What should I do?

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This topic contains 20 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Jackie 5 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 21 posts - 1 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #739441 Reply


    He lives and works in NYC. I used to date him when I lived in NYC. I moved to NJ to my parent’s house to save money in November 2018. I work in NYC. He works in real estate. He texted me on 11/25/2018 to say a room opened up two blocks from his place. I am welcome to see it but the building doesn’t have gym. I texted him “I need gym in the building. I want my own studio but so expensive 😞”. He was at Hawaii at that time traveling. I asked him “When are you coming back?”. He said “Not sure when I’ll be back yet lol”

    A week later on 12/4/2018, I texted him “Are you back?”. He did not respond. He has been active on social media.

    He lost interest because I wasn’t willing to move closer to him. I am currently commuting hour and half everyday to work to save money. Living in NYC is too expensive. What should I do?

    #739443 Reply


    Move on. He is not interested

    #739469 Reply


    I might be moving to NYC in March 1. Is it ok to text him “Hey I moved to NYC! What you up to?”? Is it desperate?

    #739470 Reply


    Dating in New York is hard. Do you have a car? Does he? I remember from my time in New York, it was considered long distance if he lived in different boroughs. Whether or not you think he’s worth the effort to reconnect with is up to you. If you feel like you really had something with him, and it wasn’t just superficial, I don’t see any harm in letting him know you’re closer.

    #739561 Reply


    He does have a car. He parks it in another borough (Queens, NY). If he pick up his car and drive to NJ, it will take 3-4 hours. I work in NYC. I pass by one block from his place everyday on the way to work. It is actually very convenient for me if I can stay at his place once or twice per week and we can also hangout Friday – Sunday.

    Issue is he is not willing to date a girl in NJ. Living in NYC is a requirement. If I don’t move to NYC soon, he will just find another girl in NYC.

    NYC rent is $2000+. I have no money to save after I pay hefty rent. Even if I work for 5years, I will have no money saved.

    If I keep living in NJ, is there chance he might still text me?

    #739566 Reply


    why don’t you get your life together instead of focusing on how to best position yourself for a guy that doesn’t seem interested in you. This all strikes me as extremely desperate that you are making major life decisions to be near some guy you aren’t even dating.
    Stop this and focus on your career and future.

    #739567 Reply


    Unfortunately I think it’s time to move on.

    You’re one block from his place daily, and can stay the weekends. That’s a lot of time you could spend with each other.

    But he chooses not to. I think there’s more to it than not living in the city, but either way that’s what he’s saying and I don’t think you’ll hear from him much in the future.

    Why are you moving on March 1 if you can’t afford to? For a guy who’s showing low/no interest? Don’t do that. Even if you spend all the money to move – first and last month’s rent plus security – there’s such low interest I don’t think you’d date.

    If he was really interested he’d have you staying over during the week and on weekends NOW.

    #739569 Reply


    Have you even heard from him since 11/25/18? He didn’t respond to your 12/4 text, has he ever gotten in touch with you since November?

    #739572 Reply


    No. He did not respond to my text 12/4 and we haven’t texted since.

    #739574 Reply

    Better off Single

    So this guy is the end all be all of guys, there are none in NJ, and you have to move just so this guy would consider being interested in even dating you?

    #739576 Reply


    No shade but please MOVE ON

    #739582 Reply


    Two months of nothing? Why would you even be considering this?! No no no!

    #739586 Reply


    I am logged into his Netflix account still and he’s been watching a lot of girly movies (Sixteen Candles, Beauty and the Beast, Gilmore Girls, Little Mermaid). I think he already has a new girl.

    #739587 Reply

    Better off Single

    Well, you have your answer then or he has a child/niece he didn’t tell you about.

    Stop. That’s just creepy and you’re only going to confirm your worst case scenarios.

    #739589 Reply


    Oh Honey… Please move on.

    #739605 Reply


    Yes he’s moved on. You not living in NYC was just his excuse to break up with you. He hasn’t contacted you in two and a half months. He’s not interested anymore. Time to let it go.

    #739608 Reply


    you must be next level crazy to want to uproot your life and move, ruining your finances, for a man who shows absolutely NO interest in you. Why would you want to do that? Fact is, if your in NYC daily, a block away from his flat, you being in NJ has no bearing on your relationship whatsoever. He’s just using it as an excuse. When you still contacted him he flatout ignored you. he can’t make it any more clear he’s not interested

    #739630 Reply


    He could say the samething about me.

    He’s thinking “Her interest level towards me is very little. I even found a place right by my place and asked her to take a look and she said no because of such a petty issue like no gym in the building. We can continue to see each other and also she can get to work in 20 min. But she said no. (I work in Wall Street area).”

    #739631 Reply


    His apartment building does have a gym and I could have just used it for free. There are multiple gyms one block radius for $20 a month. But she said no. She may not be that interested in continuing to see me.

    #739633 Reply


    Hmm, I am afraid you are trying to apply your logic to his actions or rather to the lack thereof.

    #739649 Reply


    You’re living in fantasy land girl!

    If he was thinking ANY of those things and was interested he’d be chasing you!

    He’s. Not. Interested.

    Come back to reality and MOVE ON!!

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