Home Forums Break Up Advice Venting.

This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Katie 10 months ago.

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  • #668763 Reply

    Katie Fox

    I’m having a had time getting over my ex. It was a really complicated situation & I think I still have some qualit cause of it. He was married when we started dating but I didn’t find out till a month in (from his then wife). He has 3 kids also. He said he was going to file but didnt. I stayed with him & ended up moving in with him. His wife filed & made it so he could only see the kids every other Saturday, could have over nights with them & coukdnt inturduce then to me. He broke up with me the end of January. He said he needed to spend more time with his kid & didn’t want to get married again. But I found out he’s engaged to & living the a woman he started dating two months after we broke up.

    #668764 Reply


    He needed a woman to give him the courage to break from the wife. Then he felt a little guilty and the kids needed him. But at the same time he probably has this inflated ego that makes him think he should have a woman so he picked up the new one. He is not a dependable man.

    You were needed by him temporarily. Men getting a divorce often go for anyone nice to get out , then have second thoughts when they are free. But then they continue to search for women. His new woman will probably not be lifetime. He is confused and stupid.

    You just got sucked into a dumb divorce drama.

    It’s ok, you will know better next time

    #668765 Reply

    Katie Fox

    Thank you but I should clarify that when we met they had been separated for an year & a half. And he had dated other women. So it wasn’t like an affair, they just hadn’t filed for divorce yet. And this new woman seems to thing he is amazing & they’ll be together forever. But I see through his BS.

    #668766 Reply


    You dodged a bullet and today of all days you should be thankful. It’s her problem now.

    There’s no specific reason why men or even women for that matter do these things other than they’re extremely hurt and trying to mask the pain or forget about it. It doesn’t make him confused or stupid.

    He said he needed to spend more time with his kid & didn’t want to get married again….a white lie to spare you anymore heartache. Think about it. “I’m leaving you for another woman.” Do you think that would hurt less?

    I don’t think he had ill intentions starting things out it just wasnt working out simple as that. Please don’t blame yourself. The way things went down says more about who he is.

    You thought he was amazing too at one point how did that change? Because you feel rejected? I’m not asking to be patronizing I’m just curious.

    #668767 Reply

    Katie Fox

    He didn’t leave me for her. They met two months after we broke up. And yes I didn’t think he was amazing at one time but I realized that he lied to me about other things. And he broke up with me over text, without any real consideration for my feels and we lived together. A real man wouldn’t do that. But you’re right. I did Doug a bullet. I’m very thankful for that. Cause what happened says a lot more about him. I guess I’m just wondering why he treated me that way & he’s not treating this new woman like that.

    #668768 Reply


    Maybe because he finally did it the right way and waited until he was divorced. I know you don’t want to hear it but he wasn’t still married. Otherwise the wife would not have made such a point of telling you this a month in. If they were separated and she didn’t care, she would have let it be. Obviously they still had unfinished business. So even though he dated other women befor eyou. You were still a rebound. The new woman is starting anew, let it go. It’s been almost a year. Just focus in you and don’t date men separated

    #668769 Reply


    Pammy- I know him & his wife still had unfinished business. They hadn’t filed yet. They weren’t living together. But they divorce wasn’t finial till after he started dating his new girlfriend.

    #668770 Reply


    I’m sorry that you’ve been through this. A man who is still married, but dates – a lot, from what you are saying, changes girlfriends one after another… I know this type. You’re better off! And no, he won’t treat her differently.

    #668772 Reply


    I don’t know how much he dated. All I know is that he had two relationships before me (and after he separated from his wife)!& dated after his last relationship till we met.
    according to his new gf, he treats her like a queen. but I see a pattern.

    #668774 Reply


    He starts dating her two months after we broke up & the divorce still wasn’t final. And I’m pretty sure he moved in with her when his lease was up.

    #668779 Reply

    Stephen G

    Hell that no fury like a Katie scorned.

    #668780 Reply


    I’m sorry I have feelings….

    #668789 Reply


    Some people don’t take the valuable time to be alone after a significant breakup. It would spare so many feelings and lives if they did. Consider yourself lucky that you can now focus on you and find someone, who is actually looking for a real relationship not just a band aid to tie them over.

    #668808 Reply


    This may seem immature or jealous but I guess I’d just like an expiation. I know I’m necer going to get on & im better off. And it just sucks that he get to go off & be happy.

    #668810 Reply


    Dear Katie…
    I am sorry but you can do better.
    How do you know that everything the current girlfriend is the truth? If even that. Men will treat the new woman very nice in the beginning…and the if the man Does Not truly like the woman, it will fade …this man is covering his pain by dating will get old…and he will have to face the reality..he is lost and selfish…
    Learn from this and move on….
    Good luck…

    #668814 Reply


    Vickie- thank you. I’m trying to remember I can do better. I think part of it is that I don’t have a lot of dating experience. You’re right that I don’t know how he really treats her. He I agree he was & maybe still is covering up his pain by dating. But they have been together since March & are engaged.

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