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January 24, 2018 at 5:04 am #680620
Hi there, I’m looking for some wise advice on my ex who’s back and where to from here.
We’d been dating for a year when he broke things off. Overview: Parents met, stayed 4 nights a week, knew each others friends etc. He said at the breakup he felt consumed because he was struggling within himself to be happy and make me happy too and he was under a lot of pressure financially to earn money and to pay off his parents house and provide for them as well as chasing a dream of his which i wasn’t as supportive of (doing it at this time in life) because to put it concisely there wasn’t any planning, financially bad move given his commitments and he was putting a lot in jeopardy including our relationship which would be affected. Anyway we ended very amicably and remained friendly and he kept in contact weekly until i cut off talking for a while because i needed time to heal. Since then he went on his busy business venture however he came back after a couple months and said he could have handled things differently, he missed me a lot and wants to slowly work back to getting things right between us again because he sees us as his future.
Don’t get me wrong I’m really happy but at the same time i feel there’s a lot that’s now come up that we need to work, especially feeling like a priority amongst all this. He was great the last few weeks communicating with me about things but he recently found out that I had a friends with benefits situation going on when we broke up and he’s been a bit distant because he was my first and he liked it that way. I said that it wasn’t fair he held that against me and he agreed that he shouldn’t be taking it so hard. Anyway I felt like we’d moved on but since arriving back from holidays today he’s been distance this last week and hasn’t been messaging as much.
Anywho thats a high level – my questions are:
If he’s being a bit distant now and not contacting as much what should i do? I’ve just been giving him space because he left and I feel that he needs to come back and show he is willing to fix this and build my trust. How do we close the distance?
And question two is how do we work on things when (as us girls do) I have a list of things I need to get off my chest and work on but i don’t want to overwhelm the guy and have him running but at the same time the more i don’t talk with him about it the more I get angry and frustrated when these things happen? Guys out there how do would you suggest sharing with him what’s on my mind i.e. i need to be a priority and feel cared for amongst everything going on and i’d appreciate if he checked in a bit more during the week to build trust given he left.
Thoughts/advice? Thanks a mil x