Why won't this rude guy leave me alone? He claims he likes me, but…


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  • #929200 Reply
    KAYLA

    I hope this isn’t too lengthy, but I’m just confused and don’t know what to do because the situation has been getting out of hand and I can tell it’s really frustrating my boyfriend as well. He and I go to the same college, and we were actually in the same high school too. Back then, we always had this stupid bantering back and forth dynamic which thankfully we grew out of because now we’re together and I like him ALOT.

    Anyways, I met this guy in one of my lectures who I was paired up with for a project. He really wasn’t nice at all, and a bit standoffish not just to me but everyone. However, we have some mutuals and I guess he found out who my boyfriend was and it turns out they knew each other since childhood. (not the same one I went to with my bf). They used to be my friends as kids, but now they don’t like each other for whatever reason as my boyfriend says. This is when things got weird because this guy started to bother me and has been since mid September. He would make comments about me in front of other people, during group projects, so much that I asked for a partner change from our professor. I thought that would make him take the hint and leave me the f alone but it just kept coming. Like he would block me while I was walking, trip me and then catch my arm, even in the dining halls during the few times he’s caught me sitting alone he took my tray forcing me to go sit with him instead. He even did these things in front of my boyfriend sometimes which really pissed him off.

    I was convinced that he kept doing this crap to me because he hates my boyfriend and wanted to get a reaction outta him. Until this past weekend he said something to both of us that made my bf really mad. He said something like, “Tell Kayla I like her because she doesn’t believe when I tell her, but she will if you do.” This was right in front of me and I was just baffled. I still am. Like yeah, he would say things like he only forces me to eat with him because he likes having me around, but I chalked that up to a load of bull. To me, all he’s done is try and bully me. My bf keeps trying to protect me and atp, never lets me outta his sight but I don’t know how to get this guy to go away or what his deal is. He’s making our relationship difficult for no reason just so he can try to get a rise out of a guy he hates. I’m really at loss of how to diffuse this situation.

    #929201 Reply
    KAYLA

    *they used to be friends with each other as kids, not my friends. Sorry I made a typo I just realized.

    #929203 Reply
    Raven

    Ignore & walk away…
    If he persists, tell your professors & others he is harassing you & you need it to stop!

    #929216 Reply
    Tallspicy

    He is tripping you? Tell him you will report him to the school if he continues to interact with you.

    #929218 Reply
    Raven

    Also, this is not college, it’s Jr. High…

    #929219 Reply
    Maddie

    Have you ever actually said to him that you feel he treats you in a rude manner? He sounds socially awkward and like he may not even realize you’re upset. If you’re doing things indirectly in hopes he may “take the hint,” because you don’t want to feel rude yourself, then it sounds like those tactics don’t work with him. He may have been confused about why you changed your project partner and may be trying to make up for it (except he doesn’t understand that everything he does seems mean instead of “friendly” teasing) rather than he’s bullying you to get back at your boyfriend. He definitely shouldn’t be treating you this way, but he won’t stop if he doesn’t know. It almost sounds like spectrum behavior to me, and they can’t read social “hints.”

    If you have already said something directly to him about feeling bullied by his behavior and he continues it anyway, then you can tell him you’ll get the professors / school involved if it continues.

    #930205 Reply
    Donna Keller

    This will sound harsh, but it’s true: YOU HAVE A BACKBONE PROBLEM as much as a guy problem. Learn to say NO and stand up for yourself! TELL HIM TO LEAVE YOU ALONE. Grow a spine and quit caving to this nonsense. Nobody can take advantage of you without your consent.

    He cannot “make” you eat with him or anything else! Pull away, tell him no and leave!

    Do not be afraid to be ride because he is being rude! Say “I will not tolerate your bullying anymore. YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE from now on. If you don’t I will report your harassment. I do not like you. I am not interested in you. Stay away from me and do not ever approach me again.”

    This creep has ABUSER written all over him.

    You should have reported his behavior long ago!

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