to think about what he truly wants.

I am shocked and upset. He is definitely husband material and I would wait 2 years for him but he won’t do the same for me it seems. Should I end the relationship now, persuade him to do long distance, or wait to break up when we know for sure where he lands a job?

I started dating a guy back in early Jan. We hit it off right away. Every date he would always have little comments, tho, telling me I deserve better, should run, and that this is him. We’ve both been through bad relationships and knew that about each other. He was always kind, affectionate and caring.

The last time we hung out was my birthday. I took him cake, homemade wine, etc., for a date night. He ended up taking me to his friend’s to drink. While there he said “this is me. The other times hanging out were me taming it down. Drinks go down easy and i get rowdy. You should run. I wouldn’t blame you.” I got tears in my eyes and tried to brush it off but was very confused. He then got really affectionate shortly after. That night he initiated intimacy for the first time, and again the next a. m. Afterwards he said he was in his head and embarassed and ashamed. That he knew he shuts down after intimacy and did it anyway. He told me more about his past and said “I’m a very broken man” in tears. He told me he liked me a lot, cared about me, and then hugged me. The next day I asked to talk. He got harsh and said I was insecure. I got anxious. He got more mean. 3 days later he texted & called and said he was sorry, really didn’t want to step back from things, and that he knew I was just scared and he was scared and running. That night we talked and he was cold again. Told me he’s effed up in the head and only going to hurt me and it’s better for me to hurt now than later.

The following days he said it was all my fault and that my anxiety and talking about our pasts ruined his feelings. That I pushed him away, even though he said I did nothing wrong. There was no conversation, just continued mean and then blocking me when I told him I was very confused and hurting. I don’t understand at all and have really been struggling with this. Any and all input would be greatly appreciated because I just can’t make any sense of this and am not doing well with it. I feel broken.

What do you do when you’re boyfriend is having doubts about your relationship, but you are still madly in love with him.

He is younger than me, his grandfather just passed away, we have been together for over a year (we live in different cities). 1,5 months ago he said he loved me, and now he is having doubts. He has become more distant since a month for no clear reason and I thought it was just because he has a lot on his plate lately.. I don’t know what happened.

What should I do?

Hi, I will try to make it brief.

Bf of 6 years, told me last night that he needs visual to have sex.

We always have sex in the living room, lights on, TV on everything bright. But sometimes I want to have sex in our bedroom in a more romantic way. Candle lights or just a dim lamp in the corner. NOT pitchblack (And I explained that to him) But for him that’s not bright enough. He even called me “old”. I was initiating last night and it totally changed my vibe when he said that. I feel like he can’t use touch and his mind to be more intimate that he needs to see my parts in the brightest white light to be aroused.

He told me it should be a good thing that he wants to “see me” rather than the opposite. He even asked me if I’m insecure about something on my body. Lol. Been with this man for 6 years he has seen my whole body it’s not insecurity it’s just moods and vibe.

Bottom line I just don’t want to think that he only has sex and doesn’t “make love” anymore. I know we’ve been together a while and things do get boring etc..but he does nothing to spice anything up he always expects me to, and I do of course occasionally but why can’t we balance it out? Now I have to always be in the brightest light in the house for him to want me? Might as well hand him a torch.

Any thoughts or experience on this topic is greatly appreciated.

I broke it off with my BF two months ago. He did not sent me one text or make
one phone call during that time. I expected him to do so. So because I thought I made a mistake dumping him, I get in touch a couple of times to chat. He sounds really happy to hear from me and sends long text messages that are light and humorous.

BUT He will never initiate a text to me but sounds enthusiastic when I start the conversations. On some of these occasions where I start contact, he may take his time getting back to me. Once a week went by. I sent a message asking why he was so quiet. He just said he was busy at work.

I am not entirely sure he is interested anymore, especially since he don’t start texting first. If I never started a text again, would months and months go by where he would just let me go?

Just need a few opinions. We have not talked about getting back together as I wanted to build rapport over a month or so and not pressure him.

Hey everyone, I wrote about my relationship before, and I need some new advice now that my boyfriend and I are taking a break after almost a year and a half of a nearly perfect relationship. He needs to figure other things out in his life and said that he doesn’t want to put me thorough it. He said that we can still text during this break but just not see each other, and that’s where the problem is.

We text on and off throughout the day (always with him starting conversations) about absolutely nothing, and when I try to make the conversation fun or interesting he just shoots me down with a “nice” or something. It’s frustrating, and while I like hearing from him, I think these forced conversations hurt more than not talking at all.

So should I tell him that? Ask for a few days of not texting to see if he misses me? He still tells me that he loves me every night but it feels like he’s just telling me what I want to hear. I’m afraid if I do cut off communication, he’ll agree and not hearing from him will hurt worse. Or that he’ll realize he doesn’t miss me and that’ll be the end. Any advice?

Do you guys have experiences with ghosters coming back? I was wondering if it’s possible that the guy that ghosted me will come back around with an explanation or apology.

I was seeing a guy regularly for a month. We met about nine or ten times. We spent a lot of time together, either in his flat or driving around in his car; we also went to a restaurant once and had shots. His ex had cheated on him but he forgave her, eventually they broke up. He played the guitar, I sang and we were planning to perform together.

During the first eight or so hangouts there was almost no physical contact between us, only during the last two in his flat. He said that earlier he had been seeing a girl from Tinder for a month and realized there was no “vibe” between them, and that she had lied that she didn’t smoke when she actually did. He considered that a lie from the very beginning of the relationship and said it was one of the reasons he ended it.
He said that he liked me, that I was pretty, and that he wanted to kiss me. At that time I didn’t kiss him. At first I saw him as just a friend and wasn’t that attracted, but later I started to like him. However, I didn’t initiate any physical contact. He asked what this was leading to. He said he wasn’t sure if I was looking for friends. He added, “clarify” and “at worst our paths will part and I’ll stop trying in this way” (meaning holding hands, hugging etc.). He offered me alcohol. He told me to think it over. He also said that he “didn’t know how to behave” after that confession. I told him that over time I would be open to a relationship, but that at the time I was going through a difficult time because of my ex, and that I was looking for someone. Later, during one of our “dates”, we kissed passionately (he initiated it). I stroked his hair, complimented him and there was some intimacy between us. We hugged but we didn’t have sex (I think he wanted that because he was becoming more and more bold). I felt awkward going for it when his roommate was in the other room but I didn’t say that; instead I set a boundary at some point, avoiding letting the situation escalate too much. Still, there was closeness between us.

After that he started postponing plans. In general, he quite often canceled or rescheduled, or said he was sick, or that he had to work on a game he’s creating. He once said, “I’d meet you even now, but common sense kicked in and I have to work on the game, and we’d end up staying up till the morning again and I know how that would end.” He said it in a joking/flirtatious way, as if he knew the same closeness as last time would happen again. I often complained to him a lot about my ex, I even cried once. I know I shouldn’t have done that. During our last meeting (we went cycling together) he didn’t kiss me anymore, only hugged me hello and goodbye. I was planning to come over to his place again, but he said he wasn’t feeling well. He seemed distant. He withdrew and didn’t text me for the whole day until the evening.

A few days ago, that evening, he texted and suggested bringing me something I had left at his place. He wanted to talk. He said he didn’t feel that “vibe,” that I was pretty and talented, but “you can see we aren’t text each other.” He also said, “a girl who goes to the gym and exercises a lot would probably be more of my type” (and I don’t go to the gym). To me it sounds like an excuse. He said we would both keep looking for someone. At the end he added, “no hard feelings?” and hugged me. On his dating profile he claimed he was looking for something long or short-erm. I don’t understand why he ended it so suddenly. A few days later, he texted me: “Hey, it’s your buddy — what’s going on in the big world? I’m at my grandma’s place”. He showed me a video of a fireplace, his car and his dog. He probably didn’t want to feel like a complete ahole.

Hello everyone. I’ve been dating a guy for two months almost exactly. We talk on the phone and text every day. He initiates most of the time. We see each other 1-2 times each week. But here’s the thing: we don’t ever hang out on weekends because he always seems to have plans and I’ve twice now extended invitations to him to events with my friends so he can meet them and he’s declined both. He’s not invited me to meet his friends or to go with him to events he’s filled his weekends with. For the last 3 weeks our dates have been home dates so he isn’t even taking me out anymore and the real kicker – I am the first person he has dated since his divorce many many MANY years ago so he’s told me he feels he should be dating other people too – BUT ISNT! He’s twice now been offended by things I’ve said to him that he’s taken COMPLETELY the wrong way. When he told me he thinks he should be dating others I continued dating others as well because obviously. But then if he asks me about it and I’m honest he gets mad at me. He’s said he feels he can’t go out with others because he’ll “feel like he’s cheating” on me and recently told me he “wasn’t supposed to meet (me) on day 1” and he’s “scared.” He said it feels like he’s known me forever and it’s “not normal.” And two months in and we aren’t even social media friends. Anyway, the lack of dates, the rejecting offers to meet my friends, the fact that he’s altogether stopped taking me out on dates where we are actually doing something other than hanging at his watching sports or movies and his constantly booking up his weekends has me feeling like a placeholder and unimportant. I think I need to look out for number one now and tell him this is over. Thoughts?

I’m asking this because I am considering adding an ex back on Instagram but I have had an annoying experience previously and I just want to know what others think ..

Ok so one day I was passing by my ex’s house on a bike with a friend and his mum and sister were standing outside they saw me and waved , I waved back and they wanted me to stop , I didn’t and just waved and told my friend to keep going ..About a week later I saw my ex’s sister’s page on Instagram out of curiosity I checked her profile and then followed her , she followed back and within 24hrs of following her she posted over 10 pictures of her brother ( my ex) , his wife and baby .. I got all the details of my ex’s life since we broke up in less than 24 hrs of following her and it just seemed pathetic to me because I am very sure my ex put her up to it ( it’s the kind of thing he does) but I felt it been like 3 years I mean people grow up and I didn’t expect that and looking back at her previous photos she only had one picture of her brother on her Instagram so this wasn’t normal .. And honestly there was nothing enviable about his life except he has a wife and kid , he still lives with his parents and doesn’t have a job , so I found it really pathetic that after three years he was still trying to prove to me that I lost out on something .. it was all just annoying and I think I unfollowed her ..
Recently been thinking of following back another ex who I broke up with because he cheated on me , we have talked since then and met up twice after the break up , thought of him recently and checked his Instagram I noticed he never unfollowed me even when I unfollowed him but now I want to follow him again , not because I want him back or anything but because I feel enough time has passed and all that happened is behind me now and we can at least be friends online ..

With my most recent ex even if things ended badly I know in maybe a year from now I would probably want to add him back on Instagram or something because again , I have moved on , all the anger and resentment would have gone and enough time would have passed ..

Also i have had ex’s add me back even a few months after the break up and I don’t feel when an ex adds me back it means they still have feelings for me or want me back , I know people move on and they probably added me again out of curiosity as I do and it usually just the same thing as when any other person I know sends a friend request .

So is it totally wrong to add an ex back on social media after sometime or do they automatically assume you want them back or still have feelings for them when you do so ??

Hi, I want to know if, in your experiences, Scorpio men normally start a relationship with sex rather quickly and then bond with a woman this way? Then progress into a relationship? In most situations I have been in with other men, we were friends first and I didn’t sleep with them for about a month or two.

I am dating a new Scorpio and it looks like all he thinks about is sex. I joked about this with him and said I would sign him up for a sex anonymous group. He had a raving fit and did not speak to me for days! I was only kidding and trying to have fun!

Has anyone ever heard of a Scorpio going through the normal courting process – dating, getting to know you – then putting the move on you sexually?

I have been dating this guy for less than a month. To be honest everything went really fast we spent de holidays together he told his family about me me too and he was the one who came on to me and talked to his family about me first. He said he has feelings for me I spoke to his mom on the phone everything was good. But this Tuesday we talked on the phone and I mentioned it would have been nice to meet during work or after worker just to say hello since we work for the same company but not on the same floor. He said no when he comes to work it’s only to work eventhoug he used to come get some coffee on my floor and he talks to people. He said me and him it’s something outside of work. I said I just wanted to say hi not flirt or anything.. I told him we can even meet after work just to say hello and I can meet him where he parks his car and he said u don’t know how to get there. So I dropped it and I said I wasn’t mad it’s just weird. He said don’t read to much Into this it was a phone conversation he told me he did not feel well because he didn’t sleep… we texted a bit but he was cold and dry even on the phone and I haven’t heard from him. It’s been too days now, usually we text everyday he sends me a good morning text and me a good night one
What should I do ? Why is he acting this way ? Should I text him?
Thank you

Okay so I didn’t do anything like show up at his house, threaten him, or destroy anything. I got drunk one night and was trying to remove the home app we shared from the house and ended up messing with the lights in the house. I apologized he said it was unacceptable and blocked me. I’m wondering if there is any coming back from this

It’s really embarrassing putting it in words. Every time I go on a date and guy doesn’t pay I lose the interest. It’s not like I can’t pay for myself as I work full time (i’m 30 years old) . I cringe when they ask for separate bill and most of the time I just end up paying for whole thing. I say “nah I have got it” in a straight face and pay but inside I’m really uncomfortable.
I’m going on dates with this new guy. It was our fourth date and he only pays for himself all the time.It’s just mostly coffee and breakfast so not expensive. I paid for both of us in second date and he thanked for coffee but didn’t do same in next date. I kinda like this guy except when he doesn’t pay and I’m hating myself for having this feeling. Do any of you feel same ? Is there any way I can tell him how I feel without scaring him off ?

A new guy I’ve recently started dating is asking how many people I’ve been with before. We have not been intimate yet. He is pressuring me to tell him. He says that he just wants to know in case I change the number in the future.
I declined to tell him and we haven’t talked in a few hours. I know he is not going to let it go until I have told him.

To be honest, I’m not telling him because:
1) I will not be entirely honest and I don’t want to be put in a position to lie. There was a time I was at the lowest point in my life after losing all my savings and I had spontaneous sex to just feel something different from the distress I was feeling.
2) I no longer sleep around. I’ve changed. So I don’t feel like my past should follow me.
3) I read somewhere that asking for body count is a sign of manipulation. I’ve greatly been manipulated by men before. By narcissistic men. And I’ll be damned if I ever tolerate one again. So I don’t know if I’ll be falling for a manipulative man if I give up the body count answer.

I’ve never had a guy ask me how many people I’ve had sex with and I’ve never asked a guy.

This guy is really good. We vibe. We connect. We really have feelings for each other. It’s like I just met my guy. Yet, the request of my body count could be a hindrance???

I have two choices… lie with a low number or stick to not telling him.

He will probably assume that I’m a slut if I don’t tell him and he will not forget it or let it slide.

So, my dear sisters, I’m seeking your advice on whether I should lie with a number like 3…and we move on. Or should I stick to not telling him at all and be dumped? If he doesn’t dump me, he will be disturbed by it.

My exclusive boyfriend of 4 months has not been tested for stds as I thought he had. We had clear discussions on this a few times and had both been tested about a year ago and were going to test again.Couple months later, he still hasn’t gone due to work hours and I brought it up again. He’s making an effort to set it up but as we’re talking, it’s revealed that he thought he had gone through with the test a year but realized he hadn’t. All trust in him is gone now. This was our first fight where I raised my voice at him. I am so upset my this lapse in judgement, neglect or lie, whatever it was. I really don’t know if I can get past this. Instead of being apologetic, he focused on why he felt attacked and that it was ok because his other girlfriends were negative and I was recently negative. Mind you, this means he hasnt been tested after his “wild” phase of many casual hookups. This puts me at such a high risk. He doesn’t understand, despite my thorough explaining many times that he could still have something if I showed up negative. I feel unsafe and hurt and he doesn’t see that. He only became apologetic now that he’s seeing this relationship may be over because of this. Is this normal for a man to be this nonchalant about protecting himself after one night stands? And to not understand the risk he puts his girlfriend at?

I met a guy on tinder. After a few messages he told me that he isn’t looking for a hookup and wants a real relationship, besides and I quote: “I’m very bad at sex, I don’t like it”. I felt so sorry for him, I tried to tell him that I’m sure he could fix his problem. He said that I’m very polite and a rare girl for reacting like this. Anyway, we started talking and it was very well, but I couldn’t forget what he had told me. Later on, he explained to me the issue and I realised that if we ever had sex I wouldn’t enjoy it. So, I explained him my concern quite honestly. I told him that when he begins a convo with such a statement how does he expect to have something further than a friendship? What would it mean for me as a woman to be OK with no sexual pleasure within the relationship? At that he became furious, he said that I should have told him when he first informed me that it would be a deal-breaker. I felt so bad! I enjoyed our convos, it was awkward to tell him anything before I was ready but at the same time I feel bad because it’s as if I strung him along or no reason. I’m very sad.. After not receiving any message I deleted my account, tinder wasn’t my thing anyway. But right now, I am very sad because I didn’t want to hurt him and I did… He seemed a nice guy and maybe it was a need for validation, pity perhaps, but now I’ve made things so much worse for him and his psychology. Am I a bad person? I never had a guy confess his sexual problems and all I wanted was to help him…

So I recently starting following my bf on Insta and I noticed that he follows a handful of provocative accounts – mostly girls that are half naked. I can see that he started following some after we became official too. I know guys are visual creatures and it’s not a matter of trust but I’m annoyed he started following these girls after we became official. I’ve already confronted him about it but he didn’t flat out say he wouldn’t keep following these girls. What should I do if he follows more after this? I trust him completely but I’m just so annoyed that he’s even following these girls to begin with.

Hi everyone, I really need some advice

In 2021, I had my first boyfriend. The first time in my life I truly felt comfortable with a man to be myself. We connected deeply, I enjoyed sex for the first time and he was so incredibly kind and gentle. The only thing was, he had nearly moved to my country and I was the first person he met here, basically I was his first friend here as well. Which was fine, but he had very little money and a few months then I realised that he had never actually planned a date himself. It’s super embarrassing, but I planned all the dates and I was the one putting all the effort in and also he always talked about his ex-girlfriend a lot and I think because I didn’t have the experience of having an ex partner I didn’t know that wasn’t normal at the time And in time I felt him pull away he became very cold with me and not the person I originally met. He dumped me, but it still broke my heart and it took me years to heal from it.

My friends always told me I would meet someone better but feeling attracted to someone is such a rare thing for me. It’s mainly based on personality and a couple of years later I met another lovely man. It was very early stages of dating and he was a little hot and cold But I decided to give a chance and when we were together and spent time together, we had a very good connection and finally after years of being hurt from my ex I felt attracted to someone but I also felt very scared of losing this guyy and a little overcautious. I didn’t know if I was being too much or too little was a flirty enough or was that too flirty? I just felt like I couldn’t be myself.

And eventually, even that guy told me that he didn’t have any romantic feelings for me. This really hurt and has literally made me question why the guys not love me.

It’s been two years since then, I’ve tried to put myself out there in various ways, I go to run club. I go to socials people in my city and I’m on the dating app. I can’t get anywhere with the dating apps. I can’t even get a reply I overthink my response as well, it wasn’t like that with my first ex it was just easy.

Also, I’m turning 30. And I’m quite worried because I knew that I always wanted a family one day I’ve got a lot of worries that I just can’t do relationships so I don’t play the game right to make someone fall in love with me. I’m very caring when I date someone and I’m very supportive And I tried dating in summer but I just felt like I couldn’t fully relax into it and once again the guys didn’t put any effort in either.

I thought I’d mention as well, and I don’t mean to sound thing, but I now appreciate that I am a pretty woman. I get a lot of compliments out and about in public all the time which is very flattering, but sometimes still makes me wonder why I’m single or why the people that I dated didn’t love me. My family have this series that the last two guys use me as a trophy on their arm. I don’t know if being quite attractive can make men date you for the wrong reasons

I really struggled to find someone that I’m attracted to as well, which makes me sad because I felt so much for those last two guys. I wish that they gave me more chance. I was caring and supportive and I was an understanding person. I just did all the work and I’m so embarrassed. I’m worried that now I’m 30, it’s basically the end of the road for me the people that like me on dating apps, I just not people that I would even want to go for a friendly chat with. I’m not interested in the people that like me I want someone smart and kind and gentle and intelligent like the people in the past and I’m just scared that that was my one last chance.

Sorry this sounds like I’m moaning but I’m just feeling a little emotional this evening. Basically, I just don’t know where I’m going wrong and I have a lot of thoughts and worries that there’s something wrong with me that prevents men from getting any feelings. I feel like I can’t play the right dating game to trigger the desire in a man.

Finally, both the exes from the past on now married and happy. I just want my happy ending and then every time I think I’m gonna find it, they don’t want me back. I’m otherwise a confident woman and successful but I’m very lonely.

I have a massive crush on a guy that works at the grocery store I shop at every week. He initiated our first conversation a few months ago and ever since then we’ve had a friendly/semi flirty banter going on. He’s stocks the snacks and a couple weeks ago I asked him to help me pick out some “emotional support donuts.” (The story behind the emotional support donuts is unrelated so I’m not going to go into that.) He picked out a specific flavor so I got them and said something like “I’ll be back next week for more,” and he responded with “I’m excited!” We said our goodbyes and that was that.

The following week when I saw him, I asked him if he would be my Official Emotional Support Dessert Person and he said “Sweet!” I asked him if that was a “yes” and he said “yes,” and then gave me his pick for the week, going into detail about why I would like them. He also pointed out a couple of others he thought I might like. I chose the ones I wanted and as I was walking away I said “I’ll be back next week,” or something on that order. His response was “Any time you need emotional support, hit me up.” And here is where I’m confused. What the hell did he mean by that? Because he didn’t specifically say “dessert” which is what our banter was about, he just said “emotional support.” I only see him once a week at the store so was he saying I should come by more often? Was he hoping I’d ask for his number? I am super confused. Also, his “I’m excited” comment from the week before confused the hell out of me. Also, in our last interaction, he told me he baked the snack cakes he chose for me himself (he didn’t, they’re prepackaged) and that they were “filled with love.” ??????

He has told me I am “flawless” in the past as well as indicated that he thinks I have a nice figure. He’s also mentioned that he likes my dimples. I’m sure he sees 100s of woman a week and obviously I have no way of knowing how he is around others since I only see him once a week.

I am very socially awkward and I am terrible at misreading signals. I honestly have no clue if this guy is just being friendly or if he’s trying to subtly let me know he’s interested. PLEASE HELP!

Met this guy on a construction project at work, he is an IT contractor. The first day we met, I had to assist him while he did his install which resulted in us chatting for about 3 hours while he worked on the server (keep in mind, he speaks mostly portguese and I can only understand it not so much speak it, so we had to use a translator a lot of the time). He had to come back the following week to check something and that’s the day he messaged me saying he hoped it wasn’t inappropriate, but he wanted to take me out on a date. I asked him honestly how we planned to communicate, because english is his first language but I can understand/partly communicate in Portuguese. He said it wasn’t important to him and he really liked my personality and getting to know me.

Well for the next 2 and a half weeks he would message occasionally checking in, but also saying he wanted to see me but what so busy with work because his schedule was all over the place. Somewhere into the 2nd week since meeting, I kind of just said forget him because he clearly wasn’t serious or that interested.Fast forward to this past Friday, I end up seeing him at work again. He tells me that I stopped writing him and was sad I wasn’t interested. I countered back that I had written him last and was sick of him saying he wanted to go out, but never did. He asked if I was free later and said he wanted to take me out. We ended up going to a bar in my neighborhood and walking and talking for another few hours.

He told me from the first day he met me, he thought there was something different about me and was so excited to come back to the project the second day. Even said he told his friend about me and said he had never met someone he connected with so well, especially considering we don’t speak the same language. We also talked about lives, family, etc. It was a good talk. I invited him back to my place, just to have somewhere to talk that was more quiet and hang out, but somehow it turned into us sleeping together. I didn’t exactly plan it or want to initially, but it did happen. I didn’t love the fact that I felt like it was definitely initiated by him, and talked to him about it afterward. He said he didn’t want me to think that sex is all he wanted and he really enjoyed our time together.We’ve been texting since then, but still very sporadically.

Now, I am confused. Because 1)I don’t know if with the language barrier, his busy schedule, and various other reasons if there is a real future 2)I don’t know if I actually like him or just like that he likes me and 3)that sex thing through me for a loop and i don’t think I liked how insistent he was. I did however have a lot of fun with him and wondering if I should just keep it casual and more of an I see you when I see you type thing, although he did tell me he wants to be serious with me. Guess I’m just wondering what we think this is and should I keep seeing him.

Hello
So as the title state, I’ve been the real life Carrie Bradshaw. Like almost down to the T. I was a career unstable single mom when I met my Mr Big. He’s Mr Big because he comes from an ultra wealthy background. Like really old money. When we met my ex and I had been separated for almost a year and we were cordially coparenting our 2 year old twins. Looking back, a big part of me felt shame about how my life had taken shape so when mr big came into the picture, I felt small. I felt like he was- as Carrie phrased it “out of my league.” He had so much going on for him and well, I had what felt like nothing but dysfunction. Now that I’ve done some inner work and healing, I look back and realise that he knew why he picked me. I may have been a single mom, but I was somewhat of a socialite. I wasn’t wealthy, but I was always invited to the same events he was. I was always desired by his peers. I think because I never dated anyone in those circles, the mystery around that is probably what attracted those guys to me. I was desired but never attained and so I guess he wanted to be the one to do that- to be “the man that gets her.” And he succeeded. From the outside I imagine that because of how I dressed and carried myself in those spaces, I must’ve come across as this confident woman who’s a catch but after spending time with me, any gent would’ve quickly figured out I was anything but. My self worth was nonexistent. Mr big came to know this and well, it worked out perfectly for him seeing that he too was a secret avoidant with self-esteem issues of his own. We were both two people wearing masks and because it served the personas we were playing out, we ran with it. True to the title, our whirlwind of a relationship lasted 8 years! Just a constant in and out of each other’s lives. Like Big, he too met a Natasha shortly after one of our breakups. She was actually his ‘real’ type. She was the literal embodiment of a Pinterest aspiration board. She was about to graduate from med school, so a dr. She too came from wealth. He introduced her to his family just a few months into the relationship. It took him about a year to introduce me to just his brother and cousin. He, like big would take me to all the restaurants and hotels that nobody would likely bump into us in. He didn’t keep me a secret, but he also didn’t care to let people know we were together. It was only at the events we’d attend, and even then my gut always knew it had more to do with his ego than him actually caring about me or the relationship. He needed people to see him as this amazing gent who any woman should feel lucky to have when behind closed doors, he treated me worse than used gum. He’d give just enough breadcrumbs to keep me around. Whenever any resemblance of self-worth would creep in and I put an end to the mess, he always knew just what to do and what to say to get me back onto the saddle. To sum this up I have LITERALLY been the real Carrie Bradshaw. Down to Aiden, the Russian, the Paris trip, EVERYTHING besides being left at the alter. I’m pretty sure that too would’ve happen had I accepted his proposal (that wasn’t much of a proposal but more a suggestion- much like you know who!) I literally cannot believe I’m not making this up. It cracks me up thinking about it😅

Unlike Carrie, I did end up leaving Big. It’s now been two years. I’ve used this time to really get to the crux of all my inner struggles and shadows. I know I’ve become a better and healthier woman- psychologically, mentally and emotionally. I received an email from him in Jan this year. Wishing me a happy new year and asking if we could do coffee coz he really needed to speak to me. I cannot tell you how hesitant I was to agree but I did. The conversation was surprisingly pleasant. He apologised for how poorly he treated me and asked for a chance to redeem himself. He claimed after much reflection, he realised I was his soulmate so he has spent much of this year trying to win me back. He suggested we hangout and take things as slowly as I’d need them to be to see that he has changed. I spent some time thinking about it until I eventually agreed to hangout. Just hangout. We’re also now in different cities so I was intrigued to see how he would navigate all that. He either books my flight to see him or he comes down and checks into a hotel while here. (It’s only an hour flight so not so bad travel wise.) Now that much of the veil that blinded me all those years is gone, I’m genuinely at a crossroads about what to do. He, unlike series Mr big has been doing some work for and on himself. He goes to therapy. He talks to me about his emotions and his thoughts. He certainly pulls out the stops when it comes to planning dates and making an effort. Before, he didn’t wanna do anything me- outside of the events we’d attend. He treats me so much better than what he did before- atleast the moments we’ve spent together. Basically I can confidently say this is a man who’s put in effort to prove that he too has evolved into a better person. My issue now is 1) He still has no kids and I don’t really want to have more. My cut off age for kids was 30 and I made this information available to him. It’s a decision I had made for myself and I’m quite happy sticking to it. He obviously will want to start a family and I won’t be able to give him that. 2) I have sooo much disdain for the woman I was while with him. Like I get why she was that way (daddy abandonment issues.) but I want to believe I’m no longer her. And in my mind it feels like me taking him back would be me refuting that. That’s my actual problem, my mind. Logic is screaming “Close this chapter. It happened, you guys both clearly grew from it now you both need to move on.” There’s also the issue of me understanding that as humans we all inherently have preferences. I was not his. The Pinterest woman is/was the type he’d put on a pedestal. I worry that him choosing me now is him possibly settling? I don’t want to be the woman a man chooses to settle for coz it seems ‘easier.’
Yet equally, I cannot deny that I do see and appreciate the changes he has made. I do see a man who seems to have a vision that actually includes me. I do see a man wanting to love me like I deserve to be. Our recent interactions are what I would say a healthy relationship looks like. And if I’m being honest, I do still love him.
Do I just discard all that because of the really terrible history between us? Do I become the real life Carrie and actually choose to be with Big, flaws and all? Soooo confused.

Hello there,
I’m in weird situation. I’ve been dating for 8 months this guy, who has been super nice, supporting and loving with me. We have different nationalites and he is younger than me (idk If this information should be useful or not, well now you know).
Everything was nice and well until one day he called me super drunk, even though I asked him not to drink too much because he really can’t handle alcool, and I had to take him home while I was out with my friend. All this was quite miserable and humilating, since he didn’t do the only thing I asked him not to do and I literally had to carry him home, late at night. While doing this, I had to call his flat mate to check if someone was home, and he gave him is phone. I found out he was texting other girls, which were clearly interested into him. I got mad, and when I asked him why he was doing this, he said, still drunk, that was because “they like me”.
We passed a lot of time quarrelling about this, later that week, where he said he was sorry about causing this mess, and that he stopped texting those girls.
My trust in him though was broken.

Because of this, one day I took his phone to check if it was true. I feel ashamed writing this, because I do not think that it’s a nice thing to do, but my thoughts and my fears were stronger than my self control. I found out that his ex-girlfriend, with whom he has been for 11 years, was still contacting him. She cheated on him, they had a toxic relationship (as he said) and when we started dating, he told me that sometimes she used to write him saying that she missed him, but he told her that now was dating another girl. He said they stopped talking, but I saw the conversations. She used to text him trying to bring up the past, sending old photos and videos, and he used to laugh saying yeah we were like that, but whenever she crossed the line saying something more, he said that now he found someone he truly loved (me). If this is true, why does he keep answering to those messages? Why did he lie?
I saw that sometimes he used to send her memes or pictures about things that reminded him of her. Yet, while speding time with me, he has always been caring, loving and helped me with a lot of things.

When I tried to bring up the conversation, he lied again, saying they were not texting anymore. And also got mad, saying I don’t trust him. He doesn’t know I checked his phone.

I do really love him, but I already told him that to me this is not acceptable. Someone who keeps going back to the past is not ready for the future. Last time we brought this up we had a bad discussion, he said “Am I not doing enough for you?”

What should I do? Should I tell him what I did? What I know?

I don’t know why they keep being in touch, but I know, that if she could, she would date him again, though he clearly said he doesn’t want it.

I’m very confused and depressed about all this going on.

I’ve been talking to this guy consistently since the beginning of the year. We’ve been on 3 dates so far (long distance) things seemed to go well. I just have noticed the last two days I’ve been left on read for hours when previously communication has been better. Wondering if I should just wait it out or mention something to him?

I want to share my perspective on dating, especially in the early stages, and get others’ thoughts. I personally believe that when you meet someone who seems like your ideal, it’s still okay to date other people while getting to know them. For me, this feels like the best way to understand if someone is truly compatible before committing.

Some of my friends disagree. They think that if someone seems ideal, you should focus on them exclusively right away, and dating others is “wrong” or inappropriate. I understand where they’re coming from — they may have different generational or cultural views — but I feel that dating multiple people early on is a valid and healthy approach, as long as everyone is treated honestly and respectfully.

I’d love to hear what others think: Do you believe it’s okay to date more than one person at the beginning, or do you feel exclusivity should start immediately?

Am I wrong?

I have a few questions for all the ladies (and gents) who has good insights.

So my bf and I have a 4 year old together, it hasn’t been an easy time for me in particular because my bf doesn’t help me with much.

We both have full time jobs but it seems the responsibility of the house and our son falls solely on me. I also contribute to the bills so it’s not like I’m a SAHM.

From the beginning when my son was a newborn, I did most of everything. Had to care for the baby and also do all the house chores. We were both first time parents and we knew nothing. When I told him he doesn’t help, he told me it’s because I didn’t ask him for help. He thought I was fine doing it all by myself. I always thought that a parent doesn’t need to be asked to parent but since we were new at this I tried to understand that it didn’t come naturally to him. So when I started asking for help he would do them but it always felt like I was annoying him and sometimes he would just plain pretend he forgot. It came to a point I realized I just rather keep doing it all myself if I want it done. He would spend his time with his friends after work EVERYDAY, He would complain we never have sex anymore. Made me feel useless while being the one who does everything. And I was so miserable. I was so stressed especially when I had to get back to work.

Whenever I would express my mind and emotions he would rather talk about how I’m the one not giving him attention (dude I was a new mom doing everything by myself and YOU wanted attention?) Many times I never felt heard, there wasn’t a safe space, I was never correct about anything, he had many criticism about me that “he” says were constructive. But I always felt undervalued, and unimportant. Came to a point I just felt that I had to depend on myself for my own happiness and I just ignored all the noise, I did what I could. I was so busy and stressed that I didn’t even think of leaving, I faught my battle and as my son was growing into a toodler I noticed he became a bit more engaging. (I know it takes some time for some fathers to bond with their child and the new parent life) so I tried to understand him.

5 years later I found out he was cheating since my pregnancy. We definitely broke up. But then he sang me a song of getting back together, and my son asked for him all the time. We talked about what went wrong, we agreed on certain things. It looked like it will work as he felt to me, like he had mature. We just were communicating better. No bickering. And sure enough things were good for a while. He didn’t go out anymore, we spent a lot of time together, we laughed more, we did one on one things together again while my parents would watch our son. Both he and I and our son, have birthdays in the month of june so we celebrate the whole month doing various things as a family. I felt like we had a real chance with the way things were going.

A year later (that makes 6 years together) today, I noticed lately things has been slowing down. He traded going out with his friends for a new activity which is the gym. Which is fine by me as he used to go to gym during our time together but it wasn’t as intense. Now he’s going everyday for 3 to 5 hours. Obviously I don’t know anyone who goes to the gym that frequently and 5 hours? So I addressed it. He said he’s truly committed this time. And I have to admit his body has changed he is well built now, very muscular so I do believe he is indeed going to the gym but I told him he goes too much. But he’s not listening. What’s puzzling me is that our communication isn’t how it used to be. It’s mostly just transactional than anything. His routine is he would go to work 8am to 4pm, come home at 5pm, rest for an hour or so, be in gym from 6pm to 8:30pm sometimes 10pm. Everyday. Monday to Friday. And on weekends we don’t work so he would wake up, lay around, make his protein, even nap, and then at 5pm would go to the gym and come back late. We don’t talk at all when he’s in the gym. And I would go to work same hours, when I get home I’m cleaning, preparing dinner and bathing my son, preparing for the next day. I used to stay up and wait for him so we can have dinner together or watch a movie or just talk but I get so tired and hungry waiting on him. I suggested going out to see a show one weekend and he said okay, didn’t expect him to go to the gym that day but he did. And I ended up waiting for him all dressed up, we were late to the show but we did go and the vibe was just not great as I was disappointed. And I just feel he’s not priotizing. I thought about going out with my friends instead and let him be but I know he will not like it and would give me a passive agressive attitude if I do. It has always been like this. He says he’s cool with it, but I know all too well he’s not.

I noticed also that whenever he comes to me, touching me during times that we clearly cannot proceed to have sex, our son is 4 years old and needs eyes on him, so after he goes down to sleep and my bf comes home from gym, I let him shower and eat and while we watch a movie I would make a move now that we can have sex, but he would turn me down. Said he’s tired or not in the mood etc. And he’s always taking a nap. All the time. So we end up not having sex for a while. Even worse now, because I had surgery 2 weeks ago, and I wasn’t supposed to move around and do any chores. But I had to because the house was disgusting, dishes was piling in the sink. Laundry so much laundry. I just couldn’t look at it especially since I couldn’t leave the house. So I got up and did them in all my pain. He was of course at the gym. Not even considering the fact I might need someone to help me shower, care for our son, or help me cook. He only picked me up from the hospital and then just left me at the house. I just feel he’s inconsiderate. It feels like there’s no love. If I asked him to do something for me it always feels like I’m annoying. He might do it, but through grind teeth it seems. So I don’t ask anymore. Also noticed he spends time on his phone a lot. When I asked about it he said he’s watching YouTube videos on gym stuff yet I clearly see him typing away. So that’s another thing.

I know all this work out is tiring for him, but why is he not choosing a day to rest and pay attention to his family? It’s not like he’s in any body building competition. I also know lifting weights can become addictive or an obsession especially when you see results. But lately I’m feeling like he uses the gym to be away from me. And I don’t nag him, I don’t pressure him, I do everything in the house, I take care of our son and everything else without asking for his help. (He basically just lives here. 😒) so i don’t know whats making him choose to be distant. I’ve addressed all this to him in the most kindest way possible and I don’t feel like he’s listening. He knows he disappoints me, he knows he doesn’t help at all but he doesn’t change anything about it.

So my question is what can I do about this? Is it because of the gym or is it because of something else going on? Do you think on some days he might be going elsewhere and use the gym as a cover? Those of you who are parents have you experienced anything of the sort? I know our relationship isn’t the best. But I’ve seen both sides of him and it is very confusing to just say I’m leaving. So anything you guys can notice that I’m not will be of great help. Thank you.

I am on the 2nd Scorpio man. Am addicted to their passion every time.

These guys are paranoid, insecure, secretive and don’t communicate. Do not believe one can have a normal relationship with these dudes. Never get straight answers either.

Drama drama and drama.Disappearances hot and cold. Living nightmare but they can always draw you back in. The mad cycle begins again.

Has anyone had good experiences with them? If so, what magic tricks do I need?

Help!