We were friends for years, we had sex then he stopped talking to me

Home Forums Did He Lose Interest? We were friends for years, we had sex then he stopped talking to me

This topic contains 38 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Amanda 6 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 14 posts - 26 through 39 (of 39 total)
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  • #678897 Reply


    He texted you all the way up to having sex? But never dated you, ok. Then you had sex, he probably didn’t like it,

    #678901 Reply


    @OMG… You are SO rude! I don’t think anyone appreciates your advice.

    Maybe you could find another site to be obnoxious and rude to people??

    #679339 Reply


    Dont worry I’m not affected at all. I don’t think he disliked the sex. He actually thinks he was bad and was not proud of his performance…

    I actually have more questions to ask. The next morning, this man had breakfast with me for 3 hours (even if he had so much work), kissed me romantically, and when I told him “hope you’ll visit me” he answered “you want to see me again? I didn’t expect that”. He seemed to be sad to leave me.
    How can you explain that I don’t have any messages? Have you ever faced the same situation ? :(

    #679384 Reply


    Honestly, to me it sounds like he just wanted a fun, short time and he got it. Unfortunately, that is how most men think, and maybe the fact that he seems like he’s interested is just meant to want to keep you around as a backup. It sucks, trust me, but move on and find a better man.

    #679428 Reply


    If he is not contacting you his psychological state is really irrelevant.

    #679449 Reply


    I’m confused. You say you were great friends for two years, but you can’t pick up the phone and call him? We can’t read his mind. Call and have a conversation. If he doesn’t answer or pick up then you’ll just have to live with the fact that this little date was a quick fling and he is not the friend you thought he was. Nothing else you can do.

    #679450 Reply


    You told him you are hard to get and then you slept with him on a first date. You should really think this one out. Just because you were friends (how good we don’t know) and you’ve known him before this was still the first date. So obviously you are not that hard to get. And this is not me trying to be rude, it is to make you think about how to act with guys in the future so that your ideas and words match your actions.

    The other thing is – guys mostly do what is easy. So after waking up next to you the easy thing was to have breakfast and enjoy the time and attention you gave him. No drama, no tears when he tells you he doesn’t want to see you. After that he disappears. Easy on him again. No drama, no tears he has to witness. He is probably just a coward. He does the easiest thing. And you let him act like that.

    That is why the next time you shouldn’t get attached to a guy who will not prove his interest for you constantly. You can sleep with whoever you want, but if you get attached doing it maybe skip it at the beginning of a relationship.

    #679483 Reply

    Devil’s Advocate

    Please tell us you didn’t pay for the plane ticket to go and have sex with this man on the first date only for him to disappear!!

    #679506 Reply


    @devil’s avocate i did and it is a very sad situation for me

    @tina – yes I am hard to get and will maintain it. If I had sex with him it’s because I knew him for a long time and we flirted. I usually never flirt and never with a friend or colleague.
    In my life no guys even dared to flirt with me because they know that it wouldn’t have work out.
    With this guy, things were different, I already met him more than 7 times face to face and we were talking a lot. So i trusted him with time.

    #679507 Reply


    This is my take on the situation. Being a friend to someone is different from dating.

    I have plenty of good friends that I never dated given their track record with dating.

    In this situation I think it would have been wise to treat him as a new guy you were getting to know. Instead you jumped in with both feet and now you are learning a lesson.

    He sounds like a guy who chased and chased, then when he got what he wanted the thrill was over.

    If he reaches out I wouldn’t see him again because disappearing for two weeks after sex is rude.

    I’m sorry this happened to you.

    #681412 Reply


    Hi just wanted to ggive you some updates.
    As you suggested, I sent him a message telling him that I am disappointed etc. My friends read it and my message was perfect. His answer surprised me and shows that he is a coward and a Bastard. He told me that he understands that I’m angry but he is busy (a one line answer!).

    #681413 Reply


    Wow what a jerk. Can you post what you sent? Anyway, now you have learned this guy’s true character. MOA>

    #681423 Reply


    Yes I’m shocked. I don’t want to post it for confidentiality but what I said globally is that I thought he was a decent man but someone who is decent doesn’t change his behaviour after sex, that all he wanted was to sleep with me.
    I also told him that I went intimate with him because I thought we would have a future but I was wrong about him.

    All he answered was this 1 line sentence !

    #681449 Reply


    I stand by my he is a jerk claim. However, you are learning the hard way that simply “thinking” there is a future after sex is a huge mistake. A guy’s default is always there is not a future and it is just sex. So if you want to have a future you need to make that explicit. Men don’t catch subtleties.

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