What's the easiest way to let an older man down?


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals What's the easiest way to let an older man down?

This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  tammy 3 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #744006 Reply

    Better off single

    There’s this guy who shows up at my job. He was instantly attracted to me and even was straight forward about it. He said I was beautiful.

    He’s an attractive man, the problem is he is 63 and I am 34. He has children my age.

    He wants to take me on a date. I find excuses why I can’t. Kids. Work. Sleep. I was off for 3 days and he asked my boss where I was. He even said she should have said something to him about going on my “mini vacation” so he could have taken me out. She looks out for me and I love the lady for it. Told him it was none of his business and if I wanted him to know I would have told him. Which is true.

    He shows up everyday. He started having issues with his back. He pulled a muscle or something. I made polite suggestions. He told me he ended up going to the mall and got a massage from “those Asian people you always see giving massages at the mall” and made a point to say it was a female and how she did a good job and it really helped a lot. I told him I was happy for him that he got it sorted out. Then he went on to say he was out mowing his lawn on Saturday and wound up pulling a muscle on the other side. I suggested hot/cold compresses. He kept hinting at him wanting me to give him a massage. I told him to go back to the mall. I work at a gas station and as he left, he pulled up to a pump, pressed the help needed button, and drove off. (he never got gasoline)

    I’m normally not a rude person and really dislike hurting other people’s feelings unless I’m backed into a corner and this guy is pushing me that direction. He knows I’m single and that’s why he’s pursuing I guess. The age difference doesn’t seem to be a problem for him. It is for me. I wish I knew him when he was young. I’m not interested and I think he is mistaken my kindness for weakness. I am weak in this area because I know it takes courage to express to someone you like them in a sexual way and I don’t want to hurt his feelings because I can be too blunt and its hurtful. What should I say?

    #744008 Reply

    L

    At his age, it won’t be a very long term relationship.

    #744012 Reply

    jarcom

    A 63 y/o dude hits on me and I would call him off. He does it again and I sue him for harassment. You won’t see a 63 y/o woman hitting on a 34 guy. Men just think they are entitle to anything.

    #744018 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    One thing you could try is start chatting significantly less, but still make polite eye contact and smile.

    That will gently limit his opportunity to suggest things like a massage, if the conversation is not a conversation.

    Talk less.

    Drift into a more professional mode.

    #744019 Reply

    Better off single

    Sue? Seriously? The guy has a crush. Why would it have to turn into a legal battle? If it came down to it, I could make him aware how uninterested I am and seriously bruse his ego. I’m trying to avoid that because he is a nice guy and it’s bad for business. Or comes off as a nice guy anyway.

    Thank you for the suggestion Annie.

    L always a pleasure seeing your comments :)

    #744034 Reply

    anon

    Simply tell him that you aren’t interested in a date.

    Also, it’s gross that he keeps asking you for a massage. Like that’s not OK.

    #744036 Reply

    jarcom

    Because you are at work. He doesn’t have a crush, he probably hits in every other young woman that he has the chance to.

    #744045 Reply

    Better off single

    He’s never outwardly asked me for the massage. He’s hinted at it. He may be older, he’s still a man, and men are all horn dogs. Some are better at hiding it. He talked to me about my days I had off and “why didn’t I tell him so he could take me out” I just shrugged. Then asked him about his back trying to change the subject as fast as I could. Like L said, At his age, it won’t be a very long term relationship…I’d be worried about giving the guy a heart attack and dying in the middle of sex. He seems pretty healthy for the most part but you never know. He uses Snuss, which aids in heart disease. It would be a bad day for me. He’d die happy though I guess.

    It’s obvious he has a crush on me. Yeah, he probably does do it to other women. They probably go for it because they want a sugar daddy and get material crap they will forget about in a month and free meals. I could care less because I am really not interested in him in that way or having a sugar daddy. I do just fine on my own. Going as far as sue the guy who is a customer for harassment is just ridiculous. I think suing someone is stupid in general. I’m sure there are very few good reasons to sue someone. It’s more trouble than its worth and also seems more like the person filing the suit is like a tattle tail who didn’t get their way crying to mommy looking to ruin someone’s reputation and get money out of them. Which is pretty low. I’d rather settle it one on one.

    #744047 Reply

    anon

    If you are interested in the guy, go for it.

    But if you are tired of him asking you out and hitting on you, tell him you aren’t interested. This is not that hard. If he doesn’t respect that, the next step is to tell him to leave you alone as his attention creeps you out.

    #744058 Reply

    Lurker

    I’d tell him he really reminds me of my dad/uncle/grandad.

    That’ll stop the flirting!

    #744063 Reply

    Devil’s Advocate

    Tell him your stalker doesn’t like it when you date and he’ll tap his phone and cause his car not to work too!!

    #744077 Reply

    Bets

    Tell him u have a boyfriend or you’re seeing someone. Simple.

    #744080 Reply

    Emma

    BOS, you lost your job at a hotel? You used to work at a hotel, they gave you some warnings, and now you are at a gas station. What happened there?

    #744091 Reply

    Better off single

    That job was super boring so I quit. I forgot what I was even written up for. I think it had to do with a guest complaint. The clientel that came in had that “entitlement” mentality and it really gets on my nerves, so I must have slipped and said something to offend their pampered ego. It was time to go before I got fired.

    #744111 Reply

    tammy

    I am not sure why is it so difficult to simply tell a man your not interested. cut out all the small talk. maybe he thinks he stands a chance bec you chat with him. stop that. and next time he asks for a date tell him straight on no your not interested in him. end of chapter.

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