Venting about a toxic person in my life


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Better off Single 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #741403 Reply

    Marla

    Hi everyone! There’s this guy I WAS into. He wasn’t into me at first and I kind of chased him. Then I realized it wasn’t the right thing to do and pressed hard on the brakes after less than 3 months. Now, he won’t stop bugging me. The more he does the angrier I get because it’s never anything good or asking me out properly. He even has family showing up at my job. He keeps telling me we are done. I told him I didn’t care. It’s how he feels there is nothing I can/wanna do to change his mind. He’s just not that into me and it’s okay. There’s someone out there who will be. He wants to keep it superficial. So I’ll get around to texting him when I feel like making the time. I’m not a fan of superficiality. I always try to make peace or compromise and he’s making it difficult.
    He’s the one who said he was done and told me I needed a mental health professional. He’s the one creating all this madness! and not really putting any effort into confirming plans to meet up anyway. He’s the one who thainks I’m foolish because I’m not chasing him anymore. I don’t hate him or his family. I hate this situation and do everything I can to protest it. I lied and told him I was seeing someone else. I even really did see other people. It made him so jealous. Then he would try to get back at me and make me jealous. I lied to him a lot. Obvious lies he would catch me in. He hates lying. TBH, he’s not exactly being real with me either and I’m so flipping angry knowing it won’t change and I can’t control it. So that’s how I’m responding to it. Giving him a taste of his own medicine. I wanted to be nice. I wanted to make it work. It’s not working for me, I told him, I’m not waiting around for him, that I’m doing my own thing, and he’s mad at me for it. I don’t want to force him to like or love me. Right now, I could care less if he does. In fact, I’m pretty much doing everything I can to do the opposite because he doesn’t want to be real with me. I show no interest in his life and I’m intentionally pushing him away. He’s wasted so much time. I feel I’d be better off without him and doesn’t deserve to know the real me either after all he’s put me through. My ego is bruised. I’m shattered inside. I’m a shell of the person I once was before I met him from pretending to be something I’m not for a long time. All I get are a trail of his bread crumbs. I hate texting and talking on the phone. He keeps calling me from random numbers. It’s annoying. Especially when my phone says “call from… unavailable.” Is he waiting for me to move on so he can make a move on someone I know? Show up to be something with her knowing it’s what I wanted from the start? He can go ahead and do it if its what he wants. No waiting is necessary. The sooner the better so I can get over it quicker. There are plenty of other guys out there and I’m in no hurry. He keeps saying he’s done. I don’t believe him.

    #741433 Reply

    Nathalie

    If you truly want this man and his family to leave you alone you have to involve the law into it. File a restraining order for peace.

    There’s no way you can ‘pretend’ to move on. You must truly get him to leave you alone so you can focus and move forward.

    If you do not get legal assistance then he will keep doing whatever the hell he pleases regardless of what you do on your own.

    #741434 Reply

    Gabby

    “I hate this situation and do everything I can to protest it.”

    And there is your problem. You’re involved in a negative way but you’re still involved. You’re not done by a long shot. When you decide you’re done and stop feeding energy to him and this situation he will go away. But I don’t think you really want that, if you’re being honest. I think you enjoy the drama and that he’s still paying attention to you.

    I”m sorry, but you sound very immature.

    #741448 Reply

    Emma

    Marla, I think he is into you but does not want to admit his defeat. Some men have enormous sense of pride, which ultimately costs them a lot of good things in life.

    It seems to me that you still have emotions for him. I suggest that you stop being aggressive. When you talk next time, tell him that it was not you who wanted to end things. That you really liked him. But then him saying that he wants “superficial” really hurt and offended you. Tell him that if he asks you out properly you won’t be able to refuse.

    If this is not possible within your circumstances then simply ignore whatever he is doing, keep ignoring for a long time. He’d either stop eventually or he’d want to take without playing games.

    #741453 Reply

    Jdj

    Another bos post of bull$hit

    #741455 Reply

    Better off Single

    Whatever helps you sleep at night dude.

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