We are not officially exclusive yet?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Shoshannah 1 year, 9 months ago.

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  • #612630 Reply


    So I met my guy on tinder almost 4 months ago. It stated very casual at first, dates about twice a week. Now it’s become more serious – we stay in touch throughout the day, see each other 4-5 nights a week and have been getting to know each other on a deeper level.

    I’ve read that it’s better to avoid having a DTR conversation and just let it happen naturally which is how this seems to be going, except for last night. I was at his place and my phone buzzed and he said “was that a tinder match?” in an obviously joking tone.

    I just laughed and said no. Why would he ask me that? To me it seems like we are exclusive basically by default because we spend so much time together. I still have tinder and bumble on my phone but hardly ever check them because I’ve been busy with him. He has deleted his tinder account, but still has bumble.

    What do you guys think?

    #612632 Reply


    He made a joke-end of story.

    #612633 Reply


    I would take it for just what he said in a joking manner.. You too are together so much I doubt if he is dating anyone else.

    #612640 Reply


    Well he obviously doesn’t think you’re exclusive to ask you that question. Ideally, what you should have done is say no and ask him if he was still seeing others.

    A lot of men ask a question in order to have a talk. He may have asked joking or more likely he was checking where you both stand. He wants to know if you’re seeing anyone else. It’s impossible to tell though because he wants to be exclusive or if he wants you to be focused on him, even if he’s not 100% focused on you.

    Next time, reply but ask the same question back. That’s how you find out where you stand without having to instigate “the talk”.

    #612721 Reply


    I think it was a joke, but at the same time – invitation for confirmation that you are exclusive. You haven’t had any talk, so officially you are allowed to date other people and he was just alluding to that (which doesn’t mean that he would approve of that, on the contrary, I think he made this comment, because he wouldn’t).

    #612736 Reply


    Also, this gives you a great opportunity to know where you stand without having a talk. Next time you see him, you can refer to this question of his. ‘You thought I’m still tindering?’ ‘Are you?’ It may be seen as a joke, but it can also can give you a lot of info on your ‘status’.

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