Why does my boyfriend always tell me how to feel?


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This topic contains 16 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 17 posts - 1 through 17 (of 17 total)
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  • #765776 Reply

    Kj

    Like for example I’ll say “i want to go out or do this or that, or go here” and he will say

    “you don’t want to go,no you don’t, some guy will try to get at you because you have pretty skin and a nice body”

    Even if i want to go to a party my family is having

    And that makes me not want to go anymore but i want to go out , I’m not thinking about other men i wanna go out for drinks

    #765778 Reply

    Raven

    Why are You allowing this?

    #765780 Reply

    Kj

    I thought he was joking at first but he does it all the time now or he’ll ask me what type of party I’m going to

    #765781 Reply

    Raven

    Time to find a new BF…
    Again, why do you tolerate this?

    #765837 Reply

    Honeypie

    He’s controlling you. Do you see this? This is abuse. Read around controlling behaviour in relationships, especially around jealousy

    #765918 Reply

    A

    Because you allow it….

    #765926 Reply

    Concerned Citizen

    Abuse is a bit strong, but the bigger issue here is he sounds like a scardy cat and a worry wart. Which is not sexy at all… You should think about what attracted you to him in the beginning and if he still provides those comforts and can a compromise be reached like maybe he escorts you to the party? If not, you are free to leave him and give someone else a chance. I hate it when a guy presents himself one way and turns out to be an insecure mess. Good luck to both of you though. It sounds like he was hoping you’d be a homebody/homemaker exclusive to him for the rest of your lives, and if that’s the case and it’s what you want too-the situation will inevitably escalate and you will be required to make more sacrifices/compromises as a friend and relative in the coming months…

    #765928 Reply

    Cindy

    Tap into the male psychology and make sure your man never even *thinks* about another woman… just by sending this crazy ‘attention-pulling’ text message!

    #765940 Reply

    tammy

    he sounds insecure and possessive? how is ur relationship going with him apart from this?

    #765948 Reply

    Kj

    We have a pretty decent relationship but as soon as i casually mention anything about going out he will question me about it as if he needs to know all the details

    #765953 Reply

    Lane

    Kj, you need to sit him down and tell him straight up “listen, I understand your concerns but I cannot just sit in the house forever. I need to spend time with my friends, family, and engage in hobbies as it makes me happy too, just as spending time with you does. I am not running around trying to find another man, I love you but if you don’t trust me, then we cannot build a healthy relationship. I’m feeling controlled, and if you can’t loosen the reigns I will need to reconsider if this is a relationship I can continue with.” THE END. Let him respond but stand your ground or it will get worse, not better, if you allow him to control and dictate your life and every move!

    #766005 Reply

    Shoshannah

    I love Lane, everyone knows, but this time I disagree. I’ve been in an abusive situation in high school. No talk, no reason will make this right. This man is either too immature or too… limited to understand what your boundaries are (or that you have a right to have any). It’s the entitlement that shows in his attitude. How far will this go, what does he think he is entitled to..? I don’t know OP’s age, but when you’re young it can be like a zoo…

    #766004 Reply

    Kj

    I have tried talking to him and he claims “i just don’t want you to get hurt “

    #766011 Reply

    Jo

    I agree with Shoshannah. In my experience you cannot reason with controlling people. His response to your concerns is illustrating this, he has explained why he’s going to carry on. Believe him.

    #766017 Reply

    Raven

    Do you like dating your Dad?

    #766018 Reply

    Raven

    Why doesn’t he take you out or go out with You?

    #766019 Reply

    Lane

    Well it’s worth a try and if he refuses to budge then all you can do is walk away and free yourself from the chains….that’s the only way to do it or continue to be lead around by a leash saying ‘“yes master, as you wish master”

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