Why Men Push for Sex Early

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Hah! 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #746962 Reply


    This thread will consist of me throwing things out there for you to ponder or not. It seems from reading here and elsewhere that women want to be sure that there is a definite,sustained feeling of connection with a man before they start to desire physical intimacy. Men on the other hand work backwards. No physical desire = no emotional/psychological interest.

    What this last part means is that men who push for sex early are actually doing women a big favour. The women here will all be choking themselves on their coffee and shouting at the screen:’no Stephen a thousand times no they are NOT doing women a favour!!’
    Men by showing definite sexual interest are displaying genuine interest in a woman. Remember men start with strong physical desire and eventually end up feeling a psychological and emotion connection. This is vitally important. If on your next date he makes no attempt at sexy talk,he doesn’t try to kiss you,he doesn’t gush about how beautiful you are. He isn’t being a gentleman. He is signalling that he feels no stirring in his loins. A normal man should be like a fire that burns bright. Women are like smouldering embers that may or may not burst into flames. The trouble with this fire analogy is that usually by the time a woman is ready to burst into flames his fire has diminished greatly or has gone out.

    #746963 Reply


    Mother Nature doesn’t care about individual members of a species. She is entirely indifferent to the happiness/unhappiness of individuals. Mother Nature wants species to survive and thrive but not too much.
    Consider this if men and women weren’t polar opposites psychologically and emotionally then the sexes would understand each other perfectly and there would be zero animosity between the sexes. We clearly don’t live in such a world and the reason for that is that Nature with her profound wisdom and foresight recognised that a world where the sexes weren’t just so different would quickly lead to an obscenely over-populated world and then a devastating crash which could very well end in extinction.

    #746967 Reply


    Imagine these scenarios:

    Scenario 1:

    Woman goes on date. Greatly enjoys said date and tells all her girlfriends about how he was the perfect gentleman, no sex talk, no wandering lips or hands. She felt there was definite chemistry between them. He said that he’d call her the next day to arrange another date: he never called!

    Crestfallen woman:’ Why did he not call me?! What did I do wrong?!’

    Girlfriend:’You did nothing wrong honey! He is just a immature commitment phobe!’

    The reason He never called? He felt zero or close to zero sexual desire and understandably didn’t want to spend any more of his finite time and resources pursuing a lost cause.

    Scenario 2:
    Yet another woman goes on a date. Feels some emotional connection with him but she is aware that she could do better. He is visibly pleased with her. He reaches out to stroke her hand. His conversation is full of not very subtle hints that he desires her sexually. She on-the-other-hand is growing less interested in ever seeing him again.

    Woman:’I felt some connection with him and would have been open to a second date. But the jerk completely blew it by pawing me and making sexual remarks’.

    Girlfriend:’God what a creep!! Honey that guy was a predator. You dodged a Cruise missile!!’

    Woman:’You are so right! When will guys learn that it they want sex they have to be a perfect gentleman at all times? This means no touching my body in any way until at least date 6. No kissing me until date 12 and certainly no non-chaste kissing until at least date 19. On date 24 I might permit some light sexual innuendo. By date 36 I might start considering having a home date with him.’

    #747032 Reply

    Better off single


    I think the problem lies more along the lines of: is he going to remain sexually attracted once he gets some?

    #747039 Reply


    Just playing the devil’s advocate.. At lease he would know what it’s like with her if he gets some..

    He may wander off and try out other females(because he’s not sure what he wants. just got out of a relationship, etc). But if really likes what he got from this female, he may be back for something more serious when he’s ready, because it was GOOD!

    Of course, said female may have wandered off with another male in the meantime. But if she couldn’t find anything great in the interim, and he comes back, it could work out!

    This is what has happened to me after I had a brief encounter with someone 7 mos ago. He wasn’t ready, now he is, and now we’re dating..

    #747042 Reply


    Ladies, this is Stephen you are responding to.

    #747049 Reply


    There is a difference between being highly attracted to someone and wanting to sleep with them but still being able to withstand your urges out of respect and pushing for sex ASAP. A gentleman won’t rush a woman into being physical.

    #747050 Reply


    This guy I’m involved with…We’re LD and have seen each other multple times (his family lives close to me so it’s really not a huge deal as he visits them fairly often and then we can meet up. Plus in the long run if things work out I have no problem with movin to be with him). He has expressed a lot of desire to be with me sexually (very flirty) and in person it’s obvious that he wants to. But because of A: his beliefs (he’s Christian and while he’s not totally against sex before marriage he says he wants to have sex with someone he’s positive he wants to marry but he doesn’t want to rush anything) and B: He wants me to feel respected and he wants me to know that he admires me for more than my body and my looks. Yes we’ve had some pretty intense makeup sessions but we’ve also spent hours just cuddling and having deep conversations. I know he wants me, but he doesn’t pressure me at all. A guy that cares for you and respects you will make you feel safe.

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