What is her deal?

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  anon 11 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #753433 Reply


    So this is an update to everything thats been happening with this woman-

    Shes on a business trip for 4 weeks, we hooked up, chemistry was super strong, then only meets me for sex, keeps declining dates, i feel used, then to confront her (hey i need to talk to and will probably lose you over this but i need my dignity), then she IMMEDIATELY sets up a date, i go, and she tries to avoid the talk but i force it out anyways, basically telling her i will treat her as a FWB as impersonally as possible. She ok’s it then somehow within the hour we are all over eachother, eventually spend the night and all next day being as couple-y as possible.

    I don’t know why she’s like this.

    Any ideas?

    #753434 Reply


    Then i confront her*

    #753437 Reply


    So you agreed to hook up with a woman who is there on business, and you somehow feel used because she just wants to hook up?

    I don’t really understand- sometimes women want more than just sex and want to hang out too, while not being in a relationship. She probably assumed at the outset that you just wanted sex so was playing cool. Now she knows the “end game”, FWB, so she’s just enjoying your company.

    Some women can stay emotionally detached while doing more than having sex, just like guys can.

    Men have trained us well.

    #753438 Reply


    Better question: Why are you behaving in the manner You are?!

    #753440 Reply


    But if you said you’re going to treat her as FWB what’s the problem? She’s behaving like how things are. Unless you wanted more than that?

    #753441 Reply


    Nathalie, yeah i do and ive been telling her so.

    #753443 Reply


    Do I understand this right…she’s only in your town for 4 weeks and you’ve been seeing each other during that time? How far away will she live when she goes back home? And if you want more than FWB why tell her you will treat her like one?

    #753445 Reply


    I just find her behavior highly telling and want to know whether it is because she likes me as a legit partner or just a sexual object.

    -ive been telling her i wanted a relationship
    -shes been rejecting the idea
    -also been rejecting my date offers
    -i text her an ultimatum (we need to talk cuz its an end)
    -she replied with setting up a date
    -the ‘talk’ was kinda waved off
    -we spent almost 2 days together from that date

    I mean to me it seems like she likes me just as much but avoiding developing that feeling for personal reasons?


    #753446 Reply


    This happens to women all the time.

    She realizes that she is leaving shortly and that men are not the best at maintaining new distance relationships. She may really like you.

    Also, I think most women, anymore, don’t take guys who say they want a relationship at face value. We’ve all heard that line a bunch of times, only to be ghosted or faded on after a few weeks of sex. She’s probably hedging that you’ll stop texting soon enough.

    #753448 Reply


    Obviously i like her enough to come here to talk about it.

    How can i make her see that i’m being genuine?

    #753449 Reply


    I see.

    Well she probably has a bf back home. Or she doesn’t want to be too attached to you because of the distance when she’s gonna have to go back. Or she doesn’t do relationship at all. Or she likes your company to keep seeing you while she’s there but don’t necessarily see a future.

    #753452 Reply


    She could possibly feel the same way, but might be scared of getting emotionally invested and heartbroken and staying detached.

    #753453 Reply


    Do you have a plan to move to her city or to continue to see her when her work ends? You could pursue her with actions, continue to see her, make plans to see her when she leaves.

    But most smart women don’t buy into words anymore because we’ve all had empty words hurt us.

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