This topic contains 17 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Tania 8 months ago.
December 2, 2018 at 12:49 pm #730911
Hey ladies !
I have been dating with this guy for almost a year already. We both live in europe but different countries…We are seeing eachother almost every month.. everything seems well, except last time when we met he acted a little bit colder, so I got a little bit worried if he is still really interested in me. Now he planned to come to my country, but the flights were super expensive that he couldn’t really afford it. I checked the flights to his place, it was much cheaper for me..still I thought that maybe he just didn’t want to come anymore, as we haven’t called lately very often etc…
so I asked him maybe I can visit him instead.. he was happy about that and even offered to split the costs. Yesterday he asked me if I want to go to his parents place when I am there, as his mother asked him if we wanna go there maybe.
Do you think I should worry and it was rather a bad idea going there`? I am also surprised that he will take me to his parents.. I guess a man doesn’t take a woman to his parents unless he takes it seriously?December 2, 2018 at 2:48 pm #730914
Seems you’ve answered your own question…December 2, 2018 at 3:05 pm #730919
Well I hope so. Maybe he takes me rather as a friend and brings me home anyways ?December 2, 2018 at 3:20 pm #730922
It depends, some families just want to know who their children are dating for secure reasons doesn’t mean they ask him to bring you because you’re a serious thing you never know. But most of the time if the family knows about you then he takes it seriously. Long distance can make you feel problems in your relationship when there isnt any. It does that to you. Just go on your trip see how it turns out and have fun.December 2, 2018 at 3:20 pm #730923
At least you will be seeing each other in person again so you might get a better sense of what he is thinking. But if you felt he was cold the last time and you dont really talk anymore, i would think its fizzling out on his side. Or too much hassle and too little contact.
Have you posted about this guy before? I remember something about a girl in norway and a last visit that went bad. I forgot why. If you have a feeling he is not really into it, you are probably right. If a guy is really serious he wants you as a partner, you would know it by now. He wouldnt leave you second guessing. So i think its good youre going, but dont forget to ask the hard questionsDecember 3, 2018 at 11:09 am #730979
No I am not Norwegian :)
Thank you for your answers.My biggest fear is when he introduces me to his mom as a “friend”, it would be so mad :D
I will go next week and let you know after my trip.December 3, 2018 at 12:16 pm #730988
Do you even know if he considers you a girlfriend? How much longer are you ok with this long distance. Because at some point you have to close th distance and have a real relationship. It gets old only seeing someone every month or so. Plus the cost of travel. Have you both discussed where this is headed? You guessing about the parents is odd. He should be discussing a future with you.December 3, 2018 at 12:33 pm #730990
OK has a valid point. How come are you wondering about the parents anyway..If you’re in a relationship for a year parents talk must have crossed the table by now right, why are you not comfortable to ask him about it?December 3, 2018 at 2:35 pm #731014
We have been dating for a year by now. Will go there soon, and will see what happens. I want to make things clear this time. If we won’t cut the distance soon I will just leave it..December 3, 2018 at 2:45 pm #731017
I don’t think it would matter a lot how he’d introduce you to his mom. He can say “friend” but everyone knows what it means. That you are sleeping together.
Whether he is serious about you or not will become evident from other things. Moving closer or asking you to move closer is the main one.December 3, 2018 at 7:06 pm #731034
After a year and you don’t know what you are? You already know the answer which is why you are posting here.December 3, 2018 at 8:11 pm #731038
I think it was too expensive and you two made a good decision for you to fly to him.. and of course the family will know you are his girlfriend. Quit fussing and enjoy. He wants you there and is glad you are coming.December 18, 2018 at 10:49 am #732691
So.. I arrived from his place yesterday.
The weekend was great! We spent 4 days together..he picked me up from the airport, we kissed and he brought me to a local restaurant..had nice sex and so on. Next days we were at his parents place.. he didn’t really introduce me nor a gf or a friend, just said sth like ” mom, this is Tania”.. still I felt he was a little bit distant while we were at his parents place, which made me a little bit worried. Maybe I just want too much kisses and hugs in some random moments i don’t know :D Anyways we went for hiking, he showed me his favourite places.. went to a waterpark and stuff and we had lots of fun together!
I think his mother really liked me, she was somehow superhappy I was there. During those days she reallu hints around Tom (he guy I like), that “we should show her another places too and so on.” Tom didn’t really mention much, which I thought maybe he doesn’t really see a future with me and now thinks that it wasnt that good idea to bring me home, and now his mom reallly likes me :D
when we left his parents, had a nice last evening together, played cards, ate, cuddled. He said he is really gonna miss me and will come to visit me in January. In the morning he needed to go to work, so we said goodbye and again that we will see soon. he left.. and he came back after 30 mins, because he wanted to bring me breakfast and give me one more kiss. He also gave me pictures we made together in summer at my place, which was nice :)
I know that its stupid I didn’t ask much about where it will lead.. I just wanted to go with the flow this time..December 18, 2018 at 12:48 pm #732711
Still I think I maybe better also date with other guys..just in case!December 18, 2018 at 2:21 pm #732721
TaniA- you re being silly. You plan to date other guys before you would just get him to clarify your status?
It sounds like all is pretty good! I would find out his interest level/ seriousness asap or at least in January. You talk about liking him-are neither of you declaring your love for each other yet? Strange at a year in…December 18, 2018 at 2:53 pm #732729
Thanks for updating..so glad all went well..
But i agree with Peggy. It’s strange to me at a year these deep talks are not being addressed even when you are in person. It’s like you’re going in blind into this. Are you even bf and gf? I understand you dont want to push too much and pressure things and risk ruining the good moments but you do need to know the exclusivity of a future at some point. Long distance sucks and I wouldn’t invest with anyone that haven’t define a plan with me or at least talked openly about his opinions on it. But it is your life and your time at the end of the day. All the very best.December 18, 2018 at 3:10 pm #732732
This has a lot to do with distance. It’s difficult to maintain a connection when you don’t see each other regularly. I’ve had these moments many times with my BF but a lot of that had to do with me not being vulnerable and and restrained in my feelings so he was the same. I finally ‘broke the ice’ by asking him directly “do you love me?” and he answered “yes” and further explained that because I’m not emotional he thought if e told me t would scare me away lol.
You need to find out as this is way too much time to be in the dark. Seek the light as this can’t be fun or enjoyable for either of you if you don’t know what you want are.December 19, 2018 at 7:51 am #732831
Thank you all!!
That’s actually maybe good idea to ask the same from him, if he loves me..im maybe too scared of his answer, but at least I know then what it is.