Why does he feel this way, in less words GUILTY!!


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals Why does he feel this way, in less words GUILTY!!

This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 6 days, 20 hours ago.

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  • #731497 Reply

    Anitta.l

    Hi there, my boyfriend was married for 10 years, he got divorced like 7 years ago, but he has according to him an amicable divorce and remains friends with her, they do not have children. But they share the custody of their 2 dogs and cats.

    The reason they got divorce is because they grew apart, many problems at the time ( her mom got sick and they had to take care of her, economic issues. Etc) she told him that she did not want to be with him anymore, he was you ger than her, she was on her menopause etc, so she just told him I don’t love you anymore. He did not want the divorce, he wanted to work it out, cause he believes marriage should be forever, the point is it hit him hard.

    So they barely had no sex, actually he remained a year without sex, and more I think. So they separated, and there was this girl that liked him at that time, so they ended up having sex, he was separated from his wife,he was very vulnerable, could not sleep, going through a hard time, etc no divorce yet. But he feels as if he cheated on his wife, I dont feel as if he did, he was separated from her do I dont see it like cheating.

    Why if he does not have children with her, just shared dogs/cats, he feels that he needs to take care of her, cause he promised her father when he died that he would look after her since she has nobody.

    I want to know what you guys think about all of this?? Ive had many arguments over this situation with him, and I feel that it goes nowhere. He says he loves me, and that he does not want anything with her, has no feelings towards her, nothing whatsoever.

    I don’t know what to believe. Il let you be the judge.

    #731498 Reply

    Catherin

    Anitta, is it you he had sex with?

    “so they separated, and there was this girl that liked him at that time, so they ended up having sex, he was separated from his wife,he was very vulnerable, could not sleep, going through a hard time, etc no divorce yet.”

    If it wasn’t you, why are you even discussing it??

    #731500 Reply

    Nathalie

    What O.o??

    Well now, I think the promise he made to the father of his wife weighs heavily on his heart..he does feel guilty to walk out on the marriage..And harsh as it may, i think he is doing what he can until the wife pass so he can be truly free..and you have a choice to wait or leave..so what are you still doing there?

    #731503 Reply

    Raven

    You’re right… This relationship is going nowhere.

    #731504 Reply

    Lurker

    You keep posting about this. His past isn’t going to change. His promise to her father isn’t going to change. His care for someone who has been in his life for what, 2 decades or so, isn’t going to change.

    If you don’t like it and can’t accept it, you’ll have to end it.

    #731505 Reply

    Ok

    This is about the third time you have posted this same question about this man. What more do you want to hear? He promised her father to take care of her. They remain friendly. You are younger than him and you keep dwelling on her age and how old she is. Yet you are jealous of her. You either have to get over this or move on.
    Arguing with him isn’t going to bring him closer to you. In fact it will drive him away.

    Just stop or find a man you can trust.

    #731507 Reply

    Ok

    Now I’m also wondering if you were the woman he had sex with, because I agree it makes no sense to be arguing with him about this.

    #731511 Reply

    Anitta.l

    No it was not me, I met him at the beginning of this year.

    And what I dont get is that she was the one who wanted the divorce, yet she wanted to try and be with him after the divorce, and has hopes , so she asked him to please not tell her if he had a girlfriend or anything cause she does not want to know.

    So I threatened him that I would call her and tell her, do she gets a life and stops communication with him, so he got angry and said that it was a deal between them and that it was her choice and that it’s not my business. That if I did that he will make a decision in regards to us.

    #731512 Reply

    Lurker

    Just break up with him already. It’s what you need to do.

    #731524 Reply

    Blu

    So you aren’t important enough to him to disclose you are a girlfriend, what more do you need to know? He will let you go if you make waves, which shows you are pretty temporary as far as a relationship with him.

    #731527 Reply

    Emma

    This mean hearted young woman keeps posting here about the same situation! G

    “I don’t get it why she doesn’t want to hear about his new women”. DUH!

    Go ahead and call this old woman that you can’t stop feelings jealous about despite EVERYTHING, see how he reacts after that.

    This guy is a saint, most others would have kicked you to the curb by now, and would have definitely lost all respect towards you.

    He cares about her as a PERSON, not as woman, like a sister almost, he does not want to make her feel bad. Do you understand BAD and GOOD? well she cannot have lovers anymore, she would feel BAD about him having some lovers while she is alone and old. Is it easier now??

    #731528 Reply

    L

    Oh pleeze… old? She probably has at least another 30 years left in her.

    #731552 Reply

    Lane

    If you can’t accept their relationship then LEAVE him!!! Honestly you been ranting about this on here and with him an nothing has changed! There’s a saying” a form of INSANIY is doing the same thing over, and over and over again yet expecting a different result.”

    End the INSANITY by either accepting it or leaving him if you can’t! Those are your only two options at this point! Pick ONE.

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